learning from teaching...

I haven't been teaching for very long. My mom has been teaching for more than 30 years and I have friends who have been teaching for more than five years... all of them would probably have a lot more to add to this, but this is my limited perspective.

One of my favorite assignments (and probably one of my students' least favorite) is a personal assessment. In the beginning of the semester we learn about the seven components of wellness. The assessment requires each student to evaluate themselves within each component... their strengths and weaknesses. Sometimes I wish I could make them write it earlier because I learn so much about each of the students, but I have to wait until they learn all of the material.

My favorite component is the spiritual wellness component. I feel like college is such a pivotal time in someone's spiritual growth and perspective and I love learning more about where people are and where they've been. This semester I had a student write, "I find that most Christians are extremely contradictive in everything they say and do. They think they are better than you because they get up Sunday and go to church after getting completely wasted Saturday night."

There's always a huge debate when it comes to Christians and drinking and there are too many sides to count. Most of the time we look at an issue and try to determine whether it's right or wrong and then hopefully we choose the right way. I struggle when there are issues that no matter what I think about it being right or wrong, someone else might perceive it differently. My faith is the most important thing in my life and I would never want to turn someone else away from growing in their faith because I was being contradictory.

This isn't a blog with answers... but hopefully something that makes us think about how we affect everyone around us...

I hear it all the time, but sometimes you learn more from your students than they learn from you.

web tour...

Just some things I've been reading or listening to this week...

1. JillandKate's Song on the 17th... 

I'll leave you guessing on any personal meaning in this song. I'm afraid the wrong people could get the wrong idea, but if the right people always knew what you meant there wouldn't be a need for passive aggressive blogging would there?

2.Lindsey's Noble's blog on missing yourself... 

I have never met Lindsey and I'm not sure our paths will ever cross... but I feel like sometimes she's inside my head. I'm not missing myself currently, but I have definitely been there.

3. JillandKate at it again on getting Burned... 

This should be my theme blog... I love the analogy and even more than that I love the truth in it. I'm so grateful I didn't settle for straight hair and keep seeking our curls with or without the burn. 

4. Jon Acuff shares Joe Rogan's story... 

Ah the story! I could write a whole blog on this myself, but I find this becomes more and more true every time I meet a student-athlete, coach or staff member from an opponent's school. On the court, field, etc. we're all "enemies," but most of the time we really all want the same thing. 

5. Ravens release 2011 schedule...

We're not sure we'll have a 2011 season, but just in case we have a sweet schedule. My mom's not too thrilled about the home games on Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve but I can tell my dad is already drooling about another season.

remembering columbine...

I'm positively pooped, but couldn't go to bed without sharing a few words on the anniversary of the Columbine shooting. I know every generation has those "where were you when" moments like JFK's assassination or 9/11 or some natural disaster. Columbine was such a pivotal moment of my high school career. There had been other school shootings and there were more after, but I specifically remember getting off the bus at a track meet in Salisbury and hearing about a devastating school shooting. I'll never forget it.

As more details surfaced about the shooters, everyone was analyzing their motives and staying alert for copycats. A year and a half earlier there had been a shooting at Heath High School in Paducah, Kentucky at an early morning prayer group. I was one of the leaders of our high school FCA group that met Thursday mornings before school and for weeks after Columbine, we all jumped every time the door opened during our meetings. Less than a year before Columbine, there was a shooting at Thurston High School in Springfield, Oregon where a guy in a trench coat had a hit list. Not long after Columbine, a trench coat wearing classmate was expelled supposedly for having a hit list. I've read a ton on Columbine, especially on the lives of Rachel Scott and Cassie Bernall after hearing about their faith, and while I don't want to continue bringing faith to the shooters of Columbine, I do want to remember what the victims went through and do anything I can to prevent it from happening again.

Steven Curtis Chapman is an alum of Heath High School and wrote "With Hope" after the shooting and Columbine survivors Jonathan and Stephen Cohen wrote "Friend of Mine" after the tragedy. Michael W. Smith also wrote "This Is Your Time" in remembrance of Cassie Bernall. Let's remember the good and make a positive difference in the people around us. Here's to remembering the good that came out of Columbine, April 20, 1999.

facebook drought...

I've spent the last 42 days without logging into facebook. And with five days left of lent, I've survived. This is only the second time in my life I've even given up something for lent. The first was 11 years ago when I felt like I was spending too much time hanging out on the couches of the lion's den. I gave up the den for lent other than eating and actually spent time in the library and my room doing homework. Crazy concept for a college student I know!

Fast forward to last month and the anticipation of lent. I'm not committed to always giving up something. I think people have taken the period of time out of context, but it was meant to be a time of preparation for Easter. I'm not sure that giving up chocolate or not biting my nails is going to help me get ready for Easter, but I felt like I could use a refocus this year.

I have nothing against facebook itself. I think it is an awesome tool for people to communicate and stay in touch like never before. I have a slight problem with the number of people who want to be my "friend" but never actually communicate with me, but that's for another blog. I do have an issue when I start to spend way too much time facebook stalking rather than something else more productive.

I look forward to logging in Sunday and seeing pictures of a friend's baby and a school group's mission trip not to mention all of the things I don't even know happened in the last 47 days. I'm sure I'll need to apologize for all of the birthdays I missed and the messages that went unanswered, but I am grateful for the e-mails, phone calls and texts I received that might have normally been answered via facebook or even just facebook stalking.

Over the last 42 days without facebook I have... read a book not required for work... blogged an average of once a week... had more actual conversations with people... not reacted to people differently based on their status...

Will I get back on facebook? Absolutely. But I hope my hiatus has given me a different perspective on the uber addictive social networking site. I'm just seeking a balance in the midst of extremes.

teamwork...

Most of the time we think about a team in the sense of a sports team. Then you have the classic business professional who insists on sharing sports analogies in the workplace to inspire and motivate his or her "team." There are other teams within organizations or committees... or maybe you grew up with some hippie parents referring to your family as a team. Either way, there are plenty of people out there trying to tell us how to have a successful team and yet I have been a part of or heard about so many struggling teams we must be missing something.

I still believe the number one problem with teams is communication. We are afraid to be honest because we don't think our teammates can handle it so we are passive aggressive and/or just talk about everyone behind their back. Or if someone is honest with us, we really can't handle it because we don't trust they're being honest but are really trying to manipulate or undermine us. Ideally, a team is built around people who trust each other. People who trust each other to share their strengths and weaknesses and not have to share your problem about Suzie with Jane. I would like to believe Suzie and I can be adult enough to talk about my problem and come to an agreement without taking down the whole team with us. And by "with us" I mean separately into competing sides to battle to the bitter end.

Another common issue with teams can be leadership. Sometimes it's the "coach" or maybe the "captains"... but ineffective leaders or problems in the leadership often trickle down into the team. I've noticed the successful teams have truly bought into their leadership and would run through a brick wall if they were asked to do so. The biggest hurdle seems to be how to get a team to buy in... How do you convince a group of people to trust you and follow you? Another problem can be how to select leadership. I've been on search committees for coaches... I've voted for captains... I've interviewed for leadership positions... and the acceptance or rejection of leaders can be difficult. It becomes especially hard when people are applying for a position in which even if they don't get it, they'll have to work with or under another person who does get it. Not only do you have to reject a person, but you have to convince them to agree with your choice to the point of making the team better. Year-end awards like MVP or All-Conference can be a hard pill to swallow when you've ranked yourself higher than the award recipients. Can we really trust Billy is better than me?

Commitment is probably my third issue I think breaks down teams. It is difficult to find a team where everyone has the exact same commitment level... and when you have varying levels of commitment, people respond differently to situations and can cause headaches. I'm uber committed and go above and beyond the call of duty, but never get to play while Johnny shows up late and doesn't even look like he's trying yet he gets all the glory. If I'm truly committed, I want to be committed to the team and not just to my success. I think a key to success is surrounding yourself with people with the same or at least similar commitment levels. I don't want to play tennis with professional tennis players because I'm not as committed as them and would look silly. But I also wouldn't want to work with someone that's only halfway committed to the job because they're not going to get me what I need when I need it.

Just a thought... here's to teamwork...

being an aunt...

I have had the pleasure of being an aunt for the majority of my life. One of the benefits of having a sister 17 and a half years older than me is her kids are probably more like what would be cousins for other people. My nephews are 25 and 17 (almost 18) and I love them dearly. We don't talk often, but we have our moments when I am so proud to not only be an aunt, but to be their aunt.

When Cameron was little, he went to one of those Santa's shops to buy gifts for his family. I was so excited he bought me this cheesy pin that said, "#1 Aunt." I could never get either one of them to call me "Aunt Kirbie" so having him semi-acknowledge it was one of the best gifts ever.

With Zac three years behind me in school, I couldn't wait until I would be a senior and he would be a freshman at the same high school. Unfortunately they opened a new high school my junior year that never let that happen. I guess he still had a taste of being related to me when I made a fool of myself at a lacrosse game and kids at his school were talking about it. Word travels fast in small towns!

When I was living in Maryland, Zac was playing in a bad that had the opportunity to play at the Recher and I went to see him. I couldn't understand a word they said, but knew how excited he was to be playing there and was so proud of him for rocking out. A few years later he joined Pianos Become the Teeth and they made their way south during one of their summer tours. When they needed a place to stay in NC, I offered up my house and had the treat of housing some exhausted "Post-Rock/Post-Hardcore/Screamo" band guys for a night. I took them to lunch and tried to be the cool aunt for a night and sent them on their way before I blew my cover.

This past fall I had the chance to show Cam my school in case he ever wanted to come here. We probably need to get a varsity ice hockey team before he'd ever take it seriously, but I was excited for he and his mom to visit. Cam and Zac have a lot in common, but they're so different too. It's been cool to get to know both of them as they grow up. Zac deals with a lot of pressure to grow up and get a "real job" and Cam is trying to seek out dreams beyond the walls of the eastern shore of Maryland. I think they're both on the right track.

A couple of weeks ago Cam sent me an essay he was writing for a scholarship that he needed help with. He is a better writer than he originally let on. Next week Zac and the rest of Pianos Become the Teeth will head to Europe for a tour... an overseas tour. Both of my nephews are making a difference and I couldn't be more proud.