smiling

Lately I feel like I start every blog commenting on my absence. I guess I go through blogging phases. Or maybe I go through phases of free time. Regardless, I value the opportunity to "write"... some writing just can't be published on myspace! Some thoughts...

1. While it's not the most popular tv show... especially not for a 26-year-old... I've been open about my enthusiasm regarding One Tree Hill. The season premiere is tomorrow night so in preparation I watched last season's finale tonight for a refresher. Peyton's upset because Lucas (the guy she loves) told her he hated her. He was drunk and I still think he loves her (just my opinion - or maybe I just want him to love her) but their mutual friend Haley tried to show Peyton he doesn't hate her through some letters. Peyton says, "That's what he writes, but what he says is a totally different story." Haley responds... "Sometimes people write what they can't say." (video clip)

I wish we could all just say what we mean and mean what we say. Wishful thinking... I'm trying to be more of an adult and confront conflict rather than let it snowball into something I never intended. It's not easy... It can definitely be easier to retreat into writing. Either way... I'm totally excited about the new season!

2. I've been reading blogs from Jamie at To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) You can visit his myspace here or here . He just wrote on the TWLOHA myspace page about speaking to 50,000 people for a festival in South Dakota (who knew South Dakota had that many people? jk). Something he said that resonated with me... "maybe God doesn't look down and see this giant bunch of people. maybe God looks down and sees your story and my story. individuals. our dreams and fears and pains and hopes and all the things that make us unique. our questions and our favorite songs. these things matter so much. and somehow maybe we're all connected, everyone there in that field last night, more across a world right now. perhaps we're all in this thing together, part of a bigger story, one not over yet but still being told. hope still happening and all of us invited."

I don't know. I think sometimes I just need to feel connected. When things get crazy and I get stressed or drained I can lose perspective, but I get up every morning counting on the fact that there's more to life than this. I think we can all appreciate knowing we're not alone.

3. 20/20 did a special on a movie called about suicide jumpers on the Golden Gate bridge. A camera crew filmed the bridge for a year catching jumpers on tape. 20/20 tried to break down the pros and cons all surrounding the debate over adding safety precautions to the bridge. Check out 20/20 or the official movie site for more information.

The movie features one man, Kevin Hines who survived the jump in 2000. Suffering from bipolar, he said as soon as he jumped he regretted it. Now he spends time speaking to others and campaigning to raise the rail on the bridge in order to prevent more suicides.

4. Methodist, my employer, is getting a new athletics web site very soon. Hopefully this week... I'm pretty pumped about all of the features and would love to publish the link, but it will have to wait. In theory it's going to allow me to do my job faster! I also have an assistant this year... (thanks La!) it has taken me a couple of years, but things are starting to piece together... although I'm still striving for my spurs (one of my boss' goals for myself).

5. I've learned sometimes I need a pat on the back. Especially if you're about to criticize me. I don't want to be needy... I think I'm better at accepting constructive criticism, but I still appreciate the "sandwich approach" where you deliver a positive statement, then a future oriented, positive feedback statement, then a behavior based compliment. A silly sports psychology term that helps to build someone up before you tear them down!

6. Labor Day typically commemorates the end of summer. (It also usually means a day off but not so much in my world.) I suppose it at least gives me a chance to reflect on the last few months. I did everything I could not to work on Fridays... and it was refreshing to relax for a three-day (or sometimes more) weekend. I went to the beach on four different occasions... went to my first nerd convention in Tampa... spent some time with my other family at the OBX... made a couple of trips home to visit friends and family in QA... made my first trip to Mississippi for the grand tour of Meridian... attempted to settle into my first house along with plenty of help... and learned that things don't always work out the way you plan... but things not following the plan don't have to be bad. Summer marks the end of my free nights and weekends but some things don't have to end just because school starts... and I'm thankful... and optimistic!

6a. Every year I think I get a better handle on who I am and who is important to me. I still have a ton of acquaintances... but I work hard to spend my free time with people that matter. I can't get caught up in how things were or how I might wish they would be... I'm grateful for all of you that look out for me. I'm also grateful to all of the myspace stalkers who make me look like I have a lot of friends. :)

6b. I was always taught if I had an "a" I had to have a "b".

7. Methodist hosts Campbell on Saturday at 1 pm. Campbell is expected to bring a huge crowd... any MC/MU alumni should make the trip if you can so we don't look outnumbered on our home field! Oh... and homecoming is Nov. 1 and somehow I was put on the 2003 class recruiter or something... so this is my plug... come to homecoming. Okay one more plug... the Methodist Hall of Fame induction is Oct. 31 (yes halloween) and for anyone curious Gwen Holtsclaw, John McCormic, Sissy (Sink) Rausch and Elena Blanina are going to be inducted so come... cool.