I don't mean yesterday as in Monday... but yesterday like any day before today. Sometimes things happen that we can't control. Or maybe we could have controlled the intial action, but we can't control the consequences. We can control our response to all of it... or at least I think we can work towards it.
I don't always make the best decisions. I am extremely sensitive and sometimes I allow a person's words, actions or presumed thoughts to take hold. We always tell people that you shouldn't care what people think. Usually, I agree. I shouldn't care what those girls are saying about something they only saw and don't even know me. I shouldn't care about someone who has made some false assumptions about me or the people who only have their own best interest in mind. I do care about what my family thinks... what my friends think... what those people think that know me and are going to hold me accountable for my actions.
I can't change what happened three years ago... I can't change how I responded to something in the past and I especially can't change how someone else responded to something... I can listen and move on. I don't want to be disrespected or rolled over, but I also hope that I can take the good with the bad and use it for the next yesterday.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Monday, April 17, 2006
sherri coale
I never really had any interest in Oklahoma basketball until Stacey Dales-Schuman took the team to the championship game in 2002. The OU coach, Sherri Coale, started doing diaries on espn.com during that season... sometimes she writes more often than others, but it usually keeps me thinking. This year her team lost to Stanford in the sweet 16. Very few teams ever end a season on a win, but no matter how much company you have, ending on a loss is never easy. Some highlights from today's diary...
"Hemingway once said that 'Life is filled with sobs, sniffles, and smiles -- with sniffles predominating.' I believe him in my bones but this business balks. I love the way participation in athletics forces one to disdain mediocrity. I love the push the rush I even in a twisted sort of 'never-want-to-be-there-again' way, love the bottom so made of solid rock. I would even go so far as to say that I feel blessed to be a part of a profession that lives in such extremes. But I don't think mediocrity is the stuff of which Hemingway spoke. Even if it is, that is not his point."
"Hemingway was right. Rare are the times we climb the ladder, cut the nets and dance the night away. We did that twice this year -- lucky, lucky are we. And rarer, still, is the devastation we feel when the ball goes square and the wings of destiny flap over someone else's jerseys. That happened last Saturday [a 88-74 loss to Stanford on March 25]. Most of our year was somewhere in the middle of those two emotional explosions. That was his point. Life is what happens to you while you aren't looking. So keep your eyes open, Ernest urges. Don't miss it. That's what I want my kids -- and my staff -- to know. Enjoy the days. Replay the stuff. Wallow in the wins we walked to as well as the wins we wrestled for. And don't let one set of 40 minutes define a year. You become in the middle. And at the end of all your days, the middle better be worth remembering or you won't have much."
Coale Diary - http://sports.espn.go.com/ncw/news/story?page=diary/coale7_200506
She goes on to talk about the impact the seniors made on the team and how the players are moving on from this past season. It takes me back to when I was competing and that period of mourning that always followed the conference tournament. It never seemed like we fulfilled our potential. In some ways, that's comforting because at least you know you could be better, even if it wasn't until next year... but after your last game of your last season... there is no next year. Losing sucks... but it pays to appreciate the experience regardless of the result. One game should not define a year... or a career.
"Hemingway once said that 'Life is filled with sobs, sniffles, and smiles -- with sniffles predominating.' I believe him in my bones but this business balks. I love the way participation in athletics forces one to disdain mediocrity. I love the push the rush I even in a twisted sort of 'never-want-to-be-there-again' way, love the bottom so made of solid rock. I would even go so far as to say that I feel blessed to be a part of a profession that lives in such extremes. But I don't think mediocrity is the stuff of which Hemingway spoke. Even if it is, that is not his point."
"Hemingway was right. Rare are the times we climb the ladder, cut the nets and dance the night away. We did that twice this year -- lucky, lucky are we. And rarer, still, is the devastation we feel when the ball goes square and the wings of destiny flap over someone else's jerseys. That happened last Saturday [a 88-74 loss to Stanford on March 25]. Most of our year was somewhere in the middle of those two emotional explosions. That was his point. Life is what happens to you while you aren't looking. So keep your eyes open, Ernest urges. Don't miss it. That's what I want my kids -- and my staff -- to know. Enjoy the days. Replay the stuff. Wallow in the wins we walked to as well as the wins we wrestled for. And don't let one set of 40 minutes define a year. You become in the middle. And at the end of all your days, the middle better be worth remembering or you won't have much."
Coale Diary - http://sports.espn.go.com/ncw/news/story?page=diary/coale7_200506
She goes on to talk about the impact the seniors made on the team and how the players are moving on from this past season. It takes me back to when I was competing and that period of mourning that always followed the conference tournament. It never seemed like we fulfilled our potential. In some ways, that's comforting because at least you know you could be better, even if it wasn't until next year... but after your last game of your last season... there is no next year. Losing sucks... but it pays to appreciate the experience regardless of the result. One game should not define a year... or a career.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
be not afraid
"Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact."
- Henry James
- Henry James
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
operation weddings complete
I started this blog yesterday and ran out of intelligent things to say... I can't promise that this will be any better, but I'm feeling babble-ful...
Michelle and Dewey got married Saturday... it was my third wedding in six months, so there was some relief that I get a break... but it was definitely a lot of fun. It's been awhile since all of the girls had been able to get together, so we had fun catching up. There were people there that I hadn't seen since graduation and others I hadn't seen since elementary or middle school.
I think it's safe to say that kindergarten through our senior year, I was probably regarded as the hyper, occasionally obnoxious kid. I was always trying to do whatever people thought I would be too embarassed to do whether it was spending a day under my desk barking, wearing a flag as a cape, or just trying to be as loud as possible. I'm sure there are plenty of theories out there about why I did it all... some it was probably to get attention or get a laugh out of people, some of it was probably to try to pretend I didn't care what people thought about me, some of it was to try to keep from being boxed into the jock or the goody goody. Either way... I was weird! :)
I did some of the same junk in college, but I think (or at least I hope) I've grown up a bit in the last six years. I try to sit back more and listen and read a group better before I jump into song and dance. "Drama" has become more about finding a job and paying the bills compared to the "big" stuff we used to stress about like Johnny dumped me after 3 days to go out with Suzy or Lizzy won't stop talking about me. However... sometimes its fun to regress to the good ol' days and let go of the expectations of being an adult. It was such a relief to spend an afternoon/night with some great friends from high school to remind me of who I was... and who I am. I still can't dance and I definitely still can't sing... but they still put up with me! I'm thinking about having a fake wedding like we used to do in elementary school just to have an excuse to get everyone together again. I'll be registered at American Eagle and Best Buy!
Michelle and Dewey got married Saturday... it was my third wedding in six months, so there was some relief that I get a break... but it was definitely a lot of fun. It's been awhile since all of the girls had been able to get together, so we had fun catching up. There were people there that I hadn't seen since graduation and others I hadn't seen since elementary or middle school.
I think it's safe to say that kindergarten through our senior year, I was probably regarded as the hyper, occasionally obnoxious kid. I was always trying to do whatever people thought I would be too embarassed to do whether it was spending a day under my desk barking, wearing a flag as a cape, or just trying to be as loud as possible. I'm sure there are plenty of theories out there about why I did it all... some it was probably to get attention or get a laugh out of people, some of it was probably to try to pretend I didn't care what people thought about me, some of it was to try to keep from being boxed into the jock or the goody goody. Either way... I was weird! :)
I did some of the same junk in college, but I think (or at least I hope) I've grown up a bit in the last six years. I try to sit back more and listen and read a group better before I jump into song and dance. "Drama" has become more about finding a job and paying the bills compared to the "big" stuff we used to stress about like Johnny dumped me after 3 days to go out with Suzy or Lizzy won't stop talking about me. However... sometimes its fun to regress to the good ol' days and let go of the expectations of being an adult. It was such a relief to spend an afternoon/night with some great friends from high school to remind me of who I was... and who I am. I still can't dance and I definitely still can't sing... but they still put up with me! I'm thinking about having a fake wedding like we used to do in elementary school just to have an excuse to get everyone together again. I'll be registered at American Eagle and Best Buy!
Monday, April 3, 2006
skype
I am going to try to limit as much of the cheese ball factor as possible, but I had to give some props to skype. Prior to yesterday I had heard bits and pieces of headlines about skype and internet communication but didn't really know what it was, or why I would need it. But then... I downloaded it...
Almost four years ago I went to Orlando for a weekend to meet Michelle Akers. Well that was the original intention, but I ended up learning a ton and meeting a bunch of good people. I kept in touch with a few after the big shindig.... but it can be difficult to maintain a friendship that's based off of a weekend years ago. However... somehow Ciara and I managed to be pretty good e-mail buddies while I lived vicariously through her multi-country living as we rehashed soccer, failed or unattempted relationships and navigating the "real world". Instant messenger was added to the mix in the last year but trying to connect time zones can be difficult when she's in canada or denmark. Basically, I've been keeping up with this chick for almost four years but haven't seen or "talked" to her since Orlando... until skype came to the rescue.
Skype allows you to make "phone calls" through your computer... free... or you can call from your computer to a phone cheap... I guess cell phones have limited the long distance calls we pay for because we stick to free nights and weekends or the "in" network... but I might be skype's newest fan if nothing else but for cheap international calls with friends met randomly four years ago. Do you think I could get an endorsement deal?
Almost four years ago I went to Orlando for a weekend to meet Michelle Akers. Well that was the original intention, but I ended up learning a ton and meeting a bunch of good people. I kept in touch with a few after the big shindig.... but it can be difficult to maintain a friendship that's based off of a weekend years ago. However... somehow Ciara and I managed to be pretty good e-mail buddies while I lived vicariously through her multi-country living as we rehashed soccer, failed or unattempted relationships and navigating the "real world". Instant messenger was added to the mix in the last year but trying to connect time zones can be difficult when she's in canada or denmark. Basically, I've been keeping up with this chick for almost four years but haven't seen or "talked" to her since Orlando... until skype came to the rescue.
Skype allows you to make "phone calls" through your computer... free... or you can call from your computer to a phone cheap... I guess cell phones have limited the long distance calls we pay for because we stick to free nights and weekends or the "in" network... but I might be skype's newest fan if nothing else but for cheap international calls with friends met randomly four years ago. Do you think I could get an endorsement deal?
Friday, March 24, 2006
the in-between moments
When I interviewed Cameron Crowe late last year, he told me that "life is in the in-between moments."
He was talking about the moments, as depicted in many of his films, where characters will simply look at one another without saying anything. Where there are no distractions, nothing to get in the way of simple human existence. The in-between moments are the moments where nothing seems to happen.
Modern life has become a constant, unending stream of information and activity. PDAs, cell phones, laptops, text messages, GPS, MP3 players, wifi, RSS news aggregators... Industry has perfected the art of finding ever-quickening means of gathering new information. Do we ever slow down enough to absorb any of it?
Life blurs past us because we take on too many responsibilities or try to be too many things to too many different people, and each day must be filled with more activities than the last. That's not living. That's running.
When was the last time you sat with a friend or family member in pure silence, and just absorbed their presence? When was the last time an embrace substituted for an entire conversation? When was the last time you ate a meal and took the time to savor it? When was the last time you sat still long enough to hear God's voice?
Don't miss those in-between moments. Seek them out. Life will find you there.
- Robin Parrish
He was talking about the moments, as depicted in many of his films, where characters will simply look at one another without saying anything. Where there are no distractions, nothing to get in the way of simple human existence. The in-between moments are the moments where nothing seems to happen.
Modern life has become a constant, unending stream of information and activity. PDAs, cell phones, laptops, text messages, GPS, MP3 players, wifi, RSS news aggregators... Industry has perfected the art of finding ever-quickening means of gathering new information. Do we ever slow down enough to absorb any of it?
Life blurs past us because we take on too many responsibilities or try to be too many things to too many different people, and each day must be filled with more activities than the last. That's not living. That's running.
When was the last time you sat with a friend or family member in pure silence, and just absorbed their presence? When was the last time an embrace substituted for an entire conversation? When was the last time you ate a meal and took the time to savor it? When was the last time you sat still long enough to hear God's voice?
Don't miss those in-between moments. Seek them out. Life will find you there.
- Robin Parrish
Sunday, March 19, 2006
random chaos
I'm in a random mood so here comes some junk you probably could have lived your life without, but maybe it'll help you pick the winning lottery numbers... and then I only request 10%...
1. Candace Parker dunked twice in a game today. Fourth woman to dunk in a college game, first woman to dunk in a NCAA tournament game, and first woman to dunk twice in a game. I have mixed feelings about the dunk. It drives me insane when some people write off women's basketball because there isn't dunking... I don't think the sport needs it to be entertaining or competitive... I love that CP shocked everyone winning the McDonalds high school dunk competition two years ago and I love that people can stop bugging her about when she's going to dunk... she did it... twice... and it was sweet!
2. I was easily irritated this weekend... and I knew it. Who slows down at a green light just waiting for it to turn yellow... of course it does... and then slams on their brakes to stop for the yellow light even when they had plenty of time to keep going? Who opens their window a mile before the bridge toll only to freeze the rest of us out? Who says they're trying to see what something is and when I tell them they get mad? Who questions if a dvd will work in a dvd player because it has a hole in the middle (ok that one's not irritating as much as it is just funny)?
3. My computer has a bug in it. I don't know a lot about spyware/malware or whatever you're supposed to call it, but I think I've run every free software possible and have submitted myself to the techie gods of some forum to tell me how to remove the stupid thing. On the bright side my computer still works and I haven't lost any files so I should be grateful I only have to deal with security warnings and porn pop-ups right?
4. There are a bunch of first graders in viriginia who think I played basketball at the University of Tennessee... haha ok that one just makes my day!
5. I am currently tied for third in my office's tournament bracket challenge, however my future does not look bright as only 5 of my predicted elite 8 are remaining with plenty of opportunities for upsets between now and then. Go Zags!
6. I read a bulletin about this kid that was in love with his best friend and never told her because he thought she didn't think of him like that. She got married and then passed away... at her funeral he found out she had written a journal in high school or something about how she loved him but didn't think he felt the same way. I suppose it's trying to tell you to lay it all out there... and in that case it's pretty obvious to see they should have done that... but where's the bulletin about the kid that told his/her best friend and then their friendship was all weirded out or they tried to date and everything ended in a mess. I think it's a good story... but I don't think we can forget the alternate endings.
7. I have barely more than a month to get in shape for that highly anticipated alumni game at methco. Before Chris threatens my life... yes I'm running... is it pretty... no... but I think I needed an excuse to get moving. (Thank goodness the girl scout cookies have finally been eaten and removed from storefronts across America!)
8. I was going to try to go to 12 because I like that number and it felt like an even dozen... but I'm getting lengthy and running out of wit... if I even had any to start with. I hope you have a great week...
1. Candace Parker dunked twice in a game today. Fourth woman to dunk in a college game, first woman to dunk in a NCAA tournament game, and first woman to dunk twice in a game. I have mixed feelings about the dunk. It drives me insane when some people write off women's basketball because there isn't dunking... I don't think the sport needs it to be entertaining or competitive... I love that CP shocked everyone winning the McDonalds high school dunk competition two years ago and I love that people can stop bugging her about when she's going to dunk... she did it... twice... and it was sweet!
2. I was easily irritated this weekend... and I knew it. Who slows down at a green light just waiting for it to turn yellow... of course it does... and then slams on their brakes to stop for the yellow light even when they had plenty of time to keep going? Who opens their window a mile before the bridge toll only to freeze the rest of us out? Who says they're trying to see what something is and when I tell them they get mad? Who questions if a dvd will work in a dvd player because it has a hole in the middle (ok that one's not irritating as much as it is just funny)?
3. My computer has a bug in it. I don't know a lot about spyware/malware or whatever you're supposed to call it, but I think I've run every free software possible and have submitted myself to the techie gods of some forum to tell me how to remove the stupid thing. On the bright side my computer still works and I haven't lost any files so I should be grateful I only have to deal with security warnings and porn pop-ups right?
4. There are a bunch of first graders in viriginia who think I played basketball at the University of Tennessee... haha ok that one just makes my day!
5. I am currently tied for third in my office's tournament bracket challenge, however my future does not look bright as only 5 of my predicted elite 8 are remaining with plenty of opportunities for upsets between now and then. Go Zags!
6. I read a bulletin about this kid that was in love with his best friend and never told her because he thought she didn't think of him like that. She got married and then passed away... at her funeral he found out she had written a journal in high school or something about how she loved him but didn't think he felt the same way. I suppose it's trying to tell you to lay it all out there... and in that case it's pretty obvious to see they should have done that... but where's the bulletin about the kid that told his/her best friend and then their friendship was all weirded out or they tried to date and everything ended in a mess. I think it's a good story... but I don't think we can forget the alternate endings.
7. I have barely more than a month to get in shape for that highly anticipated alumni game at methco. Before Chris threatens my life... yes I'm running... is it pretty... no... but I think I needed an excuse to get moving. (Thank goodness the girl scout cookies have finally been eaten and removed from storefronts across America!)
8. I was going to try to go to 12 because I like that number and it felt like an even dozen... but I'm getting lengthy and running out of wit... if I even had any to start with. I hope you have a great week...
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