I am coming out of a long period in which work has taken over my life. February always gets sketchy with springs sports beginning before winter sports really end, but it seems like I had even more on my plate this year. We hosted our third annual "Pink Zone" game on Saturday, Feb. 13 to raise money for breast cancer awareness and I can't even begin to count the number of hours of preparation that went into the event. After meeting since October, we really started to cram the Thursday before the game. Once I survived Pink Zone, I started to dread the following weekend when I had 10 baseball games and four basketball games at home not to mention all of the games on the road I was fortunate enough to write about! From that Thursday, Feb. 11 before Pink Zone to Sunday, Feb. 21, I worked approximately 153 hours... averaging nearly 14 hours a day. My shortest day was 9.5 hours and my longest was 18.25 hours. Let's just say by the time I crashed Sunday night I was physically, emotionally and mentally drained. I've always been pretty engrossed in my job but this short 11-day season kicked my butt. I tried to balance the chaos with a couple of hours with the girls on the 13th and lazy lunches with my Tuesday/Thursday crew... but I'm still seeking an even better balance.
On top of a demanding work schedule, I am trying to balance friendships in my life. Outside of my relationship with God, my family and friends are the most important things to me and I don't want them to be completely neglected because of my job. Over the last couple of weeks I have reconnected with some friends and struggled to bridge the disconnect with others. I am so grateful for the friends I have made here in Fayetteville. It is such a relief to have someone that knows you and understands you nearby when your world starts to crash. I am also so grateful for the friends I have all over the country that can pick up the phone and the sound of their voice brings peace to my heart. I am also in prayer daily for the friends I'm disconnected from... praying we can start fresh with a peace about the past. I refuse to quit.
As always, I'm following "One Tree Hill" closely. Recently, Haley's mom came back to share with her daughters (Haley, Quinn and Taylor) that she has terminal pancreatic cancer. I think I've cried every episode since the announcement as I watched Lydia (mom) and her daughters try to accept the diagnosis and say goodbye. I tried to imagine how I would respond if I were in their shoes. Cancer is prevalent in my family... Both of my mom's sisters have had ovarian cancer and my mom's mom had leukemia. My Aunt Donna died in 1991 from ovarian cancer. My Aunt Sharon had ovarian cancer and went through treatment in 2002. My cousin has recently gone through genetic testing that confirmed what seemed almost inevitable but she has the gene that has shown increased risk for ovarian and breast cancer. I've been reading about the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes and it can be a bit overwhelming. One source says, "In other words, a woman who has inherited a harmful mutation in BRCA1 or BRCA2 is about five times more likely to develop breast cancer than a woman who does not have such a mutation." Also, "Lifetime risk estimates for ovarian cancer among women in the general population indicate that 1.4 percent (14 out of 1,000) will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer compared with 15 to 40 percent of women (150–400 out of 1,000) who have a harmful BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation." Too many numbers that could cripple a person... I have a feeling if I'm going to get breast cancer or ovarian cancer, I can't stop it. I'm aware of my family history... I'm aware of my genes... but I refuse to run and hide out of fear. If anything I'm more fearful for the other women in my family. I am determined to tackle the fear with a concerted effort to appreciate every moment I have with every person in my life.
During One Tree Hill's episode Feb. 15, they played Gemma Hayes' song "November." Of course they played it during an emotional scene with Haley's mother Lydia... but even without the scene, the words left an impact on me... we will find a way.
November by Gemma Hayes
November
Has taken its toll
And if I know better
There's more to come
And the ocean is waitin' at our backdoor
You know we could leave
But we know in our hearts
There's so much more
We will find a way
To make it through these days
And we will find a way
To make it through these days
And I've fallen face down in the sun
Yeah, I take my chance playin'
Life's little dance and I still don't understand
And people are talkin' at me
Yeah, they make no sense
Wish I could pay my expenses
And get on the next train outta here
We will find a way
To make it through these days
We will find a way
To make it through
With sweet love and prayer
And who's the fairest of us all
And who will fight for you and I
Who's the bravest of us all
And who will hold us when we cry
When we cry
And we will find a way
To make it through these days
We will find a way
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
On top of a demanding work schedule, I am trying to balance friendships in my life. Outside of my relationship with God, my family and friends are the most important things to me and I don't want them to be completely neglected because of my job. Over the last couple of weeks I have reconnected with some friends and struggled to bridge the disconnect with others. I am so grateful for the friends I have made here in Fayetteville. It is such a relief to have someone that knows you and understands you nearby when your world starts to crash. I am also so grateful for the friends I have all over the country that can pick up the phone and the sound of their voice brings peace to my heart. I am also in prayer daily for the friends I'm disconnected from... praying we can start fresh with a peace about the past. I refuse to quit.
As always, I'm following "One Tree Hill" closely. Recently, Haley's mom came back to share with her daughters (Haley, Quinn and Taylor) that she has terminal pancreatic cancer. I think I've cried every episode since the announcement as I watched Lydia (mom) and her daughters try to accept the diagnosis and say goodbye. I tried to imagine how I would respond if I were in their shoes. Cancer is prevalent in my family... Both of my mom's sisters have had ovarian cancer and my mom's mom had leukemia. My Aunt Donna died in 1991 from ovarian cancer. My Aunt Sharon had ovarian cancer and went through treatment in 2002. My cousin has recently gone through genetic testing that confirmed what seemed almost inevitable but she has the gene that has shown increased risk for ovarian and breast cancer. I've been reading about the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes and it can be a bit overwhelming. One source says, "In other words, a woman who has inherited a harmful mutation in BRCA1 or BRCA2 is about five times more likely to develop breast cancer than a woman who does not have such a mutation." Also, "Lifetime risk estimates for ovarian cancer among women in the general population indicate that 1.4 percent (14 out of 1,000) will be diagnosed with ovarian cancer compared with 15 to 40 percent of women (150–400 out of 1,000) who have a harmful BRCA1 or BRCA2 mutation." Too many numbers that could cripple a person... I have a feeling if I'm going to get breast cancer or ovarian cancer, I can't stop it. I'm aware of my family history... I'm aware of my genes... but I refuse to run and hide out of fear. If anything I'm more fearful for the other women in my family. I am determined to tackle the fear with a concerted effort to appreciate every moment I have with every person in my life.
During One Tree Hill's episode Feb. 15, they played Gemma Hayes' song "November." Of course they played it during an emotional scene with Haley's mother Lydia... but even without the scene, the words left an impact on me... we will find a way.
November by Gemma Hayes
November
Has taken its toll
And if I know better
There's more to come
And the ocean is waitin' at our backdoor
You know we could leave
But we know in our hearts
There's so much more
We will find a way
To make it through these days
And we will find a way
To make it through these days
And I've fallen face down in the sun
Yeah, I take my chance playin'
Life's little dance and I still don't understand
And people are talkin' at me
Yeah, they make no sense
Wish I could pay my expenses
And get on the next train outta here
We will find a way
To make it through these days
We will find a way
To make it through
With sweet love and prayer
And who's the fairest of us all
And who will fight for you and I
Who's the bravest of us all
And who will hold us when we cry
When we cry
And we will find a way
To make it through these days
We will find a way
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
To make it through
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