At 7:30 this morning I found out my dad is giving his testimony at church tonight as part of re-acceptance to serve as a deacon. I have never heard my dad give his testimony. I have no idea how he came to know Christ and that hurts a little. My faith is such a big part of my life and to not really know that part of my dad or my mom's life seems like something's missing.
I have always fought the pull to let my Christianity become a habit. I grew up going to church because it was Sunday and my parents said so. I didn't drink or have sex because I was afraid of getting caught. Over the last 15 years I have consistently tried to find my own faith. I didn't want to do something just because my parents did it. I can't change the past, but it makes me think a lot about how I want to raise my own children. I want my children to know my faith. I want them to know not just what I believe, but why I believe it. I want them to love Jesus more than they love church. I want worship and prayer to be an integral part of our lives. I want them to trust me to love them unconditionally. I can't wait to share my faith and I hope someday I will have the opportunity to lead them to Christ.
Some things I like this week...
1. the Locator... I blogged a couple of weeks ago about how I cry often... I think it's impossible for me to watch this show without crying... There are people looking for their mothers, fathers, children... and Troy Dunn helps them reunite. I think the coolest part is that he doesn't just throw them in a room without spending time working through some of the hurt and anger that might have built up over so many years of separation.
2. Rachel Saburro White's singing... Ever since I started going to Snyder Memorial Baptist Church a few years ago, I found comfort in Rachel's singing. A member of the New Way worship choir, I even got her to come and sing the national anthem at school without having really met her before. Today she sang a new song she wrote that I loved... "I'm waiting and watching for my turn to come around... I've been on the sidelines for too long. My time is now... I'm gonna sing now... I'm gonna live now... I'm gonna speak now... I'm gonna love now... I'm gonna live now... for You.
3. Moving on... Over and over again I have documented my ability to hold grudges. I don't have a ton of patience for mess ups despite my own ability to mess up repeatedly. I've been trying to sort through balancing forgiveness with not being run over. I've found it's even more difficult to forgive someone that doesn't know you're mad at them. I'm grateful for God's providence placing conversations in my life that help me take another step forward towards moving on... moving past it. I was supposed to be helping you but you have no idea how much you helped me.
I have always fought the pull to let my Christianity become a habit. I grew up going to church because it was Sunday and my parents said so. I didn't drink or have sex because I was afraid of getting caught. Over the last 15 years I have consistently tried to find my own faith. I didn't want to do something just because my parents did it. I can't change the past, but it makes me think a lot about how I want to raise my own children. I want my children to know my faith. I want them to know not just what I believe, but why I believe it. I want them to love Jesus more than they love church. I want worship and prayer to be an integral part of our lives. I want them to trust me to love them unconditionally. I can't wait to share my faith and I hope someday I will have the opportunity to lead them to Christ.
Some things I like this week...
1. the Locator... I blogged a couple of weeks ago about how I cry often... I think it's impossible for me to watch this show without crying... There are people looking for their mothers, fathers, children... and Troy Dunn helps them reunite. I think the coolest part is that he doesn't just throw them in a room without spending time working through some of the hurt and anger that might have built up over so many years of separation.
2. Rachel Saburro White's singing... Ever since I started going to Snyder Memorial Baptist Church a few years ago, I found comfort in Rachel's singing. A member of the New Way worship choir, I even got her to come and sing the national anthem at school without having really met her before. Today she sang a new song she wrote that I loved... "I'm waiting and watching for my turn to come around... I've been on the sidelines for too long. My time is now... I'm gonna sing now... I'm gonna live now... I'm gonna speak now... I'm gonna love now... I'm gonna live now... for You.
3. Moving on... Over and over again I have documented my ability to hold grudges. I don't have a ton of patience for mess ups despite my own ability to mess up repeatedly. I've been trying to sort through balancing forgiveness with not being run over. I've found it's even more difficult to forgive someone that doesn't know you're mad at them. I'm grateful for God's providence placing conversations in my life that help me take another step forward towards moving on... moving past it. I was supposed to be helping you but you have no idea how much you helped me.
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