Sometimes I'm not the best at putting the thoughts in my head or feelings from my heart into words. In the last two weeks I have lost two friends... neither was a best friend and there is a lot about both that I didn't know and wouldn't claim to, but I miss both of them. One man was 24 and the other was 79... at 24, Gene's death probably created more shock and questions while Mr. Lee at 79 was admired for his long, productive life. Both men were very different, but just the fact that I have to use the past tense shows one too many similarities. Neither loss is any less significant to the people that knew them. I don't have any answers for the why's or any big sweeping gestures to fill the space that has been left behind. I do have hope that the rest of us can live life big enough to make them proud.
On the other end of the loss spectrum... Oprah did a special with Elie Wiesel at Auschwitz today. I don't think any of us can truly comprehend the loss that occurred during the Holocaust. Even bigger than the number of lives lost during the Holocaust (more than 5 million Jews) are the lessons we can take away from the unthinkable tragedy. Wiesel has said "The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference." Let's not be indifferent. Step up and step out. It is so easy to run our lives with blinders on... naive, ignorant and indifferent to the world around us. We have more to give... we have more to be...
To those who lost their lives
We Remember
To those who survived
We Hear You
To the next generations
We Must Never Forget
- the oprah show
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
it's about time
I've been anxiously waiting to share... but I just accepted a position at MethCo as the sports info director starting august 1st. Three years ago no one would have believed I would be moving back to Fayettenam (myself included), but time and space away from it all has helped me appreciate it for what it is. The SID position is not the most glamorous job in the world, but after a year of waiting and trying to trust that I would find a job in sports, I might actually be able to put that master's degree to use. I'm excited to get back to MethCo and I'm hoping I can help clean up some things. I have a feeling I'm going to be working a lot, but I still have some friends and family in the NC area and it'll be good to catch up. At the same time I know I'm going to be leaving a lot behind. Despite the living with the parents and the not working in sports and the lack of activity on the shore... I am so glad I came back home after UT... if nothing else then to be in three weddings and meet two new babies. Distance can't take away those memories... and I can't wait for everyone to road trip it to NC now. I've learned a lot about patience and that God's timing is perfect.
In the meantime I'm going to be spending the summer at Ridgecrest, NC and Glorieta, NM working some camps. My last day at Inter-Rail is June 1st and while I'll miss the people and maybe even the safety of it all... I'm excited about what's coming next. I've been sitting for a long time just being comfortable and I'm ready to get up and move.
"It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to." - Marilyn Ferguson
In the meantime I'm going to be spending the summer at Ridgecrest, NC and Glorieta, NM working some camps. My last day at Inter-Rail is June 1st and while I'll miss the people and maybe even the safety of it all... I'm excited about what's coming next. I've been sitting for a long time just being comfortable and I'm ready to get up and move.
"It's not so much that we're afraid of change or so in love with the old ways, but it's that place in between that we fear . . . . It's like being between trapezes. It's Linus when his blanket is in the dryer. There's nothing to hold on to." - Marilyn Ferguson
Friday, May 5, 2006
real to me
Nichole Nordeman has a new radio single from her album Brave called Real to Me... I don't own the record and I didn't gravitate to the song at first... probably a little too bubble gum pop... but then I read her inspiration for the song and I gained a greater appreciation for the meaning behind the song...
"This song was, in the truest sense, an evolution.... I lost track of the number of re-writes, title changes, melody transformations and re-structuring that took place during the writing of it. It started with a series of late night phone calls with my good friend, Jill...which were a rare treat.
Jill started telling me about this tension she'd recognized in her life. There seemed to be this giant disconnect, she'd noticed, between how meaningful and inspirational Christian books/music/Bible study/church services can bebut how irrelevant all that seems in real life. It's like when you walk out of your church on Sunday morning (regardless of how you felt inside) and back into the sameness of your everyday, the genie disappears back into the bottle somehow, or at least that's how it feels. This totally made sense to me. I've even felt that way walking off stage after a concertknowing that God had done something really special in the room, and somehow just wondering if the evening would really change anything or anyone for real. Even worse, some nights I care more about what after-show food will be on the bus than I do about any lasting spiritual impact on anybody. Sorry, the ugly truth.
We talked for hours over the course of several days about how some days we just feel like hollering up to God Listen. I really appreciate all the stuff that's being written, and spoken, and sung about youit's great, really. but just for one minute, could you be really REAL to me? Jill ended up reading these beautiful passages and entire chapters out of Brennan Manning's Lion and the Lamb book to me, until I could locate my own dusty copy, and then we read together. All of these wonderful late night talks, and longings, found their way into this hopeful song. It means a lot to both of us."
Lyrics to Real to Me...
(Nichole Nordeman, Jill Tomalty, Jay Joyce)
Every time I try to find you
Every road comes back around
Just another hoop to jump through
Another mile of covered ground
I am weary of the answers
More theory and cliché
They raise the letter of the law like a banner
Til youre small and far away
All the questions in my head
Are from my heart instead
Be real to me now
Thats all Im asking
Be real to me now
Every scribe and every scholar
No winners in this debate
Everybody seems to stand up taller
When youre easy to explain
I dont need to know what I dont know
Just got to let it go
Be real to me now
Thats all Im asking
Be real somehow
More than anything
More than anything
So lay down the sword
And put away the doctrine
Love a little more, love a little more
Cause everybodys broken
"This song was, in the truest sense, an evolution.... I lost track of the number of re-writes, title changes, melody transformations and re-structuring that took place during the writing of it. It started with a series of late night phone calls with my good friend, Jill...which were a rare treat.
Jill started telling me about this tension she'd recognized in her life. There seemed to be this giant disconnect, she'd noticed, between how meaningful and inspirational Christian books/music/Bible study/church services can bebut how irrelevant all that seems in real life. It's like when you walk out of your church on Sunday morning (regardless of how you felt inside) and back into the sameness of your everyday, the genie disappears back into the bottle somehow, or at least that's how it feels. This totally made sense to me. I've even felt that way walking off stage after a concertknowing that God had done something really special in the room, and somehow just wondering if the evening would really change anything or anyone for real. Even worse, some nights I care more about what after-show food will be on the bus than I do about any lasting spiritual impact on anybody. Sorry, the ugly truth.
We talked for hours over the course of several days about how some days we just feel like hollering up to God Listen. I really appreciate all the stuff that's being written, and spoken, and sung about youit's great, really. but just for one minute, could you be really REAL to me? Jill ended up reading these beautiful passages and entire chapters out of Brennan Manning's Lion and the Lamb book to me, until I could locate my own dusty copy, and then we read together. All of these wonderful late night talks, and longings, found their way into this hopeful song. It means a lot to both of us."
Lyrics to Real to Me...
(Nichole Nordeman, Jill Tomalty, Jay Joyce)
Every time I try to find you
Every road comes back around
Just another hoop to jump through
Another mile of covered ground
I am weary of the answers
More theory and cliché
They raise the letter of the law like a banner
Til youre small and far away
All the questions in my head
Are from my heart instead
Be real to me now
Thats all Im asking
Be real to me now
Every scribe and every scholar
No winners in this debate
Everybody seems to stand up taller
When youre easy to explain
I dont need to know what I dont know
Just got to let it go
Be real to me now
Thats all Im asking
Be real somehow
More than anything
More than anything
So lay down the sword
And put away the doctrine
Love a little more, love a little more
Cause everybodys broken
Thursday, May 4, 2006
weekend
Some day I'm going to write a book. And I'm going to include some classic events from this past weekend. I would try to describe it for you now, but I think I need some time and space from it to really capture the true insanity of it all. I will suggest that if a kid (I should note that I use the term "kid" loosely to describe males regardless of their age) starts belting the Canadian national anthem in the middle of a restaurant while eating with your parents or if he calls your dad an old geezer... probably not a good sign. It's all about learning from the experience right?
Big props to the Riley/Takata/Busby (yeah phone support was huge) fam for accompanying me and making the weekend that much more bearable. I still question whether I ever should have left chili's friday night... but the story might make the experience that much more worthwhile.
And thanks to Ciara for letting me earn my cafe wings all on my own! I think I'm going into retirement now!
Positive note... we did take a tour of wo-me-to and I miss it. I owe so much of who I am to my experiences at that camp. I spent ten summers there and amidst some tears, crutches and mini-drama I learned a ton about God, myself and found the best friends I could ever dream of... Some day when I strike it rich from my book deal or perhaps the winning lotto ticket, I'm going to buy the whole camp and everyone can come visit... but I will be taking the air conditioning out of the cabins, putting an orange cone over the rock that tore ligaments in my toes, keeping the chapel unlocked for visitors, installing new benches around the lake/pond for candlelight (no more pool-side service), constructing a permanent mexican market, removing any sign of bees from the counselor's pool deck, playing music over miss sandra's sound system 24-7 (with a slight upgrade from amy grant and michael w. smith to david crowder and shawn mcdonald-esque music), and keeping the plastic covers on all of the bunk beds to allow guests to experience sleep loss from 9 year old girls rolling around on plastic. Maybe I should start a fund for donations...
Big props to the Riley/Takata/Busby (yeah phone support was huge) fam for accompanying me and making the weekend that much more bearable. I still question whether I ever should have left chili's friday night... but the story might make the experience that much more worthwhile.
And thanks to Ciara for letting me earn my cafe wings all on my own! I think I'm going into retirement now!
Positive note... we did take a tour of wo-me-to and I miss it. I owe so much of who I am to my experiences at that camp. I spent ten summers there and amidst some tears, crutches and mini-drama I learned a ton about God, myself and found the best friends I could ever dream of... Some day when I strike it rich from my book deal or perhaps the winning lotto ticket, I'm going to buy the whole camp and everyone can come visit... but I will be taking the air conditioning out of the cabins, putting an orange cone over the rock that tore ligaments in my toes, keeping the chapel unlocked for visitors, installing new benches around the lake/pond for candlelight (no more pool-side service), constructing a permanent mexican market, removing any sign of bees from the counselor's pool deck, playing music over miss sandra's sound system 24-7 (with a slight upgrade from amy grant and michael w. smith to david crowder and shawn mcdonald-esque music), and keeping the plastic covers on all of the bunk beds to allow guests to experience sleep loss from 9 year old girls rolling around on plastic. Maybe I should start a fund for donations...
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