If you have seen the movie "Good Luck Chuck" you might remember the premise is Dane Cook's character has a "curse" that has made him wildly popular with single women: Sleep with Charlie once, and the next man you meet will be your true love. If you haven't seen the movie, I don't recommend it. It's typical Dane Cook which I tend to find crude and usually unbearable. However, this story line happens to be relatable... particularly when you're single and 30.
Lately, I've started to think I'm the female version of "Chuck" without the sex. It seems after a relationship doesn't work out with me, "the one" is just around the bend. Perhaps it's mere coincidence particularly with two engagements in the last two months, but I'm beginning to think I might have a marketable skill here.
There are a couple of common responses once an ex gets engaged... (and I use the term "ex" loosely since neither relationship was facebook official and because that is the top authority on relationships this note is important)
1. Drown yourself in "what ifs" and a tub of ice cream. This is probably the most common response especially for girls. Either way, when someone else finds your ex desirable enough to marry, it's common practice to ask yourself enlightening questions like "why wasn't I good enough?" or "why didn't I think he/she was good enough?" I'm not sure either line of questioning is helpful and usually this just creates uncomfortable and/or awkward (aka sad) situations all around.
2. Pat yourself on the back. Had your relationship with the now-engaged lasted any longer, you might have kept them from meeting "the one." Now I'm not necessarily a believer in everyone only has one "the one," but I do think if you find someone, who am I to keep you from them? This might work better depending on if you were the breaker or the breakee but neither is good. I despise being the breaker and hurting people... especially if you really choose to base a relationship on a prior friendship and not only do you lose a boy/girlfriend but a friend. There is always some relief in me when someone I ended things with finds their person (this is not a Grey's reference). It gives me confirmation I made the right decision and makes me happy that they're happy (this is based on the assumption engaged people are happy ha). I would congratulate them, but that always seems like it might be misconstrued so I silently congratulate them and give myself that pat on the back. If you're the breakee, maybe it's a little harder to spin the situation, but sometimes I can rest easier knowing it really wasn't meant to be.
Not being the one is never fun and rarely easy, but I'm happy for those that figured it out. Congratulations!
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