I had a feeling there wasn't room in my life for both of you, but I don't think I could have ever been prepared to lose both of you. And by "lose" I don't mean through death. I don't want to take anything away from losing someone through death... I've gone through enough of that to know it's absolutely devastating... Aunt Donna, Mommom Wolf, Poppop Wolf, Uncle Rodney, Mrs. Diane, Mommom Britt, Uncle Buck, Dr. J., Aunt Elsie, Mrs. Quimby, Darlene and so many more... never forgotten. Sometimes it can feel just as difficult to lose someone when they're still alive because they're still here... you can see them or hear them but just can't reach them.
Things have changed so quickly and I'm not sure how much control I have over them. I was determined to not give up but I also don't want to be taken advantage of through my patience. Regardless, I would do anything to rewind to when you confided in me... when you laughed with me... when you hung out with me... when you cared about me. It looks selfish when I type it... so much "me." I don't want it to be all about me but I miss you.
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