I've grown up in a family where compliments aren't exactly forthcoming... My dad is the talker just not sentimental while my mom is sentimental but rarely shares her feelings. I grew up desperately seeking their approval and always wondering whether I would ever measure up.
If there's a theory out there that too much encouragement or too many compliments would make a kid soft, my dad probably bought stock in it. While my classmates were paid for getting A's on their report cards, mine were just expected. My grandfather used to pay me for scoring goals until he passed away when I was 10, but that was probably the extent of rewarded behavior as a child.
I could go on for days on the effects of becoming a people pleaser, but instead I'm here to share my own "living vicariously through tv shows" moment compliments of "Friday Night Lights." I've read the book, watched the movie and hung onto the tv show despite the attempts to bury it.
I was catching up on the dvr the other day and watched the most recent episode "Right Hand of the Father." Vince, the high school quarterback, was reunited with his dad who had spent the last five years in jail and he wasn't too thrilled about it. He didn't trust his dad and told him not to even come to his game... but of course his dad showed up. When Vince got home his dad had packed up and confessed he went and watched him play... “Tonight for the first time in my life I knew what pride felt like. I’m proud of you Vincent.”
Anyone who knows me knows I was a weepy mess at this point. I love the honesty and I especially love when a grown man can share his feelings... no matter how sentimental. I'm not sure what it is about those words... of knowing someone is proud of you... but it makes everything worthwhile. I'm praying I'll be able to tell my kids I'm proud of them (just enough to make them feel loved but not soft :) and I'm praying I'll find a man who can do the same.
If there's a theory out there that too much encouragement or too many compliments would make a kid soft, my dad probably bought stock in it. While my classmates were paid for getting A's on their report cards, mine were just expected. My grandfather used to pay me for scoring goals until he passed away when I was 10, but that was probably the extent of rewarded behavior as a child.
I could go on for days on the effects of becoming a people pleaser, but instead I'm here to share my own "living vicariously through tv shows" moment compliments of "Friday Night Lights." I've read the book, watched the movie and hung onto the tv show despite the attempts to bury it.
I was catching up on the dvr the other day and watched the most recent episode "Right Hand of the Father." Vince, the high school quarterback, was reunited with his dad who had spent the last five years in jail and he wasn't too thrilled about it. He didn't trust his dad and told him not to even come to his game... but of course his dad showed up. When Vince got home his dad had packed up and confessed he went and watched him play... “Tonight for the first time in my life I knew what pride felt like. I’m proud of you Vincent.”
Anyone who knows me knows I was a weepy mess at this point. I love the honesty and I especially love when a grown man can share his feelings... no matter how sentimental. I'm not sure what it is about those words... of knowing someone is proud of you... but it makes everything worthwhile. I'm praying I'll be able to tell my kids I'm proud of them (just enough to make them feel loved but not soft :) and I'm praying I'll find a man who can do the same.
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