I said YES

I keep trying to come up with adequate words to describe last Friday, and it all falls flat. I may not be a “girly girl,” but I have always wanted to get married. I wanted to experience a love like that… I wanted to find “the one.” I’ve waited longer than many, but not as long as some… and along the way I’ve imagined what Friday would look like… what it would feel like. I wrote an entire blog about it when I didn’t even have a boyfriend. I’ve watched hundreds of proposal videos, but once I knew it would be Steve, I never wanted to put any pressure on him. I never wanted him to feel like he couldn’t live up to these crazy expectations I had. Everyone warned me that no one would be able to live up to them…

And yet Steve surpassed every expectation I had. He planned for months, he got a ton of people involved and he orchestrated the perfect proposal for me. I couldn’t have asked for anything more and I can’t wait to marry him!

Steve and I are so grateful for all of the people who have been so supportive of our relationship. It’s been nearly impossible to respond to everyone over the last few days and share our story so I’m giving you the cliffnotes via all the FAQ I keep getting.

Q: Were you surprised?

A:  Absolutely. Steve and I had talked about getting married since August, and I knew he was going to propose, but I had no idea when it would happen. He wanted to ask my dad’s permission and I wasn’t sure when he was going to do that since he’s in North Carolina and my dad’s in Maryland. I had just seen Steve the weekend before and he led me to believe he hadn’t talked to my dad yet so I had spent the week complaining to my friends and family and I was getting antsy (meanwhile he had driven up to MD without me knowing and asked my dad almost a month earlier!). I knew Steve was driving to Maryland on Friday to spend the weekend with my family for my dad’s birthday, but I didn’t think he was getting here until much later.

Q: How did they get you to the stadium?

A: My dad had told me a couple weeks ago that he had won a fan tour of Ravens stadium for being a season ticket holder. He has always wanted to find a way to get on the field and he was so excited (I’m still convinced he was more excited for the tour than the proposal!). He told me he was taking off work and asked if I could leave work early to get there for a 3 p.m. tour. My boss had been out of the office for a couple of weeks and was just coming back the day before so I wasn’t sure I could swing it, but I thought it would be a good way to spend time with my dad to start his birthday weekend. I wasn’t too worried about the tour since I had just gone to the Ravens’ “Ladies Night” that Monday, but it seemed like everyone was adamant that I go. I finally got the nerve to ask my boss if I could leave early and he gave me the okay just as Steve and everyone else who was in on the proposal breathed a big sigh of relief!

Q: And then??

A: This woman was giving us our tour and I felt kind of bad for her because I didn’t think she was the greatest tour guide. We made it out to the field and were hanging out on one of the benches and she said, “Since you guys are extra special guests, you get to take your picture on the 50 yard line!” Meanwhile, I’m thinking we’re not that special, because everyone was taking pictures there on Monday night, but we walk out there. It felt kind of silly, but I’m thinking we’ll appreciate this cute family picture later. We had to do some reorganizing to get Kelsie and Barton next to each other and I had the familiar thought that I wished Steve could have come so I didn’t have to be the awkward fifth wheel in another family photo (no offense to my four month old nephew, Andrew). The tour guide says, “There’s just something missing… I think we need a football.” It sounded super cheesy and Barton made a joke, but I felt bad for her and I didn’t want my dad to feel like he got gypped on this tour so I’m trying to rationalize why we need to take another picture with a football. I’m thinking she’s up to something, but I legitimately think it’s a surprise for my dad since he won this tour. And then I turn around and Steve is coming out of the tunnel. I started walking toward him, and then I turned around to my family and said, “I hoped this would happen!” Not that I thought I was getting engaged that day, but I really did want to get engaged and I really wanted Steve to be there and the combination of both things happening at once were exploding in my head! As I was walking toward him, I was thinking, “Oh no, I hope he didn’t want to do this in the middle of the field, because that’s going to be awkward to walk back!” Meanwhile he had told my family if I didn’t start walking toward him, to move out of the way because he didn’t want them crowding him and making him nervous.

Q: When you saw him, did you know he was going to propose?

A: I was desperately trying not to assume, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was really, really hoping! I tried to prepare myself for the fact that he might just be surprising me at the tour since I didn’t think he could come. But then he was shaking and rambling and I knew!

Q: What did he say?

A: I have NO idea! He said some really nice things about forever and I mumbled something about absolutely. My family asked him what he said and he doesn’t have a clue either. My brain was going a mile and a minute and I realized I didn’t care what he said. He had told me everything I needed to hear over the last year for me to know how to answer.

Q: And then??

A: And then I said YES! He put a beautiful ring on my finger that I don’t know any of the details to share with you except it’s perfect and he had the inside engraved with, “Loving you is easy” from the Ben Rector songthat he had Mitch Clark sing for me a couple of months earlier. He topped off the day with a dinner with my parents, all my siblings, nephews, aunt and uncle, and my best friend and her husband. I didn’t feel like I was putting together any coherent sentences, but it was the perfect way to celebrate an amazing day.

Q: So when’s the wedding?

A: Good question. It is looking like May or June 2015.

Q: Who’s moving?

A: Another good question… that I don’t have the answer to. We agreed months ago that we would both be open to moving to find the best opportunity for us. I am fortunate that I have an amazing network of friends and family in NC from the nine previous years I spent there, but I’ve also worked hard to make sure Steve knew I was willing to share my MD friends and family if he were to move here. I am still researching a way for us to be in both places… at the same time.

Q: Wasn’t that fast?

A: I think it depends on your perspective. If we were 18, maybe. But we’re 32. If you’re judging our relationship on facebook posts, maybe. But we spent a lot of time figuring out our relationship before we ever shared anything on facebook. I will be the first to admit, Steve knew way before me, but this was a year in the making. I had lots of questions, lots of uncertainty early, but Steve waited for me to figure it out. I always knew how he felt, and I felt like God was slowly opening my heart. The distance was actually a blessing for us, because it tempered the time we could be together and let our relationship develop in the perfect amount of time for us, rather than the too much too soon that has sometimes plagued my previous relationships. Some kept waiting for me to freak out about my relationship with Steve and how fast things seemed to be moving, but once I knew, I knew. We’re not perfect, but this is it. I’m all in and he’s stuck with me!

don't stop learning...

Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know too much to learn something new. - Og Mandino 

We spend a good portion of our early years learning. We reach a certain age and our parents send us off to school for what seems like the next 50 years.. Most people usually go to college and more and more people are attending graduate school for to obtain even more degrees… more learning. 

There are some people who think they have learned everything before they have. It’s not always a conscious decision, but sometimes we finish school and think we’re done. Or we learn a new job and think we’ve made it. Or you raise one kid and think you’ve mastered it. 

Usually there’s a moment when you come back to reality. Hopefully it’s not so miserable, but sometimes it takes getting laid off or suffering through a broken relationship before we wake up. I love routine, but sometimes we fall into routine so easily, that we get comfortable and forget to stretch ourselves. There is always something to learn. I can always learn to be better at what I love, and I can learn to love something new. Imagine how much you would have missed out on had you stopped learning at 18 or even 25. 

Sometimes we become too hardheaded to open our minds to something different. We grow up learning something one way and can’t grasp a different way. I’m not making an argument for Common Core and their crazy math, but I think it is okay to change our minds. I suppose the extreme of this would be to give up everything we know to be true in search of the latest and greatest fad. I don’t want to appear lukewarm or uncommitted, but I do want to keep an open mind. I want to always seek truth. There are people who were adamant that the earth was flat or that people of a different race were not equal. They really believed it, but that doesn’t mean they were any less wrong.  

A former student e-mailed me recently to update me on her job search. She has a job, but she's looking for something in a different career field. She’s been finding positions she likes and taking notes about the skills she’s lacking. We’ve been talking about how to get the experience and/or learn the skills she needs. It sounds simple, but how often do we just limit our searches to our skills and experience rather than choosing to learn something new so we can expand our search? 

On Sunday, I saw an older couple baptized. Forget about the denominational debate about baptism for a minute and check out their story. Their son has cancer, but as the couple watched their son and his wife deal with the cancer and draw their strength from God, the couple was strengthened and wanted that same thing. I can’t imagine watching your son struggle with cancer, but it was so moving for me to see a couple who decided they weren’t too old to change their minds about their faith. I have no idea how old they are, but despite being “over the hill,” they are still learning. 

So sign up for that class. Apply for the job that seems out of reach. Try something new. Ask the question. Read the book. Watch the documentary. Keep learning.