When I graduated high school my mom and I went to the bank so I could start a checking account and she put her name on the account so she could make deposits from maryland while I was in college. (She probably wanted to keep an eye on my spending as well but whatever.)
Eight years later and her name is still on the account but I took her off my checks and everything. Today I went to deposit some money through the drive-thru and after the teller sent my receipt back through the tube, she asked "deborah would you like to try online banking?" I was speechless for a second while I tried to figure out why the heck she called me deborah. I eventually realized she saw the two names on the account and assumed I couldn't possibly be kirbie since kirbie is such a masculine name... Thanks. I must be deborah.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
paul newman
I'm just enjoying a sunday night at the house flipping through the channels when I came across CNN remembering Paul Newman. I couldn't tell you a thing about Paul Newman and I don't typically watch CNN but their info bar at the bottom had a quote from Robert Redford "My life, and this country, is better for him being in it."
I have no idea when I'll die, but I hope I live a life where people could say that about me. Maybe not Robert Redford... and maybe they won't cover it on CNN... but I always think you can tell a lot about a person by what people say about them when they die.
I have no idea when I'll die, but I hope I live a life where people could say that about me. Maybe not Robert Redford... and maybe they won't cover it on CNN... but I always think you can tell a lot about a person by what people say about them when they die.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
he who does not weep does not see
A few thoughts...
- My air conditioning isn't working... my first real problem in four months of home ownership. I'm real excited about the possible reasons for malfunction and hoping it won't be too expensive to fix. I am thankful the a/c pumped me through summer and perhaps a cool breeze will cool us off tonight.
- I am a really good assistant tennis coach. A slight exaggeration... but I had a great time supporting the women's tennis team at their tournament this weekend. Sometimes it's easy to get sucked into the computer behind my desk and forget the reason why I do this job. I look forward to actually getting to know the athletes and taking a vested interest in their success both on and off the court/field/track/course.
- I am not a very good tennis player. I love running around and making a fool of myself, but I wish I was better. I wish I had more time to dedicate to the sport. Some day I'll get there!
- I am trying to balance work with my social life. I'm not always very good at it. I started going to FCA again so I at least have a break Tuesday nights to escape... not to mention I break into a bit of nostalgia while I reminisce about the "good ol' days."
- I love one tree hill. Silly? Yes... but it's another stress reliever while I escape into the silliness. My quote of the month... "he who does not weep does not see." Let it sink in... love it.
- Is it november yet? While I thoroughly enjoy our fall sports... november brings some sanity while I have a couple of months to just have one home event at a time.
- please excuse the ramblings... there's a lot floating around in this noggin... the headband must have been a little too tight this weekend.
- My air conditioning isn't working... my first real problem in four months of home ownership. I'm real excited about the possible reasons for malfunction and hoping it won't be too expensive to fix. I am thankful the a/c pumped me through summer and perhaps a cool breeze will cool us off tonight.
- I am a really good assistant tennis coach. A slight exaggeration... but I had a great time supporting the women's tennis team at their tournament this weekend. Sometimes it's easy to get sucked into the computer behind my desk and forget the reason why I do this job. I look forward to actually getting to know the athletes and taking a vested interest in their success both on and off the court/field/track/course.
- I am not a very good tennis player. I love running around and making a fool of myself, but I wish I was better. I wish I had more time to dedicate to the sport. Some day I'll get there!
- I am trying to balance work with my social life. I'm not always very good at it. I started going to FCA again so I at least have a break Tuesday nights to escape... not to mention I break into a bit of nostalgia while I reminisce about the "good ol' days."
- I love one tree hill. Silly? Yes... but it's another stress reliever while I escape into the silliness. My quote of the month... "he who does not weep does not see." Let it sink in... love it.
- Is it november yet? While I thoroughly enjoy our fall sports... november brings some sanity while I have a couple of months to just have one home event at a time.
- please excuse the ramblings... there's a lot floating around in this noggin... the headband must have been a little too tight this weekend.
Monday, September 1, 2008
smiling
Lately I feel like I start every blog commenting on my absence. I guess I go through blogging phases. Or maybe I go through phases of free time. Regardless, I value the opportunity to "write"... some writing just can't be published on myspace! Some thoughts...
1. While it's not the most popular tv show... especially not for a 26-year-old... I've been open about my enthusiasm regarding One Tree Hill. The season premiere is tomorrow night so in preparation I watched last season's finale tonight for a refresher. Peyton's upset because Lucas (the guy she loves) told her he hated her. He was drunk and I still think he loves her (just my opinion - or maybe I just want him to love her) but their mutual friend Haley tried to show Peyton he doesn't hate her through some letters. Peyton says, "That's what he writes, but what he says is a totally different story." Haley responds... "Sometimes people write what they can't say." (video clip)
I wish we could all just say what we mean and mean what we say. Wishful thinking... I'm trying to be more of an adult and confront conflict rather than let it snowball into something I never intended. It's not easy... It can definitely be easier to retreat into writing. Either way... I'm totally excited about the new season!
2. I've been reading blogs from Jamie at To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) You can visit his myspace here or here . He just wrote on the TWLOHA myspace page about speaking to 50,000 people for a festival in South Dakota (who knew South Dakota had that many people? jk). Something he said that resonated with me... "maybe God doesn't look down and see this giant bunch of people. maybe God looks down and sees your story and my story. individuals. our dreams and fears and pains and hopes and all the things that make us unique. our questions and our favorite songs. these things matter so much. and somehow maybe we're all connected, everyone there in that field last night, more across a world right now. perhaps we're all in this thing together, part of a bigger story, one not over yet but still being told. hope still happening and all of us invited."
I don't know. I think sometimes I just need to feel connected. When things get crazy and I get stressed or drained I can lose perspective, but I get up every morning counting on the fact that there's more to life than this. I think we can all appreciate knowing we're not alone.
3. 20/20 did a special on a movie called about suicide jumpers on the Golden Gate bridge. A camera crew filmed the bridge for a year catching jumpers on tape. 20/20 tried to break down the pros and cons all surrounding the debate over adding safety precautions to the bridge. Check out 20/20 or the official movie site for more information.
The movie features one man, Kevin Hines who survived the jump in 2000. Suffering from bipolar, he said as soon as he jumped he regretted it. Now he spends time speaking to others and campaigning to raise the rail on the bridge in order to prevent more suicides.
4. Methodist, my employer, is getting a new athletics web site very soon. Hopefully this week... I'm pretty pumped about all of the features and would love to publish the link, but it will have to wait. In theory it's going to allow me to do my job faster! I also have an assistant this year... (thanks La!) it has taken me a couple of years, but things are starting to piece together... although I'm still striving for my spurs (one of my boss' goals for myself).
5. I've learned sometimes I need a pat on the back. Especially if you're about to criticize me. I don't want to be needy... I think I'm better at accepting constructive criticism, but I still appreciate the "sandwich approach" where you deliver a positive statement, then a future oriented, positive feedback statement, then a behavior based compliment. A silly sports psychology term that helps to build someone up before you tear them down!
6. Labor Day typically commemorates the end of summer. (It also usually means a day off but not so much in my world.) I suppose it at least gives me a chance to reflect on the last few months. I did everything I could not to work on Fridays... and it was refreshing to relax for a three-day (or sometimes more) weekend. I went to the beach on four different occasions... went to my first nerd convention in Tampa... spent some time with my other family at the OBX... made a couple of trips home to visit friends and family in QA... made my first trip to Mississippi for the grand tour of Meridian... attempted to settle into my first house along with plenty of help... and learned that things don't always work out the way you plan... but things not following the plan don't have to be bad. Summer marks the end of my free nights and weekends but some things don't have to end just because school starts... and I'm thankful... and optimistic!
6a. Every year I think I get a better handle on who I am and who is important to me. I still have a ton of acquaintances... but I work hard to spend my free time with people that matter. I can't get caught up in how things were or how I might wish they would be... I'm grateful for all of you that look out for me. I'm also grateful to all of the myspace stalkers who make me look like I have a lot of friends. :)
6b. I was always taught if I had an "a" I had to have a "b".
7. Methodist hosts Campbell on Saturday at 1 pm. Campbell is expected to bring a huge crowd... any MC/MU alumni should make the trip if you can so we don't look outnumbered on our home field! Oh... and homecoming is Nov. 1 and somehow I was put on the 2003 class recruiter or something... so this is my plug... come to homecoming. Okay one more plug... the Methodist Hall of Fame induction is Oct. 31 (yes halloween) and for anyone curious Gwen Holtsclaw, John McCormic, Sissy (Sink) Rausch and Elena Blanina are going to be inducted so come... cool.
1. While it's not the most popular tv show... especially not for a 26-year-old... I've been open about my enthusiasm regarding One Tree Hill. The season premiere is tomorrow night so in preparation I watched last season's finale tonight for a refresher. Peyton's upset because Lucas (the guy she loves) told her he hated her. He was drunk and I still think he loves her (just my opinion - or maybe I just want him to love her) but their mutual friend Haley tried to show Peyton he doesn't hate her through some letters. Peyton says, "That's what he writes, but what he says is a totally different story." Haley responds... "Sometimes people write what they can't say." (video clip)
I wish we could all just say what we mean and mean what we say. Wishful thinking... I'm trying to be more of an adult and confront conflict rather than let it snowball into something I never intended. It's not easy... It can definitely be easier to retreat into writing. Either way... I'm totally excited about the new season!
2. I've been reading blogs from Jamie at To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) You can visit his myspace here or here . He just wrote on the TWLOHA myspace page about speaking to 50,000 people for a festival in South Dakota (who knew South Dakota had that many people? jk). Something he said that resonated with me... "maybe God doesn't look down and see this giant bunch of people. maybe God looks down and sees your story and my story. individuals. our dreams and fears and pains and hopes and all the things that make us unique. our questions and our favorite songs. these things matter so much. and somehow maybe we're all connected, everyone there in that field last night, more across a world right now. perhaps we're all in this thing together, part of a bigger story, one not over yet but still being told. hope still happening and all of us invited."
I don't know. I think sometimes I just need to feel connected. When things get crazy and I get stressed or drained I can lose perspective, but I get up every morning counting on the fact that there's more to life than this. I think we can all appreciate knowing we're not alone.
3. 20/20 did a special on a movie called about suicide jumpers on the Golden Gate bridge. A camera crew filmed the bridge for a year catching jumpers on tape. 20/20 tried to break down the pros and cons all surrounding the debate over adding safety precautions to the bridge. Check out 20/20 or the official movie site for more information.
The movie features one man, Kevin Hines who survived the jump in 2000. Suffering from bipolar, he said as soon as he jumped he regretted it. Now he spends time speaking to others and campaigning to raise the rail on the bridge in order to prevent more suicides.
4. Methodist, my employer, is getting a new athletics web site very soon. Hopefully this week... I'm pretty pumped about all of the features and would love to publish the link, but it will have to wait. In theory it's going to allow me to do my job faster! I also have an assistant this year... (thanks La!) it has taken me a couple of years, but things are starting to piece together... although I'm still striving for my spurs (one of my boss' goals for myself).
5. I've learned sometimes I need a pat on the back. Especially if you're about to criticize me. I don't want to be needy... I think I'm better at accepting constructive criticism, but I still appreciate the "sandwich approach" where you deliver a positive statement, then a future oriented, positive feedback statement, then a behavior based compliment. A silly sports psychology term that helps to build someone up before you tear them down!
6. Labor Day typically commemorates the end of summer. (It also usually means a day off but not so much in my world.) I suppose it at least gives me a chance to reflect on the last few months. I did everything I could not to work on Fridays... and it was refreshing to relax for a three-day (or sometimes more) weekend. I went to the beach on four different occasions... went to my first nerd convention in Tampa... spent some time with my other family at the OBX... made a couple of trips home to visit friends and family in QA... made my first trip to Mississippi for the grand tour of Meridian... attempted to settle into my first house along with plenty of help... and learned that things don't always work out the way you plan... but things not following the plan don't have to be bad. Summer marks the end of my free nights and weekends but some things don't have to end just because school starts... and I'm thankful... and optimistic!
6a. Every year I think I get a better handle on who I am and who is important to me. I still have a ton of acquaintances... but I work hard to spend my free time with people that matter. I can't get caught up in how things were or how I might wish they would be... I'm grateful for all of you that look out for me. I'm also grateful to all of the myspace stalkers who make me look like I have a lot of friends. :)
6b. I was always taught if I had an "a" I had to have a "b".
7. Methodist hosts Campbell on Saturday at 1 pm. Campbell is expected to bring a huge crowd... any MC/MU alumni should make the trip if you can so we don't look outnumbered on our home field! Oh... and homecoming is Nov. 1 and somehow I was put on the 2003 class recruiter or something... so this is my plug... come to homecoming. Okay one more plug... the Methodist Hall of Fame induction is Oct. 31 (yes halloween) and for anyone curious Gwen Holtsclaw, John McCormic, Sissy (Sink) Rausch and Elena Blanina are going to be inducted so come... cool.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
today
Today I turned 26. I think most people stop making a big deal out of their birthdays around 21 (of course I guess some stop at 7 and then pick up again for 16, 18 and 21) so please pardon my enthusiasm about 26. I typically spend my birthday in different places other than home beginning with celebrating at summer camps while I was growing up. After college I was all over... In 2003 I was trying to make it at my first real job in Cary... In 2004 I was actually home on the shore for a little while... In 2005 I was taking my comps aka final exam in Tennessee... In 2006 I was in New Mexico... In 2007 I was hanging out with the family in Fayettenam. Today I went to work but tried to make the most of my annual holiday.
It shouldn't really be that big of a deal but I look forward to hearing from my friends and family. The one day a year when I can be a tad bit selfish and expect a call. I secretly (or not so secretly anymore for all of you that stalk my blog) test everyone's memory to see who remembers my birthday. When myspace and facebook arrived I felt like it gave everyone a cheat sheet and for the past couple of years I took my birthday down the week before to see who actually remembered but I opted to leave it up this year. Last year there were four well wishes and today there were 45. Evidently facebook is a good reminder.
Regardless I'm grateful to all of my friends and family. I received a ton of gifts today that I did not deserve nor expect. I had some help staying up til 1:03 am to ring in my actual birth in style... ok not really that exciting but I appreciated the company. I finally have my fire pit that I've been wanting since I bought my house and had a special delivery to the office to brighten up a normally blase afternoon. I wish I could combine the four different versions of "happy birthday" that I heard... someone could make a lot of money off of that mix. I've lost track of the birthday e-mails, texts and phone calls. Who knew that many people cared when I turned 26.
I hope I can soak in every moment... sometimes when you've been doing something awhile it is easy to become complacent. I don't want to take life for granted... I am blessed and extremely thankful.
It shouldn't really be that big of a deal but I look forward to hearing from my friends and family. The one day a year when I can be a tad bit selfish and expect a call. I secretly (or not so secretly anymore for all of you that stalk my blog) test everyone's memory to see who remembers my birthday. When myspace and facebook arrived I felt like it gave everyone a cheat sheet and for the past couple of years I took my birthday down the week before to see who actually remembered but I opted to leave it up this year. Last year there were four well wishes and today there were 45. Evidently facebook is a good reminder.
Regardless I'm grateful to all of my friends and family. I received a ton of gifts today that I did not deserve nor expect. I had some help staying up til 1:03 am to ring in my actual birth in style... ok not really that exciting but I appreciated the company. I finally have my fire pit that I've been wanting since I bought my house and had a special delivery to the office to brighten up a normally blase afternoon. I wish I could combine the four different versions of "happy birthday" that I heard... someone could make a lot of money off of that mix. I've lost track of the birthday e-mails, texts and phone calls. Who knew that many people cared when I turned 26.
I hope I can soak in every moment... sometimes when you've been doing something awhile it is easy to become complacent. I don't want to take life for granted... I am blessed and extremely thankful.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
august ahead...
I made the mistake of typing an entire blog within myspace before attempting to post and running into a myspace error. Don't worry, it's been forwarded to their technical group, but I have a feeling the technical group is in no hurry to rescue my ramblings. Good thing I felt strongly enough to remember most of it... :)
I typically measure time based on the schedule of my job and the vacations that come with it... occasionally. I know that summer ends August 10th when football players report and I know that Christmas break begins December 15th after the last basketball game of 2008 and I am back to work January 3rd when basketball begins again (although I do have a break from home games from Dec. 2 - Jan. 11). I also know summer begins when the last student-athlete competes at their NCAA competition in late May.
Some times I get caught up in the stress and demands of sports information, but last week I was able to recharge the batteries a bit at our nerd convention (aka SID convention). I met some new people... hung out with some people I already knew and even learned a few things in between. I can look ahead towards the new school year and say I'm excited to meet the new student-athletes and reunite with the returners. I'm excited to unveil the new website and free up some time. I'm excited to implement some new things and just be better at my job... third time's a charm right?!
I'm sure I'll still be stressed and I'll still have some bad days... but I want to be grateful for my career. No one should have hired me based on my lack of experience but I'm thankful for Methodist's ignorance or perhaps Coach Jarman's persuasive persistence. I don't always understand why Fayetteville but I trust God has a plan and I want to keep learning and growing.
I appreciate the people in my life who have supported me through the last two years of SID chaos... whether it was answering a stat-crew question in the middle of a game... taking over PA during a NCAA tournament so I could get a break... listening to me vent about my job even when you didn't have a clue what I was talking about... traveling during holidays to stat games when I didn't have the student help... or just being there... thank you.
I'm going to refuse a final summer countdown and instead choose to soak it all in...
I typically measure time based on the schedule of my job and the vacations that come with it... occasionally. I know that summer ends August 10th when football players report and I know that Christmas break begins December 15th after the last basketball game of 2008 and I am back to work January 3rd when basketball begins again (although I do have a break from home games from Dec. 2 - Jan. 11). I also know summer begins when the last student-athlete competes at their NCAA competition in late May.
Some times I get caught up in the stress and demands of sports information, but last week I was able to recharge the batteries a bit at our nerd convention (aka SID convention). I met some new people... hung out with some people I already knew and even learned a few things in between. I can look ahead towards the new school year and say I'm excited to meet the new student-athletes and reunite with the returners. I'm excited to unveil the new website and free up some time. I'm excited to implement some new things and just be better at my job... third time's a charm right?!
I'm sure I'll still be stressed and I'll still have some bad days... but I want to be grateful for my career. No one should have hired me based on my lack of experience but I'm thankful for Methodist's ignorance or perhaps Coach Jarman's persuasive persistence. I don't always understand why Fayetteville but I trust God has a plan and I want to keep learning and growing.
I appreciate the people in my life who have supported me through the last two years of SID chaos... whether it was answering a stat-crew question in the middle of a game... taking over PA during a NCAA tournament so I could get a break... listening to me vent about my job even when you didn't have a clue what I was talking about... traveling during holidays to stat games when I didn't have the student help... or just being there... thank you.
I'm going to refuse a final summer countdown and instead choose to soak it all in...
Monday, June 16, 2008
on repeat
I've lost count of the number of times I've started this blog. Well maybe not this particular blog... but of my next blog. Growing up I never thought much of my writing abilities. I grew up writing stupid fantasy stories, but when it came to graded work, it never came easy to me. Now I end up writing to earn a paycheck and just pray I don't receive too many angry correction e-mails. Blogging lets me go back to my stupid fantasy stories when I can (in theory) write without fear of receiving a (poor) grade or a salary downgrade. At the same time blogging is exposing my writing to the myspace world. Sometimes I feel like I'm beginning to repeat myself but maybe you didn't read the first couple... :)
... I really value friendship. Perhaps too much. I have a hard time letting go of friendships that fade away. It doesn't make sense to me... especially if there's not a tangible reason. I tend to call people back. I tend to confide in the people I trust. I tend to keep in touch with the people. That's not to say I don't have people I can not see for a year and pick up where we left off without missing a beat. I guess I just don't transition well when people move from the "keep in touch - hang out a lot" category to "pick up where we left off." Trying... I am.
... I really value communication. When I'm upset, I usually let you know. Sometimes I try to let it go but if it continues to eat at me then I feel like it's valid... well at least valid enough to confront you about it. On the other side, if you're mad at me, tell me... at least give me the chance to fix it. I want to be able to say that everything I say, I mean. I don't want to be someone that hurts everyone through honesty but I also don't think it's fair to lie to everyone just to be nice. There has to be a balance.
... I really value family. I go back and forth all the time about where I want to live. I grew up wanting to live in NC so I only applied to NC colleges. I wanted to stay when I graduated and had a pretty sweet job until people decided women's pro soccer wasn't worth supporting... sending me back to Maryland. I didn't have much of a social life there and went to grad school where it took me 10 months to find friends in Tennessee before I left a month later just to return to Maryland. I was engrossed in weddings but still not really digging the lack of friends... hence a move back to NC. Here I am... missing my family like crazy. Just since January I've missed my mom, sister, and brother's birthdays, easter, mother's day and father's day. I won't be with them for my birthday or my dad's or other sister's. I'm grateful to have two days at Thanksgiving and hopefully a week at Christmas. I love the shore. I'm not sure I'll meet my husband there, but I know I could raise a family there. Every time I cross the bridge I know I'm home.
... I am constantly figuring out who I am. I am constantly fighting the urge to fake it. I want to be who I am and be content with the cards I'm dealt. Still seeking...
... I really value friendship. Perhaps too much. I have a hard time letting go of friendships that fade away. It doesn't make sense to me... especially if there's not a tangible reason. I tend to call people back. I tend to confide in the people I trust. I tend to keep in touch with the people. That's not to say I don't have people I can not see for a year and pick up where we left off without missing a beat. I guess I just don't transition well when people move from the "keep in touch - hang out a lot" category to "pick up where we left off." Trying... I am.
... I really value communication. When I'm upset, I usually let you know. Sometimes I try to let it go but if it continues to eat at me then I feel like it's valid... well at least valid enough to confront you about it. On the other side, if you're mad at me, tell me... at least give me the chance to fix it. I want to be able to say that everything I say, I mean. I don't want to be someone that hurts everyone through honesty but I also don't think it's fair to lie to everyone just to be nice. There has to be a balance.
... I really value family. I go back and forth all the time about where I want to live. I grew up wanting to live in NC so I only applied to NC colleges. I wanted to stay when I graduated and had a pretty sweet job until people decided women's pro soccer wasn't worth supporting... sending me back to Maryland. I didn't have much of a social life there and went to grad school where it took me 10 months to find friends in Tennessee before I left a month later just to return to Maryland. I was engrossed in weddings but still not really digging the lack of friends... hence a move back to NC. Here I am... missing my family like crazy. Just since January I've missed my mom, sister, and brother's birthdays, easter, mother's day and father's day. I won't be with them for my birthday or my dad's or other sister's. I'm grateful to have two days at Thanksgiving and hopefully a week at Christmas. I love the shore. I'm not sure I'll meet my husband there, but I know I could raise a family there. Every time I cross the bridge I know I'm home.
... I am constantly figuring out who I am. I am constantly fighting the urge to fake it. I want to be who I am and be content with the cards I'm dealt. Still seeking...
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