warriors

Not to let this blog become a complete shoutout to tv... but to take a break from one tree hill, I watch army wives. Most people here in Fayetteville... or I guess the army in general aren't thrilled with the inaccuracies portrayed through the show, but I don't really watch the show for an army lesson just like I didn't watch Pocahontas for a history lesson.

There's been a developing storyline around a soldier who lost his legs. He returned to Ft. Army Wives to speak to other "warriors in transition." I admit, I'm a sucker for the inspirational, contemplative soliloquy but I really liked Mac's thoughts...

"You know what they say, you want to make God laugh tell him your plans. On May 2, at about 2 in the afternoon I had to let go of most of my plans, because most of my plans involved me having legs. Letting go, that's what this is mostly about. The first thing you gotta let go of is worrying about stuff you can't control. What happened, happened. So take a deep breath, this is your new reality. Whatever anger and frustration, you gotta let go of that too. There's no reverse button on our lives. If there was, I would go back to May 2nd, I would do it different. But I can't. It isn't going to be easy because your brain is going to want keep trying to steer you off course like some stubborn horse that don't want to stay on the trail. But the really important things, those get clearer in your head. I mean it. Whatever junk you thought you needed to make your life worthwhile, that goes away. Life gets a lot more basic and a lot richer. Now the coming months… it's scary man I won't tell you it isn't. Small changes can be scary and this ain't small. It's like you started out as one person, but a thing like this it changes you and this whole new person starts to form, but until you let go you'll never realize your full potential. So that's it. All of this here in this room, we were given a special challenge and what I have to keep believing is that special challenges allow for something special to float to the surface… something that I may never have known about myself if may 2nd 2 pm hadn't happened. It's all about letting go of what could've been and only holding on to the things that really matter."



Most of us will never lose a limb... but maybe there's something else we've had to let go. It can be difficult to find the good in it... keep looking... keep fighting.

secrets

So I'm four years late, but I was just clued into postsecret.com (thanks kelsey :)People send their secrets on postcards to this random guy who posts them on his blog. He's written books and now he's even traveling to college campuses with a show all about everyone else's secrets.

Some are funny...


and some make me cry...


But it just really makes me wonder about the people who are sending the secrets. I think we all have secrets and most of us have at least someone to share them with. But postsecret.com seems to be for those who either have no one to share with or the secrets are so secret they can't be shared with even the people they trust the most.

Just the word "secret" brings a lot of different thoughts... there's oprah's crazy fix on the book and movie, "the secret" where if you believe it, it will happen. There's victoria's secret for your shopping fix. There's secret deoderant that hopefully makes us smell good. And then there's good old fashioned webster's definition 1 a: kept from knowledge or view b: marked by the habit of discretion c: working with hidden aims or methods d: not acknowledged e: conducted in secret.

If postsecret.com helps people share their secrets in a way that relieves guilt or temptation or pain then I'm all for it. There's still a part of me that hopes we can all find someone to trust.... someone to spill our guts to.... someone who will listen without judgment... someone who will cry with us and laugh with us... and even someone who can knock some sense into us when we've lost touch with reality.

Thank you to those of you who let me share my secrets.

deborah

When I graduated high school my mom and I went to the bank so I could start a checking account and she put her name on the account so she could make deposits from maryland while I was in college. (She probably wanted to keep an eye on my spending as well but whatever.)

Eight years later and her name is still on the account but I took her off my checks and everything. Today I went to deposit some money through the drive-thru and after the teller sent my receipt back through the tube, she asked "deborah would you like to try online banking?" I was speechless for a second while I tried to figure out why the heck she called me deborah. I eventually realized she saw the two names on the account and assumed I couldn't possibly be kirbie since kirbie is such a masculine name... Thanks. I must be deborah.