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Friday, June 25, 2010

walking...

It's been a fairly busy week. Not busy in comparison to the school year, but busy for summer. I bought my house two years ago and for the past two years I have dreamed about having a standard size oven. It really started as just an oven but two years later and I've purchased cabinets, counter tops on my way to a new oven and perhaps more appliances, flooring and lighting. My house is obviously the largest purchase I've ever made, but this kitchen renovation is probably going to end up being second on the list. Here's to hoping I don't ruin it with my inability to match colors or make decisions.

I also made an attempt at golf today. I got clubs three years ago and thought I was off to a promising start after a couple of lessons from my now brother-in-law, but once he solidified his position in the family I think my golf career took a back seat. :) Every year I work our school's golf tournament I insist I have to learn by the following year. The problem... I'm not always patient at learning new things especially due to my competitiveness. Anyone that knew me during the springs of 1999 and 2000 when I was desperately trying to become a lacrosse all-star knows I can expect miraculous results fast and I don't always handle the reality of my skills very well.

My friend Scott claims golf is one of the two things in the world you don't have to be good at to enjoy. I tried to think of things I'm not good at that I enjoy. Bowling perhaps? But even then I have to totally make it a joke because if I actually kept trying and sucked then I might get mad. Singing? Ha ok I do enjoy singing and I'm not definitely not good at it but I would also never pursue a competitive singing environment. The question reminded me of this week's "Losing it with Jillian" when the dad was afraid to try and fail so he just didn't try. Thankfully I haven't totally adopted his lifestyle, but it was a reminder to be careful.

I just finished a John Eldredge book, Walking with God. It took me awhile but really made a point to finish it this week. Some highlights for me...
- "You can't find or keep good friends while you are still an irritating person to be around. And there is no way love can flourish while you are still controlling. You can't find your real purpose in life while you're still lavishly serving other people's expectations of you. You can't find peace while you're ruled by fear. You can't enjoy what you have while you're envying what the other guy[/girl] has."
- From a section on the agreements we've made about love.. "What do I believe about love? That it never stays... My life felt like a series of people leaving. -Jesus, what do I do with this? -Give it to me. -Okay. I give this to you Jesus. I let it go. Your love stays. I can trust your love. I renounce the agreement I made that love never stays. I invite you into the pain that brought it, all the losses. Come and heal my heart in this place. Free my heart to trust in love, in your love."
- quote from an ad Eldredge saw... "To love winter, or to love anything or anybody, you must let go and give yourself over to it."
- "I can let my disappointments define my life. Or I can let them take me back to God, to find my life in him in ways I have not yet learned. The rest remains a mystery. But this is enough to know."
- Eldredge recounts a time when he invited his teenage sons to go bird hunting one weekend and they all turned him down. In an attempt not to sulk he prays, "I know I don't want to punish them for not choosing me. Jesus, help me to love them even when they turn me down... Help me to love them as they pull away." It occurred to him that too often we treat God the same way his sons treat him and yet God is "more gracious and long-suffering than I can ever say."

To get your web-surfing fix for the week...
1. Christina and Ali... good singers.. probably not the best but have defied the odds sisters singing with cystic fibrosis.
2. who didn't love Cory and Topanga? As I went looking for Danielle Fishel I found videos from her career as the host of "the dish" on the style network... some funny ones for sure.
3. Big news in reality tv world... Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi call it quits (you know it's big news when it's on CNN) and the bachelor is going to air a post-break-up "emotionally charged" interview July 5. Meanwhile Ali Fedotowsky is down to seven guys as we wait to find out who has girlfriends (yes plural) back home. ABC is capitalizing on the drama by adding a new show to premiere Aug. 9 called the "Bachelor Pad" where they put former cast-offs from the Bachelor and the Bachelorette together in a house to compete for money. Sounds like a mix of Big Brother and Real World but since Chris Harrison and Melissa Rycroft are hosting you know I'll find time for it!

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt... and go out to dance with the joyful." (Jeremiah 31:3-4)

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