caring...

I have a crazy habit of over thinking things. I want everything to be good or go well or make everyone happy that I tend to second guess or triple guess decisions, things I say and things I do. I have this huge desire to live my life trying to glorify God but sometimes these other things get in the way.

Pastor Cook told a story last week I had heard him tell before but still meaningful... I'll attempt to paraphrase. He had just become pastor at a small church where a guy really wanted him to talk to his daughter. Many members of the church expressed concern for her so he went to her house and she invited him in and he eventually shared with her the "gospel" or story about why we need God. He asked her if she wanted to receive Him as her savior and she declined so he just asked if he could pray for her and she said yes. He figured he would pray and be on his way but when he finished he noticed she was crying. When he asked what was wrong, she said he was the only one who had cared enough to come.

Simple enough... I think the first time I heard it I said "yeah, I know, tell people about Jesus." The second time I wondered who in my life I've just been sending others to reach them while they think I just don't care enough to do it myself. I'm a big fan of living my life as an example of who God is and what He has done for me... I'm always afraid of getting accused of shoving it down someone's throat... but I never want someone to think I didn't care enough. I care.

I spent the weekend in Burlington working my fourth USA South Tournament. I have one of the lighter loads in terms of responsibilities but always feel exhausted after I get back. It's a great opportunity to spend some time with the other men and women in my business and exchange some ideas but mostly laughs. Even better this year I spent some time with one of my friends from college when she wasn't coaching. Recently named the lacrosse Coach of the Year in our conference, I am so proud of her. She doesn't believe she deserves it, but I know how hard she's worked, I've heard the passion in her voice, I've seen her team try to soak in everything she teaches, I've watched her team succeed... she definitely deserves it. Is this the end all, be all? Absolutely not, it's only her second year as a head coach, but I hope it serves as encouragement to keep her battling on the recruiting trail before she eventually wins the conference championship!

Today I heard Tenth Avenue North's new song "Healing Begins." So good... even better after I watched the video journal explaining the message behind the song. So many of us try to be our own savior... I know I'm guilty of it... there's healing in confession.

All of this rambling mess to say... "Father, let my heart be after you..."