I haven't written in forever. Two of my loyal readers deserted myspace and I think there was a part of me wondering what's the point. At the same time, I think it's still healthy for me to write... whether it's necessary for me to write it in "public" for you to read I haven't decided... in the meantime here's some healthy babble.
I have this thing for the tv show "one tree hill." Most people can't stand it. It premiered around the same time as "the o.c." and "the o.c." received most of the fans and notoriety but while I followed "the o.c." I've always felt more connected to "one tree hill." I lost some of you already by trying to convince you a person could (or should) connect to a television show... but hear me out. Some of the story lines are far fetched... some have been frustrating and others have been trashy. At the same time, I love it when a character expresses him/herself because it feels honest. Peyton started out as this dark, troubled girl who expressed herself only through her drawings or music. Lucas was the outcast of his school and basketball team trying to find his place all while writing everything down. I'm not sure how realistic it all is but Lucas has shared some awesome quotes from writers while Peyton's exposed me to some great new music over the years.
Lucas and Peyton have had some ups and downs but I feel like sometimes they just say what I couldn't figure out how to say... or sometimes they just remind me that I need to express myself rather than let it stay bottled up inside. Some people find life imitates art while others think art imitates life. I just appreciate the opportunity to see a glimpse of someone or something I needed at that particular moment in this real life I live so far away from the television screen.
"The thing is there is never a time when you will be more honest, and your convictions will be stronger, and your motives will be more pure than they are right now. Which means you should chase whatever excites you. Be confident, and take risks, and paint over my words so you can start writing your own. My story may have inspired you, but I'm certain your story will inspire the next girl to live in our room. I want you to know you don't need somebody to write about you in order for your life to mean something. You can write about yourself… make your own destiny. Then years from now the next girl will keep what you write on that door long enough to remind you how inspired your life is. And you can tell that girl to paint over the door because you realize the words you wrote, the friends you had, the urgency you felt will always be there under the paint. The love you professed will always be there, the spark of something undeniable, a seed of hope, the truth for better or for worse burning fiercely just below the surface."
"I was reminded today in a roundabout way that the most perfect act of love is sacrifice. That's what Keith did for Karen. Burying his feelings for all those years so he could be a good friend. I didn't come here to rehash the past. Lucas I love you and it is gonna suck but if what you really want is for me to let go then Im gonna do it. Be happy Luke. I want that with all my heart."
