a twitter sidenote...

Anyone that knows anything about developing a blog following will tell you to find a theme and stick with it. I've never been very good at that and tonight is no different. I'm going on an educational rant about twitter... 

I'm not a twitter expert. I don't have anywhere near the following of anyone who is somebody in twitter terms. On the other hand, I have been on twitter longer than most and was tweeting before anyone was really listening. I've watched it grow and change and I'd like to think I get it. With that said... here are my tips of the trade... some things I think are essential for anyone, but especially for people using twitter for work or to develop a brand. 

1. The period. If I'm following you and you start a tweet with @justinbieber and I don't follow him, your tweet won't show up in my feed. I could still go to your "profile" (twitter.com/username) and see the tweet so it's not really private, but unless I'm checking profiles often (most people don't) I won't read it. That's helpful when you're having a conversation you may not want to broadcast (maybe you don't want me to make fun of you for tweeting Justin Bieber) but if you're trying to get information out, you're missing your audience. I've seen this most often with institutions or teams starting their tweet with a handle and making an announcement. If the Ravens tweet (without quotes) "@raylewis is retiring at the end of the season" only people who follow @raylewis will see the tweet. Of course you hope your audience is already following him, but it can be part of your marketing to get your news out... and his handle so all of the people who aren't following him will see his handle and start following. 

Opportunities: 

- Start your tweet with anything else... "Today @raylewis announced he will retire at the end of the season."

- The big trend now is just to start with a period. ".@raylewis is retiring at the end of the season"

2. Hashtag interruption. I would guess the most common complaint about hashtags would be their length. If I have to read it three times to understand it, it's too long. My biggest hashtag pet peeve is all those hashtags that are interrupted by punctuation. Part of this depends on your intention with a hashtag. Sometimes we just use hashtags to imply sarcasm or some kind of humor. The greater use comes in when you're developing a brand or trying to create community amongst your fans. If I tweet about the Tennessee Lady Vols and use the hashtag #LadyVols I can search for or click on the hashtag in my tweet and see everyone else in the world (with public accounts or people I follow) who has tweeted using that hashtag. Some sports teams have tried using a different hashtag for each game and I think that's asking a lot of your fanbase. I'd recommend keeping it simple. But back to my interrupters... too often I see people use a hashtag like #TexasA&M. As soon as you put the & you're breaking the hashtag. Now you can still search for everyone who has tweeted #TexasA&M, but if you try to click on the hashtag, you're going to find everyone who tweeted the hashtag #TexasA. 

Opportunitities: 

- Keep your hashtags simple. The shorter the better. 

- Don't use punctuation!! 

3. The mute blessing. I use echofon on my iphone to access twitter. As a disclaimer, I've never used the general Twitter app and I haven't tried any other apps, so there might be some advantages to something else, but I'm a huge fan of echofon. The biggest reason... the mute option. I follow more than 300 people/organizations and I'm sure more than half of them are people I've never met. If any of these people tweet ridiculousness I can unfollow them... no harm, no foul. If one of my friends/acquaintances starts tweeting ridiculousness, I don't want to unfollow them and potentially offend them or miss out on something, but I don't want to be brought down by their mess so I can mute them on echofon. Muting allows me to still click on their profile and read their tweets, they don't know their muted, but I'm not depressed by their negativity or repulsed by their vulgarity. Again... no harm, no foul. 

Opportunities: 

- Mute until your heart's content and then find some positive, funny, encouraging people/organizations to follow! 

- My other favorite trick is to block people's retweets. Some people retweet too much or retweet accounts that are offensive or stupid. Most often I block retweets from celebrities who just retweet annoying fans asking for retweets. If you log onto twitter from a computer and go to the account's profile and click the drop down head and shoulders, you can turn off retweets for individual accounts. 

4. Bloggers' replay. This one is just a personal pet peeve that real bloggers would tell you to ignore me, but... I can't stand when bloggers tweet their post more than once. I'm sure the strategy is to make sure you reach your entire audience, but I check my timeline all the time so I see them all... you can't miss me. My biggest frustration is when a blogger tricks me and rewords the teaser in a way that makes me think it's a new post when it's really the same one I read last night. 

Opportunities: 

- Completely ignore me and keep blasting your followers so they read your blog. 

- Tweet your blog post at a time when the majority of your followers are awake and checking their twitter. Friday night at 8 p.m. might not be a good time if everyone's out living life off of social media and Tuesday at 7 a.m. might not be great if everyone's still sleeping and your tweet gets buried when they wake up. 

- I have a ton of respect for those who acknowledge they're posting it again (and keep me from getting faked out :)... "In case you missed it last night, here's my new blog..." or "Here's my latest blog post for the afternoon crowd..."

adios 2012...

I know there are some people purely relieved to say goodbye to 2012. Many people use a new year to mark a fresh start and it's helpful to have a mile marker so to speak to give us a chance to really move past whatever might have held us back the year before.

I just re-read my "farewell 2012" blog and the things I learned in 2011... I spent a lot of time reminding myself and sometimes relearning in 2012. I think that's how it goes sometimes. At the same time I don't want to get caught up in wishing away an entire year or an experience because something went wrong. There were a lot of really good things that happened in 2012 and I'm choosing to focus on them as I step into 2013!

My highlights from 2012... in chronological order (I think!)...
1. took a trip to Funchester and hung out with friends before surprising MU women's basketball
2. surprised my mom making it home in time for her birthday dinner
3. flew to Baltimore and back to NC in a day to see the Ravens win a playoff game
4. Vonta Leach retweeted me (sometimes it's the little things :)
5. an awesome man at Snyder's encouragement
6. learned more about forgiveness
7. youth Sunday at Snyder
8. my neighbor and cousin cut my grass when my lawn mower broke
9. ate lunch in the lion's den three times in one day
10. Easter Jam
11. nerd herd reunion in Burlington
12. a day doing absolutely nothing but watching movies
13. Sugarland concert
14. solid night in Raleigh with friends
15. experienced Parker's for the first time
16. my great-aunt turned 104
17. experienced the Sandbar for the first time
18. new lighting in my kitchen
19. first trip to NYC
20. sweet speed boat ride in Charleston
21. friends who helped me survive no AC in NC summer heat
22. all-American 4th of July
23. fun parental visit
24. a new job
25. spent my 30th birthday with my second family
26. Pat Summitt autograph from amazing friends
27. tons of help prepping my house for sale and packing for the move
28. goodbye lunches/dinners
29. FaceTiming during FCA
30. reuniting with MD friends and fam
31. MU volleyball in DC
32. my parents celebrated 35th anniversary
33. Mississippi visit
34. survived Sandy with no damage
35. introduced Lindsey at HOF induction
36. MU women's basketball in PA
37. sometimes my little sister is stronger than me
38. Thanksiving with the family
39. Boy Meets World sequel is official :)
40. shopping with my sisters
41. praying in three languages
42. Christmas celebrations with family and friends

those highlights not limited to a specific day...
43. medical miracles
44. countless lunches and dinners with friends and family
45. dated an amazing guy
46. swimming/laying out at other people's pools
47. four of my friends had healthy babies
48. my mom's homemade meals
49. others keeping an eye on my house
50. NC visits
51. snail mail
52. free movies
53. playing soccer again
54. Orioles and Ravens games
55. family birthday dinners
56. sermons and tv shows to pass the time during the commute
57. video webcasting during games
58. high school friends' 30th birthday reunions
59. read more books
60. helped a friend or two

How can I regret or wish away 2012 when so many good things happened? Here's to hoping 2013 is even better!

Immanuel...

On the way to church tonight for the Christmas Eve service, I was struck by how many people are spending Christmas alone. While I don't think the purpose of Christmas is family, it is such a comfort to celebrate with family. It is one of two holidays I've managed to ensure I'm always with family (Thanksgiving being the other). I honestly can't fathom not being with people I love and care about during such an important day.

On top of that, being alone is probably one of my biggest fears. Now don't get me wrong, I love to spend time by myself. I've never been great at having roommates, and as much as I can be perceived as loud and outgoing, I can sink into my own head so easily and crave time to decompress by myself. However, it is a comfort to know I can always come home and be surrounded by family when I need them or just need to be around people. It is always reassuring to know I have friends who I could call and they would drop everything if I needed them. And I'm still praying I'll find a man who I can spend the rest of my life with... eventually.

All that to say, there are people not as fortunate. We think a lot about those less fortunate financially during the holidays. There are toy drives and adopt-a-family programs and tons of ways to support those who might be hungry or cold or going without toys this Christmas. I don't want to take anything away from them or what they might be going through. I just have really felt it pressed on my heart tonight to lift up those people who might be surrounded by material possessions, in a warm house, with the world at their fingertips... but alone. I'm praying everyone has someone they can spend Christmas with... and if I knew of someone who needed a place to go tomorrow I'd make room at our table.

Sometimes when someone complains about feeling alone, the easy "Sunday School" answer is to remind them we're never alone, because God is with us. It doesn't always feel like enough to know this being we can't see and can't always here is with us and it can feel like empty encouragement. Our church played a video tonight during the service, reminding us of the verse from Matthew 1:23... "'The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel' (which means 'God with us')."

Too often, I have sped right past that. There are so many names for God, it's easy to take them for granted. "God with us" just sat with me tonight and I was reminded... even when it feels empty or not enough... God is enough because he sent His son to be God with us. We are never alone... even when it's Christmas... even when we feel like we're alone... We are never alone.

Check it out:

gratitude...

This month has been full of friends sharing the list of things they're thankful for on Facebook. Some may argue we shouldn't have to wait until a particular Thursday in November to be thankful. Others may celebrate the chance to really stop and be thankful, especially as the pace of life continues to speed up. 

I want to do both. I want to be thankful every day, but I also want to set this day apart to really stop and soak it in. 

I will always be thankful for my faith and my family. My faith has probably grown more in the last 15 months than it has in a long time. God continues to challenge me and push me to dig in closer to Him. It is my instinct to fall into myself and those around me and He keeps calling me out. Since moving, I've been blessed by my parents' church along with plenty of other sermons from solid pastors/speakers like Steven Furtick, Andy Stanley and Lysa Terkeurst that challenge me to keep pursuing Him first. 

One of the biggest reasons for me to come home was to spend more time with my family. If I didn't receive confirmation when I had the chance to go to the first three Ravens' games with my dad, I was reminded when 16 of us went to dinner for my dad's 70th birthday. Those are the moments I missed the most when I was in NC. It wasn't the end of the world when I wasn't here, but it meant the world to me to be able to be here, especially for such a cool milestone. I want to be here for my family when we're hurting, when we're celebrating, and everything in between. 

At the same time, while I'm able to be here for all those things I've missed in Maryland, now I'm missing them in North Carolina. Too often, I wish I could be two places at once. As thankful as I am for an opportunity to reconnect with friends and family in Maryland, I am just as grateful for my friends in North Carolina who haven't forgotten me. It's so easy for time and space to come between friends. I know it's only been a few months and next Thanksgiving I may be singing a different song... but today, I am thankful for my friends who have helped me during this transition... I've had good days and bad days, but it is such a comfort to know I have people I can call/text/write/FaceTime/e-mail and celebrate the good or vent the bad. 

I'm thankful for my new job that gave me a fresh start and more flexibility on nights and weekends. I've been working hard to reclaim my life and find hobbies outside of work. One of my favorites has definitely been playing soccer every week. Every Sunday night I get to reconnect with former (I would say old, but we're in denial) high school teammates and take out some stress on the field. I love the competition and just being back on the field.

I want to be thankful for my house even though it hasn't sold yet. I know this isn't an ideal time to sell (and not lose money) and I don't want to become bitter about it. I have a lot of great memories in that house and I will always be grateful for my first house. I am absolutely thankful for my parents' patience and understanding while I crash at their place during this "extended" transition!

I'm soaking in and stocking up the gratitude today in hopes it will exude from me all year long. 

good luck me...

If you have seen the movie "Good Luck Chuck" you might remember the premise is Dane Cook's character has a "curse" that has made him wildly popular with single women: Sleep with Charlie once, and the next man you meet will be your true love. If you haven't seen the movie, I don't recommend it. It's typical Dane Cook which I tend to find crude and usually unbearable. However, this story line happens to be relatable... particularly when you're single and 30.

Lately, I've started to think I'm the female version of "Chuck" without the sex. It seems after a relationship doesn't work out with me, "the one" is just around the bend. Perhaps it's mere coincidence particularly with two engagements in the last two months, but I'm beginning to think I might have a marketable skill here. 

There are a couple of common responses once an ex gets engaged... (and I use the term "ex" loosely since neither relationship was facebook official and because that is the top authority on relationships this note is important) 

1. Drown yourself in "what ifs" and a tub of ice cream. This is probably the most common response especially for girls. Either way, when someone else finds your ex desirable enough to marry, it's common practice to ask yourself enlightening questions like "why wasn't I good enough?" or "why didn't I think he/she was good enough?" I'm not sure either line of questioning is helpful and usually this just creates uncomfortable and/or awkward (aka sad) situations all around. 

2. Pat yourself on the back. Had your relationship with the now-engaged lasted any longer, you might have kept them from meeting "the one." Now I'm not necessarily a believer in everyone only has one "the one," but I do think if you find someone, who am I to keep you from them? This might work better depending on if you were the breaker or the breakee but neither is good. I despise being the breaker and hurting people... especially if you really choose to base a relationship on a prior friendship and not only do you lose a boy/girlfriend but a friend. There is always some relief in me when someone I ended things with finds their person (this is not a Grey's reference). It gives me confirmation I made the right decision and makes me happy that they're happy (this is based on the assumption engaged people are happy ha). I would congratulate them, but that always seems like it might be misconstrued so I silently congratulate them and give myself that pat on the back. If you're the breakee, maybe it's a little harder to spin the situation, but sometimes I can rest easier knowing it really wasn't meant to be. 

Not being the one is never fun and rarely easy, but I'm happy for those that figured it out. Congratulations!

word censoring...

We could probably all come up with a list of words deemed "off limits." Whether they have been deemed politically incorrect, socially unacceptable, crude or maybe offensive, there have been many words that are considered taboo, at least in certain audiences.

As a Christian, people occasionally debate the use of swear/curse/cuss words. Some debate which words fit into the category and others debate whether they any of them really should be off limits. I would even suggest there are words that some words' meaning have changed as our culture has changed. Depending on where and how you grew up a word may carry no weight compared to someone else in a completely different setting.

Rather than try to jump into either of those debates... I've created my own soap box. Some of my least favorite words or phrases people could say in church, school or work and most people wouldn't bat an eye and yet I cringe every time. They are considered politically correct (or at least not incorrect), socially acceptable and not crude or offensive... or at least it seems.

It seems common for people to express their stress or dissatisfaction with their circumstances with a "kill me now" or maybe a "shoot me now" or just the charade of a gun to the head or a noose around the neck. I hate all of the above. A lot of people would probably say I'm being too sensitive or it's just a joke, but I'm not sure how you can lose friends and family to suicide or even walk along side people who have attempted suicide and throw those words around so loosely. My personal experience with suicide makes those words jump out at me and carry so much more weight. I realize our tendency is to exaggerate or over dramatize without any real threat of suicide, but usually a simple "I'm stressed" or "This is miserable" or even "I'd rather be anywhere other than here" would suffice. Most of the time, things aren't that bad that you would really consider killing yourself. At the same time, if they are that bad, how am I to differentiate between an exaggeration and a cry for help. I don't always trust myself to know the difference and as a result would just prefer to eliminate the exaggerations all together. Please.

three hours and 130 miles...

For the last four years I have had a one-way commute of 1.3 miles. The two years prior it was a whopping mile (shorter if I walked). Tomorrow marks my one month anniversary of a 62-68 mile one-way commute. Some people think I'm crazy... some people have it worse. I feel like I've been spoiled the last six years and I needed to even out my road miles.

I see a lot of miserable faces when I tell people about the drive. When I tell people I'm commuting, the first question is always, "how long?"With no traffic (aka late at night) I can do it in a hour to hour and 15 minutes. I've been averaging closer to hour and a half other than the two hour Friday beach traffic trip and a four hour disaster morning when they closed one span of the bay bridge.

If I had a choice I would absolutely live closer. I suppose technically I have a choice, but I've chosen to pay my bills and in order to do that I need to live with my parents until my house sells. When I first accepted the new job I immediately began scouring the internet for places to live. I've never actually had the opportunity to apartment shop. When I first graduated, my apartment was essentially decided based on my employer. In grad school, my roommate was from Knoxville and picked out our place and in Fayetteville, my roommate was already living there and found us a place. All three apartments were just what I/we needed, but I was excited to pick out something on my own. I was pricing options and asking friends and taking virtual tours. And then I decided to stop looking.

I have no idea how long it's going to take to sell my house, and while I'm praying it's not long... the market is not ideal and the level of interest so far is not a good sign. I want to be content where I am and not constantly pine away for that place on my own. I also know I spent the last six years working at an incredibly high pace. I don't know how often I had three hours to myself and I've been craving a step back. So here I am driving 130ish miles a day and spending a solid three hours bonding with my car. I could be picky and ask God for three hours that didn't cost so much (I'm estimating I'm paying $400 a month on gas which is still cheaper than any apartment I could find close to work) but I think God knows what I need better than I do.

In the meantime, I'm catching up on my neglected 18 days of music on my iPod, listening to sermons, watching tv shows (only in traffic :), and occasionally catching up with friends when I have some spare minutes. Here's to making three hours productive and being content in the here and now! I also wouldn't mind if you'd join me in praying my house would sell... asap!