funny...

Sometimes I get in a mood where I just want to laugh... I'm on the verge of letting people and things take control... things out of my control that I just need to let go! So... here's to laughter! My favorite is to be hanging out with a friend and something come over us and we just can't stop laughing. It is refreshing to get a good laugh... and healthy too!

As previously documented Monday night meant an evening of the Bachelorette... and Tuesday morning meant getting all of the inside scoop on the web. My favorite line of the day was a recap that described cheater Justin's exit as... "Ali and Chris chase him down, but given that Justin has a bum ankle, the 'chase' felt more like a police officer trying to stop someone on a lawn mower."

I can always go to Kelly Clarkson for a good laugh... I reminisced this weekend watching her Behind These Hazel Eyes video... the bloopers are definitely the best part... I could sit and watch funny ones all night long!

Here's to laughter!

remember...

It's not often I write a blog two days in a row. During the school year I can go weeks without writing. Some part of my brain wakes up during the summer when I can read more... watch movies more... I think more. Sometimes good and sometimes not so good.

First of all I finished another book today. Not sure if I've told you before but I'm a big Karen Kingsbury fan. She writes Christian fiction and I've been caught up in her books for years. She has carried the story of one family through four different series of four books (as in 16 if I did my math correctly!) with another series on the way. I get caught up in the characters fictional or not and it reminds me of who I want to be. They're not short, but usually an easy read that I can finish in a day or two. This is good because I'm dying to get to the end, not so good when I have wait months to get the next book.

I also watched "Remember Me" today. I had no idea what to expect... I think it came out in the middle of "Dear John" and "Last Song" mania and other than twilight fans going out to see Robert Pattinson... most people missed it. I was expecting a cheesy, fluffy chick flick but there really was substance. Documented numerous times before, I'm a sucker for a good voiceover and Pattinson's charcter Tyler Hawkins wrapped up the movie well with...

Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it because nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says: "You're nowhere near ready". And the other half says: "Make her yours forever". Michael, Caroline asked me what would I say if I knew you could hear me. I said: "I do know. I love you. God, I miss you, and I forgive you.

I don't think everything I do in life will be insignificant. I live my life based on my belief that I made the most significant decision of my life to believe in God and have a personal relationship with Him. I can't completely talk about the quote without giving away the movie, but let's say it left an impression. The tagline is "live in the moments." I want to live in the moments...

walking...

It's been a fairly busy week. Not busy in comparison to the school year, but busy for summer. I bought my house two years ago and for the past two years I have dreamed about having a standard size oven. It really started as just an oven but two years later and I've purchased cabinets, counter tops on my way to a new oven and perhaps more appliances, flooring and lighting. My house is obviously the largest purchase I've ever made, but this kitchen renovation is probably going to end up being second on the list. Here's to hoping I don't ruin it with my inability to match colors or make decisions.

I also made an attempt at golf today. I got clubs three years ago and thought I was off to a promising start after a couple of lessons from my now brother-in-law, but once he solidified his position in the family I think my golf career took a back seat. :) Every year I work our school's golf tournament I insist I have to learn by the following year. The problem... I'm not always patient at learning new things especially due to my competitiveness. Anyone that knew me during the springs of 1999 and 2000 when I was desperately trying to become a lacrosse all-star knows I can expect miraculous results fast and I don't always handle the reality of my skills very well.

My friend Scott claims golf is one of the two things in the world you don't have to be good at to enjoy. I tried to think of things I'm not good at that I enjoy. Bowling perhaps? But even then I have to totally make it a joke because if I actually kept trying and sucked then I might get mad. Singing? Ha ok I do enjoy singing and I'm not definitely not good at it but I would also never pursue a competitive singing environment. The question reminded me of this week's "Losing it with Jillian" when the dad was afraid to try and fail so he just didn't try. Thankfully I haven't totally adopted his lifestyle, but it was a reminder to be careful.

I just finished a John Eldredge book, Walking with God. It took me awhile but really made a point to finish it this week. Some highlights for me...

- "You can't find or keep good friends while you are still an irritating person to be around. And there is no way love can flourish while you are still controlling. You can't find your real purpose in life while you're still lavishly serving other people's expectations of you. You can't find peace while you're ruled by fear. You can't enjoy what you have while you're envying what the other guy[/girl] has."
- From a section on the agreements we've made about love.. "What do I believe about love? That it never stays... My life felt like a series of people leaving. -Jesus, what do I do with this? -Give it to me. -Okay. I give this to you Jesus. I let it go. Your love stays. I can trust your love. I renounce the agreement I made that love never stays. I invite you into the pain that brought it, all the losses. Come and heal my heart in this place. Free my heart to trust in love, in your love."
- quote from an ad Eldredge saw... "To love winter, or to love anything or anybody, you must let go and give yourself over to it."
- "I can let my disappointments define my life. Or I can let them take me back to God, to find my life in him in ways I have not yet learned. The rest remains a mystery. But this is enough to know."
- Eldredge recounts a time when he invited his teenage sons to go bird hunting one weekend and they all turned him down. In an attempt not to sulk he prays, "I know I don't want to punish them for not choosing me. Jesus, help me to love them even when they turn me down... Help me to love them as they pull away." It occurred to him that too often we treat God the same way his sons treat him and yet God is "more gracious and long-suffering than I can ever say."

To get your web-surfing fix for the week...
1. Christina and Ali... good singers.. probably not the best but have defied the odds sisters singing with cystic fibrosis.
2. who didn't love Cory and Topanga? As I went looking for Danielle Fishel I found videos from her career as the host of "the dish" on the style network... some funny ones for sure.
3. Big news in reality tv world... Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi call it quits (you know it's big news when it's on CNN) and the bachelor is going to air a post-break-up "emotionally charged" interview July 5. Meanwhile Ali Fedotowsky is down to seven guys as we wait to find out who has girlfriends (yes plural) back home. ABC is capitalizing on the drama by adding a new show to premiere Aug. 9 called the "Bachelor Pad" where they put former cast-offs from the Bachelor and the Bachelorette together in a house to compete for money. Sounds like a mix of Big Brother and Real World but since Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft are hosting you know I'll find time for it!

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt... and go out to dance with the joyful." (Jeremiah 31:3-4)

friday...

I watched "The Last Song" today. It came out forever ago, but I insisted on reading the book before seeing the movie. I always like the book better and "The Last Song" was no different.

I found a note next to my bed from when I read the book with a scribbled page number. I went back today and read Will's description of his sister Megan.

"For a long time, she had flitted from one guy to the next, but not out of vanity or flightiness. When he'd asked why she seemed unable to settled down, her answer had been straightforward: 'There are guys who grow up thinking they'll settle down some distant time in the future, and there are guys who are ready for marriage as soon as they meet the right person. The former bore me, mainly because they're pathetic; and the latter, quite frankly, are hard to find. But it's the serious ones I'm interested in, and it takes time to find a guy like that whom I'm equally interested in. I mean, if the relationship can't survive the long term, why on earth would it be worth my time and energy for the short term?'"

Sometimes I wish I could meet fictional characters and Megan was one of them. I felt like she was speaking my language... perhaps not flitting from one guy to the next but still searching for a relationship that would survive the long term thereby making it worth my short term.

To get your web surfing fix of the day...
1. Nate Kenyon... I'm not sure what I like more... his story or his nervousness... especially because he moves on to Vegas

2. Michael Grimm... another good singer

3. Defying Gravity... one of coolest dance acts (if you could categorize it as dance) I've ever seen

4. A message of hope from Nick Vujicic... such a cool story... and timely in the midst of world cup fever

5. Lindsey Nobles blog of the week... Lindsey invited other bloggers to guest-blog on her site relative to the song "How He Loves Us" written by John Mark McMillan and made popular by David Crowder Band... some good thoughts there...

914 miles later...

During the school year... aka from August through May... I don't get to leave town very often and when I do it's usually for work. I was so anxious to go home for Memorial Day weekend and spend some time with my family and I had already planned another trip to Maryland for June to see some of my closest friends.

I spent Friday night with my parents celebrating Father's Day. No, you didn't miss it... it's really not until this Sunday but since I was home a week early, we celebrated a week early. I have planning my dad's gift since Christmas... so anxious to give him Orioles tickets. He has season tickets to the Ravens and goes to every home game, but admitted last year he actually likes the Orioles better (shock: yes someone does still route for the Orioles!). He used to get tickets at least once a year through his work but hadn't the last couple of years. I have rounded up the fam and we'll all get to spend some quality time together at Camden Yards later this summer. I can't wait!

On Saturday I set out to say goodbye to one of my favorite houses. Over the last 14 years I have grown up with the Riley family. I could talk for days about the laughs, the tears, the good days and the hard days, but I recently read a suggestion to keep blogs under 350 words! However I have made it a point to visit the Rileys or some portion of their family at least every Christmas and summer since 1996. I have spent many nights in their home and have so many fond memories. Mr. Bill and Mrs. Clarissa are getting ready to move and while I've heard so many good things about the new digs, it was bittersweet to leave on Saturday. I'm grateful for the quality time over the years... even Saturday despite it being a quick trip.

I also had the pleasure of making a trip to the booming metropolis that is Manassas to hang out with Laura, Kenny and Kaeden. Kaeden still has a few weeks (I hope) before he makes his true first appearance but I was so excited to spend time with the soon-to-be parents. I was able to worship at Quest with them and spend the rest of the day relaxing. It was an amazing weekend even with all of the driving.

Some suggestions for your web surfing...
1. my high school boy's lax team won the state championship... and has me so proud beyond their win
2. my friend Bianca Juarez (friend might be a stretch... "blogger I read" is more accurate) tweeted about her co-worker Sarah Markley and I now read her blog too... her story = amazing
3. my intern this summer has taken a project and sprinted away with it... watch the Monarch Hot Seat videos... could potentially be more funny to me because I know the people but I know Tyler could appreciate the youtube views :)
4. kelly clarkson's back-up singers... jill and kate = also amazing... videos... blog... they do it all

juliet...

It's been almost a year ago since I met Juliet. Well I guess I haven't officially met her in person, but almost a year ago, I found Juliet through Compassion, a Christian child advocacy ministry and decided to sponsor her. I had always been skeptical about organizations like Compassion and I was never ready for the financial commitment.

Last summer I was feeling a tad lost within myself and I needed something outside of myself to hold onto... Juliet became a great outlet for me and I have loved supporting her and getting to know her. She lives with her mom and dad in Ghana... she doesn't need anyone to adopt her... but my money goes towards providing Juliet with more opportunities for bible teaching, health screening, vaccinations, social activities, etc. In reality, I've found it's not about the money (which they appreciate) and it's not about Compassion (which I think is a well-respected ministry) but it's so much more about the difference a child makes.

Every time I get a letter from Juliet, it makes my day. Almost 10 years old, she has drawn me pictures and written letters with questions and stories. They're never long, but I can't help but read them over and over again in an attempt to feel more connected to someone more than 5,000 miles away.

Yesterday was long... not necessarily bad long just long. I had a great time watching some MU guys play the Swamp Dogs and then celebrated Scrub Oaks anniversary with some friends from work. When I got home I was relieved to have mail from Juliet. Compassion provided her with a prompt letter for her to ask me questions, give me a prayer request and one of the coolest parts was... "Child's prayer for Sponsor." Juliet said, "I want God to protect you so that live long. Amen." Simple but heartfelt and just what I needed.

Juliet asked that I pray for her parents' work. I'd love it if you could also pray for Juliet and her family. The more people lifting her up, the better! The verse she sent me is Psalm 122:1 "I was glad when they said to me, 'Let us go to the Lord's house.'" If only we could look at life through the lens of Juliet.

june...

June! I feel like we were just celebrating the new year! Don't get me wrong I've had a busy five months since then, but I definitely feel like time just speeds up as you get older. I'm doing my best to slow down and really soak it in before this all passes me by...

First on the agenda... I have successfully made it to June without air conditioning. The ceremonial date to turn on the a/c will probably depend on the next time I have guests. It can come off a little too cheapskate-esque to not have a/c in June... in North Carolina. I've thought about hosting theme parties... bathing suit party... or a weight loss sauna party... the heat just becomes part of the decorations helping the guests get "in the mood."

I am just returning from a great weekend at home. I spent some quality time with my family and saw a few friends. My older sister showed amazing hospitality letting my friend and I stay at her house for a couple of nights... My youngest nephew gave up his bed for me... My parents spent way too much money to take me out to a local staple so I could have crabs... My mom made my favorite homecooked meal and packed up bags of goodies for me to take back... My former boss and family shared their pool with me... and my friend Dennis let me tag along Saturday to watch some lax and mooch some food.

I have a habit of overanalyzing situations and this weekend would have been the perfect opportunity for my head to get the best of me. I'm sure I still wandered off track occasionally, but I really wanted to focus on being in the moment... enjoying the break without second guessing or playing games. Thank you for those of you praying... I'm still praying... for continued guidance and patience.

Meanwhile I have another trip home planned in the very near future to see my best friend Laura and her family... preferably before she gives birth! I can't wait to meet Kaeden... but I also want him to wait as long as possible to keep both of them healthy! Please keep them in your prayers!

Spiritually... I have really tried to make sure my relationship with God comes first. I can be a bit of a perfectionist and sometimes make my spirituality more of a to-do list of things I can check off to ensure I'll be "ok." I've found that while it may help me appear ok on the outside... it doesn't work on the inside. I am seeking a relationship that doesn't rely on a good day or a retreat pick-me-up but is based on the original love that God first showed us... independent of circumstances or people around me. One of my favorite bloggers, Bianca Juarez, reminded readers today that blogs and devotionals cannot replace getting in the actual bible and studying for yourself. It seems ironic to use blogs to make a point within a blog about not relying on blogs but here comes another... I also read a blog from Jimmy Needham's wife about her search for a husband and how she had to change her mentality... such a good read... such a good reminder.

Television... you know you can get a solid recap here! Season finales... One Tree Hill, Grey's Anatomy, Mercy, Lost... they're all over. I even tuned into the American Idol finale in order to catch Kelly Clarkson... definitely worth it! In their absence I have a new season of Bachelorette (this week's deleted scene) and America's Got Talent while Army Wives continues. The tv could become obsessive but I try to keep it just as an escape mechanism to get away from the stress of work.

Random... one of the Women's Professional Soccer teams, the St. Louis Athletica, folded last week. It took me back to Sept. 15, 2003 when all eight teams in the Women's United Soccer Association folded while I was working for one of the teams, the Carolina Courage. I don't know the details of the decision other than the investors ran out of money and the league office didn't think it was possible to keep the team going under their supervision... I hope it wasn't fiscal irresponsibility, but either way I feel for the players, staff and fans going through what is not an easy time.

Some stuff to check out...
1. Future Funk from America's Got Talent... just aired tonight so can't link but please look them up... so cute!
2. Bianca Juarez's blog... will keep plugging this chick
3. Kelly Clarkson and Chris Daughtry cover "Fast Cars"... wow I'm a sucker for duets but love this!
4. Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox... speaking of duets :)
5. Jennie Finch on MTV's "When I Was 17"... you have to catch her signature dance move!
6. "Leave Me" trailer... cool concept to make you think
7. Matt Maher's "Hold Us Together"... bonus: story behind the song!

Ok that's enough for one night but let me know if you have any good stuff to share!!