worth the wait...

Many of the best things in life are worth the wait. When I take a look at my life from 30,000 feet, I've had it good. Sure, I may not have wanted to wait until 32 to get married or have to move back in with my parents three different times after college... but those things are all tiny periods of waiting in the big scheme of things.

Pregnancy has been another big lesson in waiting. Some people wait years just to get pregnant, while the pregnancy itself sometimes feels like years! When I got pregnant, Steve and I decided not to find out the baby's gender. Sure, the OCD planner in me would love to know every detail about this kid way in advance, but I convinced Steve that we were about to lose complete control and I needed some practice letting go. Since finding out we were pregnant a little more than eight months ago, I haven't really stressed about the gender. Everyone wants to know what I think and I honestly haven't thought about it. I'm preparing myself for a girl, because I think a girl will be a bigger challenge for me, but I know I will be head over heels for Baby D, boy or girl.

As our due date approached, I was getting more excited to meet this kid. Work was slightly stressful trying to prepare to be gone for an extended period of time, but we've been ready at the house for awhile. Everyone tells you to be ready early, but I felt like it was one of those things where if you bring your umbrella, it won't rain. So yesterday, our due date came and went with little fanfare.

I've struggled with the lack of control over Baby D's arrival more than the gender. I like being on time... I like other people being on time and Baby D is already paving his/her own way... which sounds like my kid! Thankfully, my doctor went ahead and scheduled an induction so we have a final eviction notice. Of course I'd love to meet Baby D earlier, but worst case scenario we're planning on welcoming him/her a week from today... one more week.

Sometimes it seems like forever... and other times it feels like it's so close. Until then I'll be avoiding everyone's comments about how I'm STILL pregnant and advice about how to induce labor. I don't really like pineapple, I'm afraid to do jumping jacks at this size without breaking anything, and I have no desire to try castor oil. I'll try hard not to complain (or only complain to Steve) and just look forward to Tuesday... or any time before hint hint Baby D!! Either way, I'm confident this kid will be worth the wait!

I'm still waiting.

Every once in awhile I see a friend post the "I don't wait anymore." blog on Facebook. It was actually written almost two years ago, but still gets plenty of traction. The blogger starts…

When I was 16, I got a purity ring. And when I was 25, I took it off. I didn’t tell anyone I was doing it — it wasn’t a statement or an emotional thing. I just slipped it off my finger that day and, before tucking it away in a box, ran my finger around the words on the familiar gold band. “True Love Waits.” Waits. What’s it “waiting” for, anyway?  

Her story always grabs my attention even though I feel like I've read it countless times. It catches my eye because I have my own "purity ring." I got mine when I was 18, but I didn't wear it much when I was in college. At some point I put it back on. It looks like a wedding band, and it attracts a lot of questions. People usually ask if I'm married and I usually get embarrassed trying to explain what it means or why I wear it. I feel like wearing it on my middle finger of my right hand should be a big enough hint that I'm not married, but people still ask.

The story strikes me because it always makes me question my own motives. What am I waiting for? What's the point of the ring? And when the paranoia really sets in… Is the ring keeping me from getting married?  The blogger took off her ring to make a point that she wasn't going to sit around and wait to start her life when she got married. The blog ends…

I lived like I was waiting for something.
And that’s why I slipped off my ring that day. It wasn’t that I wanted to sleep with people – I haven’t. It wasn’t a slap to True Love Waits, or to anyone who wears a purity ring – saving sex for marriage is good and is His design.
I just didn’t want to wait anymore – didn’t want to live like I was waiting on anyone to get here.
I already have Him … and He is everything. 

I can definitely understand her sentiment and I don't write this as a way to slap anyone who takes off their purity ring. I don't want to waste my life waiting for a man, but my ring doesn't mean True Love Waits for a Husband. My ring just means True Love Waits for a Husband Before Having Sex. 

There have been plenty of times that I think about taking it off again… whenever I re-read the chick's blog for starters! There have been plenty of moments I've wanted to throw the ring away and chuck my commitment right along with it. I don't want my "waiting" to just be another legalistic ritual to prove a point. I don't want my "waiting" to keep me from living. I don't want a ring to define me. 

But I've decided I'm still waiting… not to start living… not to find a husband (although that would be nice)… but I'm waiting to have sex. And I can wear a ring to remind me of my commitment without letting it define me. 

For now… I might change my mind the next time I read the blog.