turning 30...

During the summer of 2012 I have managed to get a new job, a boyfriend and.... gasp... turn 30. I've seen some friends really struggle with 30 and I was determined not to join them. In reality, we're getting older every day and we've created these societal expectations and media pressure that have determined who we should be when we turn 30. I think if you had asked me 15 years ago... probably even 10 years ago where I would be when I turned 30, I would have told you I'd be married with a kid or two while balancing some amazing career. Of course I also thought I'd meet my husband in college. I probably struggled more graduating college and not being any closer to mastering my love life than I did this year. At the same time I was cognizant of this milestone approaching and trying to figure out what I was doing with my life.

I've tried to balance these feelings of content and panic all summer. Change is never easy... at least not for me and I am usually a big long-term planner. In May I typically know what the next 7-8 months will look like. During this May I had no idea what I would be doing in June let alone December or January. I over think things and analyze every possible scenario and this summer I've been challenged to just take it one day at a time while still checking my direction. We can't let the unknown of next week paralyze us, but I also don't think we should keep our head down so much that we end up falling off the track.

I'm confident God spends time convincing me to really be satisfied in Him alone and sometimes that means holding back some of this stuff I think I need. I want to grateful for the Giver, not just the gifts. I'm grateful for the opportunity to see a couple of steps in front of me after a season of unknown as I turned 30. I was ready to move forward and I think it helped me conquer whatever expectations I have placed on myself for this particular time in my life.

At the same time, there is still what feels like an almost overwhelming sense of unknown. After an exhausting week with a move... I came to some sense of peace. I don't have all the answers, but I'm trying to live in this moment and be content... even at 30! The last month has been full of stress, change and sleepless nights... but tonight I am grateful. I am so thankful God always knows better than I do... His timing is better than mine. Here's to embracing unsettledness!

birthdays

I've always had this thing for birthdays. I'm not sure when it started but I know I was thrilled to spend nearly every birthday from 9-18 at a camp of some kind. There were tons of people celebrating with me. Having a summer birthday not everyone remembers my birthday. It's hard when you don't see someone to always remember. I'm sure I've forgotten my fair share of birthdays myself. Of course now we have facebook to remind us. Two years ago I took my birthday off facebook just to see who remembered. It didn't go well. I've caved to the system and I appreciate the multitude of people who left me well wishes this year.

On Tuesday a couple of my friends and I drove to Alexandria, Va. We checked into our hotel and realized it actually had a pretty sweet view. We found the metro station and walked into Olde Towne in Alexandria to get dinner. We ate at King Street Blues and had amazing ribs before heading to nearby Light Horse. They were supposed to have a singer but Shane somebody never showed up so we entertained ourselves. We eventually headed back to the hotel and toasted my birthday at 1:03 am with some fine H2O.

We spent Wednesday in DC at at WNBA game between the Washington Mystics and the San Antonio Silver Stars. I was one of three fans in the crowd routing for the Silver Stars since my favorite player Shanna (Zolman) Crossley is on the team. She missed the trip with an injury but the Stars pulled out the one point victory.

We had an exciting trip home belting out some tunes to make the time go by. I made it home in time to get ready for Dan to arrive. Dan and I met some friends from work Thursday night for more birthday celebration and then my parents arrived Friday to continue the birthday fun. I've been itching for the blackberry storm since it came out... waiting for them to get the glitches out and waiting for my account to afford it. Thankfully my parents bought it for my birthday but I'm still attempting to learn to use it!

Regardless, it was one of the best birthday weeks I've had in a long time. It was nice to be surrounded by people again. I'm thoroughly grateful.

This morning in church Rev. John Cook talked about evangelism. He quoted D.T. Niles who said, "Evangelism is just one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread." He told a story from his time at his first church. Everyone wanted him to talk to this girl and lead her to Christ. He figured people had talked to her before but he went and gave her his speel but she turned down his offer to receive Christ. He went on to pray with her and when he finished she had tears coming down her face. She said, "You're the first person who cared enough to come." Do we care enough to come?

This afternoon I watched USA Softball storm through Australia to reach the World Cup championship. Jennie Finch pitched a shutout victory. It was good to watch some games especially since right now softball won't be in the Olympics anymore. One of ESPN's commentators, Michele Smith was promoting the committee working to bring softball back to the Olympics. Check out www.backsoftball.com to show your support.

After softball came the US Women's National Team soccer game against Canada. I've been a huge fan of the USWNT since 1995. I've bordered obsessive at times but it's hard to keep up with them now with my job. Today Abby Wambach was going for her 100th international goal in her hometown of Rochester, N.Y. I can't imagine the pressure. She broke her leg a little more than a year ago missing the Olympics. Now back where all of her friends and family are she's trying to score a historic goal. Beth Mowins reminded the audience numerous times she averages a goal every 97 minutes but things were looking tough early. Abby was trying to get free but it wasn't until the 78th minute when Lauren Cheney (the player who took Abby's place on the Olympic roster) fed Abby and she slipped one to the far post side netting for the goal. ESPN showed Abby celebrate with her teammates and coach and of course panned up to show her parents who were celebrating just as much. It has to be a cool feeling to score 100 international goals... but I think it has to be an even better feeling to score 100 international goals with your parents enjoying it just as much.

Just a thought or two to ponder on fine sunday... I leave you with the historic toast marking the 27th anniversary of my birth :)