asking for help...

I'm not very good at asking for help. I'm sure a psychologist could thoroughly analyze my childhood to figure out why, but regardless I'm independent. I'd like to think I'm more willing to accept help when offered, but really I want to do it by myself. Sometimes I think owning a home has made me even more independent. I've had family, friends and the occasional boyfriend help me out over the last four years of home ownership, but no one here to consistently help when I need a ceiling fan installed or the bushes trimmed.

Sometimes I'm reminded I can't do it on my own and have to rely on the experts. While I think I've mastered ceiling fan replacement, I thought I should seek some help for recessed lights. Not long after, I  learned quickly I would need some expert help with the air conditioning in my house. Unfortunately the "experts" aren't really working on my timeline and I'm stuck with no air conditioning during one of the hottest weekends of the year. Temperatures outside exceeding 100 degrees had my house at 90. I'm not even a fan of air conditioning and didn't turn it on until June 19th, but I was beginning to question my ability to get through this one on my own. I had a couple different offers for places I could stay, but I think if I just had a tent I would be cooler in the backyard and I wouldn't have to depend on anyone else. When the thermostat was still reading 90 at 9:45 pm I decided I couldn't do it anymore and had to take up a friend on her offer.

Asking for help is super humbling. I always want people to let me help them, but have trouble accepting their offer. I have to acknowledge I can't do it on my own and I always feel like I'm inconveniencing or annoying someone. I have to accept if someone really didn't want me to accept their offer, they shouldn't have offered. I am forever grateful for those around me who continue to support me and offer help even when I don't want it but especially when I just need a place to sleep in sub-90 degree heat.