Another Father's Day is here when I'm not with my dad. Between living in North Carolina and the proximity of the holiday to Memorial Day makes it hard to make another trip north. The last couple of years I've tried to make up for it with a trip to an Orioles game later in the summer. I made the weekly call home today and let a card and a phone call stand in for my absence.
I think my dad and I have grown a lot together, especially over the last 10 years. My dad shows love through actions. I can't remember the last time he told me he loved me. A hug is usually slightly awkward and only a few times a year when I leave to go back to NC or he leaves to go back to MD. I've learned a lot through him and I pray someday my kids are complaining I smothered them with affection.
While my dad doesn't express his feelings often, he would drop everything if I needed him. During my freshman year of high school he was essentially my personal chauffeur and carted my friends back from games and practices all over the shore. He is almost 70, usually in some kind of pain and still insisted on changing the oil and spark plug on my lawn mower when he came to visit. He's never really said so, but I know he's proud of my career and checks the website every day for news even after Kelsie graduated and he knows no one I'm writing about. We have always connected through his love for sports and whether it was playing sports growing up or cheering for the Ravens and Orioles now, I love sharing the experience with him.
When I was growing up I felt smothered by his rules, judged by his temper and insecure of my place in his world... but I don't think I understood him. I still don't agree with everything he says and I'm sure he'll continue to drive me crazy, but I am so grateful for his presence in my life and the lessons he has taught me. I hope I've learned discipline from his rules, patience from his temper and self-confidence in the long run. If nothing else, I know I'm loved.
Happy Father's Day!
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