timing...

I'm not very good at trusting God's timing. I'm kind of a planner and sometimes he doesn't let me in on his plans and it stresses me out. It's also typically taboo to talk about personal finances, but I'm about to be more open than usual when it comes to my moolah (aka money).

I bought a house in May 2008. Everyone told me I was throwing away money by renting and I could probably even get a mortgage that was less than my rent. Well… I got a few things wrong in that deal. First of all I was paying $400 a month to share a two-bedroom apartment and insisted on buying a four-bedroom house so my little sister and two friends could live with me. I bought a house in a city with two universities and a pretty big army base that were supposed to guarantee me a safety net in an unsteady economy. I protected myself with roommates to help me pay my mortgage and a city full of potential renters should I ever decide to move. I think I even thought it might be my first of tons of rental properties to make me "rich."

Some of the problems with my decision…

...the roommate situation ended and I wasn't sure I wanted roommates again. In the summer of 2009, I began living by myself and I loved it… that is except for the mortgage. It worked for awhile until I "had" to buy a new car in the summer of 2011. Things were a little tight, but I always made it work. In the same breath, I always wondered how things might be different if only I could keep roommates.

…I bought  a house built in the 60s with bathrooms smaller than the typical closet in a house built today. This is not a strong selling point, but I wanted a house that could stand the test of 20-somethings living in it.

…I took the first-time homebuyer's credit. In 2008, if you bought a house for the first time, the government gave you an interest-free loan of $7,500. You were free and clear for two years before they started making you pay it back, $500 every year as long as you owned the house (as in if you sold the house you had to pay it all back). It sounded like a pretty good deal. Worst case scenario I could throw it in a CD or something and make a little money off of it. Best case scenario I could use it for some home improvements and increase the value of my house. Of course it stung a little when they changed the rules in 2009 and made the first-time homebuyer credit an $8,000 gift.

…I decided to move away. As previously documented, I took a job in Maryland and my house was on the market for more than a year before selling in September 2013. Thanks to some awesome number crunching from my realtor, I signed over the house without having to bring any money to the table. I didn't make any money, but I didn't have to pay anything either. At the time it felt like I escaped… it even appeared as if I broke even. And yet the whole point of buying over renting was to be able to own a house, sell a house and walk away with something. On top of the money I had "lost" in the mortgage and home improvements, I was dreading April 15 when I would have to pay the remainder of the tax credit back to the government.

… I was afraid to rent my house. Everyone said my house was in a great location to rent, but I was worried about being six hours away. I was worried renters would mess it up. I was worried I couldn't get enough in rent to cover my costs. I was worried if I rented it and found my own place, that the renting thing wouldn't work out and I'd be stuck with mortgage and rent… which I knew I couldn't afford. And yet I kept living in Maryland and paying for a mortgage in North Carolina… that I only got to enjoy once a month or every two months.

…My car ran into a tree. I don't say that I ran into a tree because I had absolutely no control over the car. However, every day I am thankful for that tree, because it kept me and my two precious passengers from harm. I paid $500 for two tow trucks to rescue my car and kept the dent. I needed to wait until tax time to see where I was financially before I went making crazy purchases like a new right quarter panel for my car.

… I moved into a new apartment. After I sold my house I asked my parents if I could stay with them for a few more months to save up for this impending tax bill. Most people who live with their parents are able to save. It's usually one of the saving graces during the humbling process of living with your parents. Unfortunately I was really only able to "save" the last few months… but saving before Christmas is not the easiest thing to do. I was determined to move by January and on January 2 I got the keys to my new place… a place half the size of my house and $100 more expensive a month. Thankfully my gas budget has decreased significantly.

… I was in (another) car accident. Cue the jokes about my bad driving. Two accidents in six months are not good odds and if anyone brings up my prior driving history, there are plenty of jokes (I've had run-ins with a washing machine and a deer on major highways). I admit, I could have been smarter, or maybe more patient, but I also don't feel like it was entirely my fault… even if my insurance company disagrees. Regardless, my car was pretty jacked up… $7,500 worth jacked up not counting the July damage. I spent the weekend trying to figure out where I was going to find my $400 deductible (donating plasma anyone?) and bidding farewell to any dream of having a tv in my living room before summer.

Fast forward a few days. I went to a repair shop to get an estimate on my car. When I talked to the insurance company on Friday they asked if I would need a rental now or just when it went in the shop. I assured them it was drivable so I wouldn't need it until it went in the shop. I messed up and thought this meant that I had rental car coverage in my plan. The kind estimator guy came back with a nice estimate and broke the news to me that I didn't have rental car coverage. He also told me it would take 10 business days or two weeks to fix my car. I had a bit of a meltdown as I tried to figure out how I could walk 10 miles to work or afford a rental car… on top of everything else. I may or may not have stormed out of the guy's office declaring that he could find me "working a corner" to make money for the rental.

Earlier in the day I had picked up my W-2 with the thought of testing out the damage on these taxes. I wanted to know how much I owed, but not have to commit to paying until the last possible moment. I started collecting all the paperwork and let TurboTax crunch the numbers. When it came to the homebuyer's credit I had to input the net purchase price and net sales price to include capital improvements. I kept checking and rechecking numbers and to my surprise… if you lose money on the house, you don't have to pay back the credit. For the first time, I was relieved I lost money on the house! It doesn't help the big picture financial scope of my decisions, but that day… on that day I had enough money for a rental car… and hopefully an undamaged car.

I've learned a lot over the last six years about buying a house, but I never learned more than I did that day about God's faithfulness. I had no idea how I would get to work while my car was in the shop. I kept trying to figure out what God was trying to teach me… that I was an idiot? that I was irresponsible with money? And now… I can't figure out why he keeps showing up and rescuing me. Most of all I want to remember that even if I had to pay back the $5,000 tax credit, there'd still be another answer somewhere. I'm going to take this as God making sure I know he does not want me to strip. :) Steven Furtick gave a sermon about "God moments" awhile back and they always sound like cheesy coincidences when they don't happen to you. From his wife's blog… 

"We learned about the two Greek meanings for the word, time: 

1. Chronos- literal clock time, sequential 

2. Kairos- the right, opportune moment 

He taught us that we must learn to recognize the kairos, 'God moments,' among the chronos, the mundane hours of every day life. He told us that we often miss the moment because we despise the mundane. I loved when he said, 'I don’t have to wait for a visitation because I live in a place of habitation,' and, 'The spirit of emergency is the enemy of of divine opportunity.'"

My life has not been mundane… but oh how I was drowning in the chronos. I am grateful for the reminder. I am grateful for the blessing. I am grateful for just car damage and no one was hurt. Here's to finding the kairos in the chronos.