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Sunday, May 2, 2010

may...

Wow... it's May! Sometimes it feels like just yesterday my little sister was getting married and here we are almost a year later. I think back to last year and can't get over how much has changed. It's crazy to think about when you have people you talked to every day and now don't communicate with at all. I would like to think I've continued to grow and become a better person but I suppose everyone has a right to their own opinion. :)

I have a little more than three weeks left of my school year. I've wrapped up our regular season home events after six baseball games this weekend and now have a couple of weeks to get ready for the NCAA regional baseball tournament May 20-24. In the meantime I have plenty to keep me busy but I have every intention of getting to the beach in the very near future. During my first three years back in NC I went to the beach during the last Saturday of April to give myself a day away. Unfortunately this year a baseball three-game series was moved back to Fayetteville leaving me here too. I am determined to get there eventually with or without company!

Earlier this week, Jennie Finch retweeted "If you want to be stand out, don't be an imitator. Be outstanding!" from Bianca Juarez. I didn't know who Bianca was, but it sparked my curiosity. It turns out she is a speaker, teacher and writer that I thoroughly enjoy reading. She has a blog and some videos that just really make me think. I think some of us get caught up churning out stuff we already know... what we've heard over and over again. On the other hand, Bianca is talking about the controversial issues giving me a different perspective.

I'm in a bit of a period of unknown. I've tried to give myself options, but I also prayed that God would eliminate the options I shouldn't take so it would be clear I would know what to do. I want to balance sticking with status quo because it's comfortable and staying with status quo because it's where I need to be. I found out I have one less option today. I have mixed emotions about it, but I'm really trying to trust God's plan for my life. A lot of Christians quote Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." But lately I've really been banking on verse 13 just a little later... "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." I'm holding onto it and moving forward...

By the way... this morning at church a little girl in front of me kept getting scolded by her mom for fidgeting too much during the worship. Eventually the pastor asked everyone to stand for the reading of the scripture and the girl checked the table of contents of her bible to find the page number for the book of Acts. She was trying to find the scripture herself when her mom closed the bible and snatched her up out of her seat to stand with everyone else. I don't have kids and definitely not a parenting expert but my heart broke for the girl. I think standing with everyone is so trivial compared to a child wanting to find scripture on her own. I was the kid being forced to memorize scripture and find bible verses. I started to resent it and yet here was a girl with the desire to do it on her own. I am so grateful now for all of my bible drilling mayhem but at the time I didn't have the same desire she had. I wanted nothing more than to give the bible back and let the girl find the scripture.

Remembering ovarian cancer awareness today... a ton of my family members walked in an ovarian cancer walk for the cause and I really wanted to be there. I'm remembering Aunt Donna and honoring Aunt Sharon from afar today!

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