A year ago I was sleeping.. or attempting to sleep in a hospital room. Lucas Barrett was just over 12 hours old and even though it was my second son, I was just as overwhelmed and just as in love. The worst part was not getting to share everything with Britt since he couldn’t come to the hospital during flu season.
My c-section was much different this time around. Britt came after more than 24 hours of contractions and two hours of pushing. I was wheeled into the operating room on a bed and tossed onto the operating table. This time I walked in and plopped myself onto the table. It was so surreal that I had been there (or an operating room nearby) less than two years earlier and everything felt so different. I was so grateful to have my favorite anesthesiologist to talk me through the surgery. Of course she told me they made the incision and Steve wasn’t in the room yet. I wasn’t worried about him missing anything as much as I worried he would see more than he wanted to walking into the room. After Lucas was born, it felt like forever to hear him cry and then it felt like forever for him to stop crying. Steve told me a friend from church was in the room and I just knew her as a nice doctor.. leaving me terrified something was wrong. Thankfully she checked everything and he was healthy... a healthy 8 lbs 8 oz for being born six days early.
I still had insecurities with Lucas and I still fumbled my way through or rather active tense fumbling. It absolutely gets easier the second time around when you know a little more what to expect, but you also really forget things.. even if you just did it two years ago.
I am so proud of us for getting through the last year. Two boys two and under is not easy, but so worth it.
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