farewell 2011...

Some call me a thinker... sometimes I call myself an over thinker. Either way, it's not often I let an occasion pass without some reflection.

I've liked 2011. It hasn't been too momentous with any particular event, but neither has it been devastating. Well... don't get me wrong there have been people lost and people hurt, but I've also seen lessons learned and people healed.

What I've learned...

1. life is fragile... I hope I knew this before 2011, but this year has been a reminder. I went to two funerals and that was two too many. Death is never easy and no words ever seem enough. I want to pause and remember the lives lost this year and pray they won't be forgotten.

2. people are struggling... I was/am a pro at masking my emotional and mental battles... or at least I thought so... primarily because I didn't want the stigma that came with it. I'm not supposed to struggle... especially as a Christian. I've felt extreme pressure to "cast my cares on Him" and "do not be anxious about anything" in a way that makes it difficult to share when I am struggling. As much as I don't like to see others struggling, there is some comfort in knowing I'm not alone and praying my struggles might help someone else going through the same thing.

3. mistakes are inevitable... Every time I think I have it together, I'm reminded I have no idea what I'm doing. I date a guy and think I've learned a lesson until I'm trying to talk myself into the same lousy characteristics of a different guy six months later. As strong and independent I try to be, relationships have a way of knocking me sideways, backwards and upside down. I would like to say I learned a lesson from the failed dates of 2011, but I think I'm resolving to know I'll keep making mistakes and keep learning lessons even after I get married.

4. it's ok to make mistakes... I am a perfectionist... in some areas more than others and I like to make it look like I'm not, but I am. I want to be right and I want to do it the best. Hence mistakes are not usually part of the deal. I'm still not good at making mistakes, but I'm trying to accept I'm going to make them.

Where do we go from here? Hopefully these lessons will translate into a healthy 2012!

laugh of the week...

Flash mobs are definitely "in" these days and I'm a complete sucker for them. I really wanted to be in Kelly Clarkson's new video where she invited fans to record themselves for a flash mob video, but I'm still learning the moves!

My new favorite flash mob...



And Kelly Clarkson's finished product...

merry Christmas...

And here it is... Christmas has arrived. Sometimes it's hard to get in the "Christmas spirit." Work, stress, shopping, travel... it can take away from why we celebrate Christmas, but I hope we can pause at some point over the next few days and breathe.

At our Christmas Eve service tonight we had a chance to see a short clip on Christmas in 50 Words... It sums it up better than I ever could!



Some other Christmas videos to warm your heart :)

Deep Thoughts...
Christmas on Social Media
A Christmas Carol...
Michael Buble Duets commercial

mic'd up like tebow...

Tim Tebow has been garnering a ton of attention lately... and not just on ESPN. The American public seems captivated by his ability to win (until Sunday) and be so forthcoming about his faith. I had a hard time jumping on the Tim Tebow bandwagon. First of all, he's a Gator... an obvious point of dissension for a Tennessee grad. Secondly... I hate bandwagons. I have this thing about being first... or not at all. I can't like bands everyone else likes or celebrities everyone else is clamoring over now.

Nevertheless, Tim Tebow has people talking and they're talking about faith. The Broncos staged another fourth quarter comeback against the Bears and kicker Matt Prater tied the game and won in overtime with two huge field goals. It was the perfect prequel to the battle against Tom Brady and the New England Patriots. During the week a youtube video was passed around letting fans hear Tebow mic'd up against the Bears.



Fans are divided. Some people hate the "religious talk." Others cling to it. I love his perspective. He's a little pitchy as Randy Jackson might say, but he's singing classic worship songs in the middle of a tight professional football game. My favorite part... "Lord, win or lose, help me to honor you." That's the key to me. As funny as the SNL skit was (or at least I thought it was), it's funny because it exaggerates. Tebow's not creepy obsessed with God, he's not claiming God is on his side, helping the Broncos win. Win or lose, Tim is honoring God (or at least from a fan's perspective not having ever met him or know anything about how he acts away from the cameras).

All of that to say, I wonder what would have happened had someone mic'd me up during a soccer game. Stressful situations are not usually our finest moments and many would probably rather see Tebow mic'd up during the Patriots' loss, but it's not so much about Tebow as much as it is about ourselves. Where is my heart?

Lord, win or lose, help me to honor you.

laugh of the week...

Old video, but highlighted in a list of top viral videos of 2011 and I had to laugh again...

change (again)...

Lately I've noticed my writing has been inspired by others... and I'm not so sure that's a bad thing. When I first started blogging on the ever popular myspace, I wasn't really sure what blogging was other than a place for me to vent. There was this crazy adrenaline rush to post something and not know who might read it while I tried not to care. Now I've found dive this other world of blogs where I can blog-hop from one to another inspired by family, friends and complete strangers' writing. 

Tonight I checked in on Lindsey Nobles. I've been following her blog for awhile and this year she has chronicled her journey quitting her job in Nashville and moving across the country for a new adventure in California. She recently posted a blog about reflecting on the last year and it made me think... 

I want to take a look and figure out, am I really living life or am I letting life happen? Am I taking control of my life or am I living vicariously through other lives I read about and watch on tv? I want to make sure I'm staying in my current job and city because this is where God wants me and not out of fear of change. At the same time, just because I have the same job in the same city doesn't mean I have to be stagnant. 

There are moments when I feel useful here... like I'm making a difference. And then there are moments when I want nothing more than to pick up and take a risk on a dream. Sometimes I think the dreaming is more glamorized in Hollywood than it is real life. I just wrote the other day about balancing tradition and change, surprisingly enough I'm still seeking that balance and not just in Christmas traditions. As much as I love tradition and security, I don't want my life to be out of tradition. 

Just another rambling moment of 2011...

song of the week...

I've really never blogged a song of the week, but I wanted an excuse to copy JillandKate and blog this one. I haven't seen Country Strong since it was in the theater, but this song reminded me I want to see it again!

laugh of the week...

Sometimes I wonder why I share laughs at the expense of myself, but then I'm reminded we have to laugh at ourselves! I'm okay with laughing at myself... especially my 10-year-old self. I stumbled across these last week and had to share.

tradition...

I'm a big fan of tradition, but lately I've been asking myself, am I protecting tradition or am I afraid of change?

My family has a number of traditions especially around the holidays... Some of my favorites are Christmas shopping with my mom and sister on Thanksgiving Eve, wrapping presents with my dad and sister on Christmas Eve and our whole family donning matching pj's Christmas Eve. I remember the first time my sister spent Thanksgiving with her now husband and missed our shopping trip. I wasn't thrilled and I make sure to remind her of the two trips she missed.

A couple of my single friends and I have created a tradition of going to the beach for New Year's. It's been a huge relief to know we have single company on probably the No. 2 couple's holiday (second to Valentine's Day in my unofficial ranking). I would think we all secretly hope that someday we won't need a single's beach trip once we have boyfriends and/or husbands... (or do we drag them along with potential extra wheel scenarios) but who is the first to "break the tradition." Or is it breaking tradition?

I think I'm realizing I work best with tradition because I don't work well with change. When it comes to my faith, I'm usually arguing against traditions and rituals and yet when it comes to my family and friends or my daily routine I'm holding on to tradition for dear life. I want to work on it. I think I'll always need some structure in my life, but I don't want to resist change for the sake of tradition.

laugh of the week...

Stumbled across comedian Brian Regan and wanted to share! Be sure to check out some of his other videos...

longing...

One of my favorite authors is Karen Kingsbury. I first read One Tuesday Morning in 2003 and have been captivated by Kingsbury's books ever since. I suppose they could be considered predictable... but I'm grateful for books that share a positive message through some not so positive circumstances all the time. I suppose they could be considered unrealistic or too fairy tale... but I'm grateful for books that give me hope for my own fairy tale.

Kingsbury has written more than 60 books, but my favorite series is actually an ongoing storyline throughout a number of her four or five-book series that first started around the Baxter family in the Redemption Series. Four series later, Kingsbury started the Bailey Flanagan series and recently released "Longing."

Without giving away the entire series, midway through the book, the main character goes to church Christmas Eve with friends and hears a message on longing. Kingsbury writes...

"'This time of year people are longing... We long for love and relationship and healing and hope... But this Christmas God wants us to long for so much more.' He spoke then about longing for holiness, for a closer walk with Jesus, for God's truth to speak louder than the noise of the world. 'When we long for the right things, we find a different sort of love. The kind of love that will never let go of us, never let us down. Never walk away or disown us. A love that knows us and our flaws but stays anyway.' He paused. 'For us... to long for God is to long for a perfect love.'"

The circumstances around the message make for a moving story, but even apart from Bailey Flanagan's story, the pastor's message is poignant. So many people are hurting... searching... longing for a perfect love. We want to be wanted... to be accepted... to be listened to... and God's love gives us all of that.

I am grateful for Karen Kingsbury's stories... but ultimately I'm grateful for God's love, sacrifice and acceptance to fulfill my own longing.

Official book trailer...