farewell 2011...

Some call me a thinker... sometimes I call myself an over thinker. Either way, it's not often I let an occasion pass without some reflection.

I've liked 2011. It hasn't been too momentous with any particular event, but neither has it been devastating. Well... don't get me wrong there have been people lost and people hurt, but I've also seen lessons learned and people healed.

What I've learned...

1. life is fragile... I hope I knew this before 2011, but this year has been a reminder. I went to two funerals and that was two too many. Death is never easy and no words ever seem enough. I want to pause and remember the lives lost this year and pray they won't be forgotten.

2. people are struggling... I was/am a pro at masking my emotional and mental battles... or at least I thought so... primarily because I didn't want the stigma that came with it. I'm not supposed to struggle... especially as a Christian. I've felt extreme pressure to "cast my cares on Him" and "do not be anxious about anything" in a way that makes it difficult to share when I am struggling. As much as I don't like to see others struggling, there is some comfort in knowing I'm not alone and praying my struggles might help someone else going through the same thing.

3. mistakes are inevitable... Every time I think I have it together, I'm reminded I have no idea what I'm doing. I date a guy and think I've learned a lesson until I'm trying to talk myself into the same lousy characteristics of a different guy six months later. As strong and independent I try to be, relationships have a way of knocking me sideways, backwards and upside down. I would like to say I learned a lesson from the failed dates of 2011, but I think I'm resolving to know I'll keep making mistakes and keep learning lessons even after I get married.

4. it's ok to make mistakes... I am a perfectionist... in some areas more than others and I like to make it look like I'm not, but I am. I want to be right and I want to do it the best. Hence mistakes are not usually part of the deal. I'm still not good at making mistakes, but I'm trying to accept I'm going to make them.

Where do we go from here? Hopefully these lessons will translate into a healthy 2012!