february

It's been seven months since I left knoxvegas. I don't think I could have ever predicted where I'd be today. Okay I'm sure this might have made the list at some point, because this was always my back up plan, I'm just not sure I was going to rely on the back up plan for seven months. There are some different opinions about living at home... particularly living at home after graduating from college... or after graduating twice. Some people can only dream about having an opportunity to go home and save some money, take a break to regroup and map out the next step. Others only have nightmares about having to be confined to the "prison" of their parents' humble abode. Whether you have dreams or nightmares about living at home... I can't please you... I can't complain to the dreamers because they picture paradise and I can't be happy around the nightmare sufferers because they cringe at my failure to move on with life. So I gave up trying to appease the masses (at least on this issue)... is this where I want to be? No. Am I grateful to be here? Yes. This is where I need to be today. I don't know where I'll be next month, let alone next year, but I'm trying to breathe in every aspect of this... here... in this moment... the place I couldn't wait to come back to a year ago. Is the grass always greener? I'm not so sure.

"There had been times in the city at Tante's, or dancing in Linda's basement, or fishing off the dock in Kingston, that I was excited with what life had given me. Times I felt perfectly complete. Then I left all of that. I went too far to go back, but I didn't know that until I was grasping for something familiar and safe and there wasn't anything for me to hold on to." -- Carole Radziwill