asking for help...

I'm not very good at asking for help. I'm sure a psychologist could thoroughly analyze my childhood to figure out why, but regardless I'm independent. I'd like to think I'm more willing to accept help when offered, but really I want to do it by myself. Sometimes I think owning a home has made me even more independent. I've had family, friends and the occasional boyfriend help me out over the last four years of home ownership, but no one here to consistently help when I need a ceiling fan installed or the bushes trimmed.

Sometimes I'm reminded I can't do it on my own and have to rely on the experts. While I think I've mastered ceiling fan replacement, I thought I should seek some help for recessed lights. Not long after, I  learned quickly I would need some expert help with the air conditioning in my house. Unfortunately the "experts" aren't really working on my timeline and I'm stuck with no air conditioning during one of the hottest weekends of the year. Temperatures outside exceeding 100 degrees had my house at 90. I'm not even a fan of air conditioning and didn't turn it on until June 19th, but I was beginning to question my ability to get through this one on my own. I had a couple different offers for places I could stay, but I think if I just had a tent I would be cooler in the backyard and I wouldn't have to depend on anyone else. When the thermostat was still reading 90 at 9:45 pm I decided I couldn't do it anymore and had to take up a friend on her offer.

Asking for help is super humbling. I always want people to let me help them, but have trouble accepting their offer. I have to acknowledge I can't do it on my own and I always feel like I'm inconveniencing or annoying someone. I have to accept if someone really didn't want me to accept their offer, they shouldn't have offered. I am forever grateful for those around me who continue to support me and offer help even when I don't want it but especially when I just need a place to sleep in sub-90 degree heat.

laugh of the week...

standing for courage...

Last fall the movie Courageous was released as Sherwood Films' fourth film behind Flywheel, Facing the Giants and Fireproof. The movies have always had strong themes and messages while the production can sometimes be questionable. I think Courageous was probably the closest to a typical Hollywood film in terms of production, not that it seems to matter to me. I sobbed regardless!

Without giving away the entire movie, the tagline is: "When a tragedy strikes close to home, four police officers struggle with their faith and their roles as husbands and fathers; together they make a decision that will change all of their lives." The movie centers around the men as they make a resolution to change.

My pastor spent time last week and this week with messages to fathers. Today was centered around the passage in Joshua 24 where verse 15 wraps up, "But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Pastor Cook reminded us of the short term memory the Israelites seemed to struggle with and noted how Joshua stepped away from speaking for the people and made it personal, taking a stand for his family. He wrapped up with a clip from the movie Courageous when the main character makes a plea to the men in his church. Pastor Cook then invited men to stand and make the resolution. He assured anyone who needed to take it home and process the information would not be judged or looked down upon, but after his invitation, it seemed as if most men were signing on to his request. Most, if not all the men stood up and repeated "The Resolution" after Pastor Cook.

I love the message in the movie and I love the message behind "The Resolution." I pray every day I find a man with such resolve to take a stand and be a Godly leader of my family. Normally my fear is people who won't take a stand. A popular saying goes, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." It's easy to sit back and watch everything pass us by without standing. It takes courage to stand. At the same time, the reverse could be true. Sometimes people stand just because everyone else stands and never actually make a change. I think a resolution requires action beyond standing. I know standing is the first step, but it's more difficult to stay seated in a room full of standing men, than it is to stand up when everyone else is sitting down. I guess it just felt so fast. I wanted everyone to see the whole movie... to understand what they were agreeing to... to buy into the whole message rather than just signing up out of peer pressure or obligation.

Let's continue to stand up for Christ. Let's continue to stand up for positive change. But let's also make sure that stand of courage turns into action of resolve.




"The Resolution"

I DO solemnly resolve before God to take full responsibility for myself, my wife, and my children.

I WILL love them, protect them, serve them, and teach them the Word of God as the spiritual leader of my home.

I WILL be faithful to my wife, to love and honor her, and be willing to lay down my life for her as Jesus Christ did for me.

I WILL bless my children and teach them to love God with all of their hearts, all of their minds, and all of their strength.

I WILL train them to honor authority and live responsibly.

I WILL confront evil, pursue justice, and love mercy.

I WILL pray for others and treat them with kindness respect, and compassion.

I WILL work diligently to provide for the needs of my family.

I WILL forgive those who have wronged me and reconcile with those I have wronged.

I WILL learn from my mistakes, repent of my sins, and walk with integrity as a man answerable to God.

I WILL seek to honor God, be faithful to His church, obey His Word, and do His will.

I WILL courageously work with the strength God provides to fulfill this resolution for the rest of my life and for His glory.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. – Joshua 24:15

laugh of the week...

I'm not sure it's good to encourage laughing at your kid's expense... but just in case it's okay, enjoy some Jimmy Kimmel.

lessons from dad...

Another Father's Day is here when I'm not with my dad. Between living in North Carolina and the proximity of the holiday to Memorial Day makes it hard to make another trip north. The last couple of years I've tried to make up for it with a trip to an Orioles game later in the summer. I made the weekly call home today and let a card and a phone call stand in for my absence.

I think my dad and I have grown a lot together, especially over the last 10 years. My dad shows love through actions. I can't remember the last time he told me he loved me. A hug is usually slightly awkward and only a few times a year when I leave to go back to NC or he leaves to go back to MD. I've learned a lot through him and I pray someday my kids are complaining I smothered them with affection. 

While my dad doesn't express his feelings often, he would drop everything if I needed him. During my freshman year of high school he was essentially my personal chauffeur and carted my friends back from games and practices all over the shore. He is almost 70, usually in some kind of pain and still insisted on changing the oil and spark plug on my lawn mower when he came to visit. He's never really said so, but I know he's proud of my career and checks the website every day for news even after Kelsie graduated and he knows no one I'm writing about. We have always connected through his love for sports and whether it was playing sports growing up or cheering for the Ravens and Orioles now, I love sharing the experience with him. 

When I was growing up I felt smothered by his rules, judged by his temper and insecure of my place in his world... but I don't think I understood him. I still don't agree with everything he says and I'm sure he'll continue to drive me crazy, but I am so grateful for his presence in my life and the lessons he has taught me. I hope I've learned discipline from his rules, patience from his temper and self-confidence in the long run. If nothing else, I know I'm loved.

Happy Father's Day!

men and women...

One of my favorite bloggers's Bianca Juarez had Joy Eggerichs' guest blog last week and I didn't even get through the whole blog before I got stuck on a quote.

We asked over 7,000 people if in conflict they feel more unloved or disrespected?
83% of men said they felt more disrespected.
72% of women said they felt more unloved.

I immediately copied and pasted it on Facebook and no one seemed to care (aka no likes or comments). Of course it would be awesome if we could just eliminate conflict, but in the likely event we can't, it was the statistics that struck me. There are tons of books and research proving men and women are different, but I'm thinking those differences are even more apparent in conflict. We tend to communicate in the way we prefer and we address conflict in the same way.

It is affirming to know I'm not the only woman who fears being unloved. I'm sure there are situations when I've felt disrespected, but it doesn't define me like love does. The bigger question becomes what to do with the research?

Eggerichs suggests, "So, while I know I won’t be perfect and either will he…I’m making a choice in my singleness to be aware of how my husband is going to feel in conflict and the sensitivity he has to feeling like I really don’t 'like' him in conflict."

Awareness is crucial... ideally we might all feel loved and respected even dare I say in conflict.

laugh of the week...

I joined pinterest a few months ago and occasionally there's something on there that really makes me laugh...

subtweeting...

I've been wanting to vent about those who subtweet... otherwise known as tweeting to or about people without naming them. I feel like it would be much healthier to either direct your tweets to a person or don't tweet at all. Having a vent session about this mystery person doesn't seem to accomplish much. Perhaps we all need more diaries. I don't even think I'm the one being subtweeted about... perhaps I'm naive and in that case it proves my point you might need to be more direct.

On the other hand, I'm thinking it's probably hypocritical if I tweeted about all those subtweeting. I'm not sure I could fit all of the offenders into 140 characters so it would in effect be a subtweet. Instead I decided to blog about it. As a recommendation... subtweeting is clogging my feed.

laugh of the week...

Today I'm stealing borrowing a laugh courtesy of Jon Acuff. He's one of my favorite authors and keeps me laughing at the idiosyncrasies associated with Christians. You'll thank me later!

Stuff Christians Like #1211: Making sure everyone knows your fiance isn’t living with you.