so over thanksgiving I tried to be personal and leave as many "friends" comments as I could... but it proved to be fairly time consuming with more than 200 "friends" now and so I resort to a blog this Christmas.
It's hard to believe it will officially be Christmas in 10 minutes... I feel like there's all of this anticipation leading up to the holiday with the shopping and the decorating... and then it arrives with little fanfare... or at least the fanfare decreases as you get older.
I only have a few more days left in Maryland before I have to head back to work in North Carolina. I just want to wish everyone a merry Christmas! I hope you're with some people you love and appreciative the things you give and receive. I hope you find the joy in the holiday beyond the stress of shopping and the pressures of patience-testing family and friends! :)
Merry Christmas!
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Thursday, December 7, 2006
poop
I think things come in phases... and of course people sometimes come in phases too.
There are days when good things are happening and I tend to coast along... before I hit a series of wake up calls that perhaps aren't so good. I think they end up being good most of the time because I don't want to coast through life or get too comfortable or put my head down and sleep through what's going on around me... but during the not so good stuff or what I might like to refer to as "poop" it's hard to remember how last year or last month's poop all worked out just like the current poop will work out.
I'm still reading streams in the desert and I think it's a good thing because some of the lessons are the same but it seems like every night I need a reminder. Some things I learn more quickly than others... or maybe some things I just believe while for others it takes a few more reps before I buy into the system.
I have this thing where I think I expect too much from people... or maybe place too much value on people... when in reality people always let you down... we're human therefore not perfect... whether it's intentional or not, by creating relationships with people we're basically signing a waiver to accept disappointment, hurt and poop along with all of the positives that we see and/or feel at first glance.
So here's to the poop... may we embrace it and find the good in it even if we feel like we're sinking in it at the moment.
There are days when good things are happening and I tend to coast along... before I hit a series of wake up calls that perhaps aren't so good. I think they end up being good most of the time because I don't want to coast through life or get too comfortable or put my head down and sleep through what's going on around me... but during the not so good stuff or what I might like to refer to as "poop" it's hard to remember how last year or last month's poop all worked out just like the current poop will work out.
I'm still reading streams in the desert and I think it's a good thing because some of the lessons are the same but it seems like every night I need a reminder. Some things I learn more quickly than others... or maybe some things I just believe while for others it takes a few more reps before I buy into the system.
I have this thing where I think I expect too much from people... or maybe place too much value on people... when in reality people always let you down... we're human therefore not perfect... whether it's intentional or not, by creating relationships with people we're basically signing a waiver to accept disappointment, hurt and poop along with all of the positives that we see and/or feel at first glance.
So here's to the poop... may we embrace it and find the good in it even if we feel like we're sinking in it at the moment.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
another cheeseball moment...
If someone created an award for the most frequent cheesy blogs, then I think I could win it... but I'm able to accept my cheesiness and embrace it for all it's worth.
On that note... we just celebrated thanksgiving... or at least I did... so I thought I should be thankful. I didn't think I would get to go home because I had to work the weekend, but I drove home early wednesday morning to surprise my parents (it was so worth it when my mom cried!) and drove back early friday morning.... so if nothing else I'm thankful I had safe travel and I got to see my family...
I heard on an oprah at some point that she keeps a gratitude journal or something and she tries to write down five things that she's thankful for... specific to that day. Like of course you're thankful for your health or your family or your friends... but it has to be something specific that happened that day. So... since january 1st, for the last 329 days (I haven't written today's yet) I have been listing five things I'm thankful for each day. Some days are definitely easier than others and there are some days when I'd like to add a list of five things I want to complain about... but listing five things has helped me maintain perspective. Even when the things right in front of your face might appear dismal, when you stop and look at the bigger picture and seek out the good stuff... it's a lot easier to face the tough stuff.
Regardless.. a summary of some of the things I'm thankful for this thanksgiving season... I'm thankful for...
... a job that allows me to support myself
... a better relationship with my parents since I survived living at home
... the rileys are getting better at keeping in touch :)
... my sister let me work at her school
... reclaiming a peace about who I am and finding my purpose
... meeting new people that have been a positive addition to my life and cutting out the negative baggage
... learning not to hold a grudge
... Tennessee women's basketball is still undefeated :)
... the friends who I thought wouldn't stick around, but have
... every single "zone"r I met this summer
... the million dollars I won on reality tv... oh wait that one hasn't happened yet :)
On that note... we just celebrated thanksgiving... or at least I did... so I thought I should be thankful. I didn't think I would get to go home because I had to work the weekend, but I drove home early wednesday morning to surprise my parents (it was so worth it when my mom cried!) and drove back early friday morning.... so if nothing else I'm thankful I had safe travel and I got to see my family...
I heard on an oprah at some point that she keeps a gratitude journal or something and she tries to write down five things that she's thankful for... specific to that day. Like of course you're thankful for your health or your family or your friends... but it has to be something specific that happened that day. So... since january 1st, for the last 329 days (I haven't written today's yet) I have been listing five things I'm thankful for each day. Some days are definitely easier than others and there are some days when I'd like to add a list of five things I want to complain about... but listing five things has helped me maintain perspective. Even when the things right in front of your face might appear dismal, when you stop and look at the bigger picture and seek out the good stuff... it's a lot easier to face the tough stuff.
Regardless.. a summary of some of the things I'm thankful for this thanksgiving season... I'm thankful for...
... a job that allows me to support myself
... a better relationship with my parents since I survived living at home
... the rileys are getting better at keeping in touch :)
... my sister let me work at her school
... reclaiming a peace about who I am and finding my purpose
... meeting new people that have been a positive addition to my life and cutting out the negative baggage
... learning not to hold a grudge
... Tennessee women's basketball is still undefeated :)
... the friends who I thought wouldn't stick around, but have
... every single "zone"r I met this summer
... the million dollars I won on reality tv... oh wait that one hasn't happened yet :)
Monday, November 6, 2006
methco soccer
Seven years ago I met Bobby Graham. We had talked on the phone for a couple of months and then he saw me play in my last high school soccer game at a senior all-star game in the "fog bowl." He claimed I could play soccer at Methodist College and help his 5-13 team. He explained that his mentor Joe Pereira was the first methco coach and the team had been a division III powerhouse back in the day... as recently as 1995 going to the national championship (at the time 1995 was only four years prior so it sounded recent). Bobby told me he wanted to get us back to the NCAA tournament by my senior year.
A few months later I would decide to go to Gardner-Webb University... paid my deposit and started planning the next four years. Bobby didn't give up and a couple of months later I broke the news to my parents I wanted to play soccer at methco instead. I spent three years in fayettenam attempting to play soccer with a ton of great people and doing everything I thought I could to get methodist soccer back to the NCAA tournament. My freshman year we lost in PKs to CNU in the conference semifinal... sophomore year we lost to Greensboro 1-0 in the conference semifinal... my jr/sr year we lost to Greensboro 3-0 in the conference semifinal... so much for the NCAA tournament.
I struggled giving up soccer when I decided to graduate in the spring of '03. I was never the star athlete, but I had a ton of fun and I love the sport. Sometimes it was easier than others, but it never changed the way I felt about methodist soccer. There will always be a year of eligibility hanging over my head asking me "what if?" When I came back to methco in August I knew it would be different. I knew some of the team, but they probably wouldn't know me or could care less... there was a new coach... I was in a new job... no one knew what to expect out of the 2006 season.
Over the last three months I've been routing this team along with everything I know about being a "monarch" (or if you read my last blog... mr. monarch). When the team went undefeated in conference play and won the regular season championship, I was thrilled. When the team advanced to the tournament championship, I was filled with nervous excitement. When the team was down 2-0 at halftime, I was trying to stay optimistic. When I was counting down the final 10 seconds, and the team was still down 2-1 I was screaming in my head for Chrystal to take the free kick quickly. When the ball hit the back of the net and there was still a second left on the clock I quickly turned off the mic and jumped up and down like a former methco women's soccer player should. When overtime ended and the team prepared for a shootout, I tried to ignore the thoughts of my freshman year running through my mind. When I had to announce CNU as the tournament champions, I wanted to puke.
This morning I woke up and checked www.ncaasports.com to find out methco soccer had received an at-large bid to the NCAA tournament that women had been striving to get back to for the last eleven years. I did some more jumping up and down like a former methco women's soccer player should. There's history there... and even though I had absolutely nothing to do with this NCAA appearance, I'm proud to be a part of the process that filled the eleven year gap. The 2006 team is fulfilling a dream I dreamt seven years ago. I can't wait until Saturday night.
A few months later I would decide to go to Gardner-Webb University... paid my deposit and started planning the next four years. Bobby didn't give up and a couple of months later I broke the news to my parents I wanted to play soccer at methco instead. I spent three years in fayettenam attempting to play soccer with a ton of great people and doing everything I thought I could to get methodist soccer back to the NCAA tournament. My freshman year we lost in PKs to CNU in the conference semifinal... sophomore year we lost to Greensboro 1-0 in the conference semifinal... my jr/sr year we lost to Greensboro 3-0 in the conference semifinal... so much for the NCAA tournament.
I struggled giving up soccer when I decided to graduate in the spring of '03. I was never the star athlete, but I had a ton of fun and I love the sport. Sometimes it was easier than others, but it never changed the way I felt about methodist soccer. There will always be a year of eligibility hanging over my head asking me "what if?" When I came back to methco in August I knew it would be different. I knew some of the team, but they probably wouldn't know me or could care less... there was a new coach... I was in a new job... no one knew what to expect out of the 2006 season.
Over the last three months I've been routing this team along with everything I know about being a "monarch" (or if you read my last blog... mr. monarch). When the team went undefeated in conference play and won the regular season championship, I was thrilled. When the team advanced to the tournament championship, I was filled with nervous excitement. When the team was down 2-0 at halftime, I was trying to stay optimistic. When I was counting down the final 10 seconds, and the team was still down 2-1 I was screaming in my head for Chrystal to take the free kick quickly. When the ball hit the back of the net and there was still a second left on the clock I quickly turned off the mic and jumped up and down like a former methco women's soccer player should. When overtime ended and the team prepared for a shootout, I tried to ignore the thoughts of my freshman year running through my mind. When I had to announce CNU as the tournament champions, I wanted to puke.
This morning I woke up and checked www.ncaasports.com to find out methco soccer had received an at-large bid to the NCAA tournament that women had been striving to get back to for the last eleven years. I did some more jumping up and down like a former methco women's soccer player should. There's history there... and even though I had absolutely nothing to do with this NCAA appearance, I'm proud to be a part of the process that filled the eleven year gap. The 2006 team is fulfilling a dream I dreamt seven years ago. I can't wait until Saturday night.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Mr. Monarch
I just got an e-mail at work addressed to "Mr. Monarch." (For those of you who have not been fortunate enough to attend Methodist College... our mascot is a Monarch in the form of a lion referring to the "king of the jungle.") I've received at least 35 e-mails today but I have to admit that one is going to get me through the rest of my 15 hour day.
Sometimes I get e-mails from angry parents/athletes/coaches or grateful parents/athletes/coaches or maybe just perhaps parents/athletes/coaches who think my entire 24 hours in a day should be devoted to them.
Either way... I like the good stuff about the job... particularly days when I'm called a Mr... or even better... Mr. Monarch.
Sometimes I get e-mails from angry parents/athletes/coaches or grateful parents/athletes/coaches or maybe just perhaps parents/athletes/coaches who think my entire 24 hours in a day should be devoted to them.
Either way... I like the good stuff about the job... particularly days when I'm called a Mr... or even better... Mr. Monarch.
Saturday, October 7, 2006
desert streams
I should probably go to work but procrastinating is so much easier... getting pumped to work football in the rain takes time. This summer I met a high school student... who at first glance appears to have it all together. Her parents are Christians, she grew up in the church and has not denied her faith, but... we had some great conversations questioning is that enough? She isn't breaking any laws... isn't disrespecting her parents... isn't neglecting church... but she decided she wanted to go deeper. Our camp pastor that week suggested she get the devotional "streams in the desert." It was originally written by L.B. Cowman in 1925 and James Reimann has updated it. I bought the book hoping to encourage my new friend I'd read it with her. I'm not sure she ever bought it... but nevertheless I've benefitted from it.
There is obviously a reoccurring theme about dealing with the bad stuff... some of that why do bad things happen to good people... or how to move forward in your faith when things seem to be pulling you back. One analogy was a gardener that told the homeowner that if he was going to tend his grapes he had to prune them all back. For two years they didn't have any grapes but then the vines flourished. At first the gardener probably looked stupid... for two years... there was nothing, but then the fruit came back even stronger.
On September 30th, there's a story about a little plant in the forest whose growth was stunted because it was hidden in the shade of a giant oak tree, but the plant valued the shade and protection the tree provided... until a woodsman came in and chopped the oak down. The plant was upset he was left unprotected and scared he would be uprooted by the wind and storms. But in reality... the plant was exposed to the sunlight that would help the plant grow stronger and bloom flowers making it better than it ever could have been in the shade of the oak. There was a bigger blessing waiting for the plant that it couldn't see beyond the oak.
A quote from streams... "Dear believer, do you understand that God may take away your comforts and privileges in order to make you a stronger Christian? Do you see why the Lord always trains His soldiers not by allowing them to lie on beds of ease but by calling them to difficult marches and service? He makes them wade through streams, swim across rivers, climb steep mountains, and walk many long marches carrying heavy backpacks of sorrow. This is how He develops soldiers-- not by dressing them up in fine uniforms to strut at the gates of the barracks or to appear as handsome gentlemen to those who are strolling through the park. No, God knows the soldiers can only be made in battle and are not developed in times of peace. We may be able to grow the raw materials of which soldiers are made, but turning them into true warriors requires the education brought about by the smell of gunpowder and by fighting in the midst of flying bullets and exploding bombs, not by living through pleasant and peaceful times."
There is obviously a reoccurring theme about dealing with the bad stuff... some of that why do bad things happen to good people... or how to move forward in your faith when things seem to be pulling you back. One analogy was a gardener that told the homeowner that if he was going to tend his grapes he had to prune them all back. For two years they didn't have any grapes but then the vines flourished. At first the gardener probably looked stupid... for two years... there was nothing, but then the fruit came back even stronger.
On September 30th, there's a story about a little plant in the forest whose growth was stunted because it was hidden in the shade of a giant oak tree, but the plant valued the shade and protection the tree provided... until a woodsman came in and chopped the oak down. The plant was upset he was left unprotected and scared he would be uprooted by the wind and storms. But in reality... the plant was exposed to the sunlight that would help the plant grow stronger and bloom flowers making it better than it ever could have been in the shade of the oak. There was a bigger blessing waiting for the plant that it couldn't see beyond the oak.
A quote from streams... "Dear believer, do you understand that God may take away your comforts and privileges in order to make you a stronger Christian? Do you see why the Lord always trains His soldiers not by allowing them to lie on beds of ease but by calling them to difficult marches and service? He makes them wade through streams, swim across rivers, climb steep mountains, and walk many long marches carrying heavy backpacks of sorrow. This is how He develops soldiers-- not by dressing them up in fine uniforms to strut at the gates of the barracks or to appear as handsome gentlemen to those who are strolling through the park. No, God knows the soldiers can only be made in battle and are not developed in times of peace. We may be able to grow the raw materials of which soldiers are made, but turning them into true warriors requires the education brought about by the smell of gunpowder and by fighting in the midst of flying bullets and exploding bombs, not by living through pleasant and peaceful times."
Saturday, September 23, 2006
long time no talk...
Another month has passed and I thought I should probably catch up the stalker space faithful. This might be my first day off in a month. Once games started, I've been going non-stop. This weekend all of the teams are away so I'm just waiting for results to come in so I can update the website. I'm trying to make sure that I don't get caught up in going through the motions and forget to actually live in the moment, but the busy schedule is always threatening my good intentions.
The summer feels so long ago... (well it is fall now) and living and working in Maryland feels like another life entirely. I want to remember the lessons from past experiences, but still move forward with the new knowledge applied to today. MethCo is definitely a different animal when you're on the other side of things... especially after a spending a few years away. I miss some of the things and people from my time as a student... but some things will never change... My whole student experience seems so much more valuable and worthwhile now that I can look back on it with some perspective.
Some random musings from another ccm issue compliments of jars of clay...
"'In Africa,' explains Haseltine, reflecting on the band's visit to the continent, 'People embody their experiences, their emotions. When there's a funeral, there's wailing, and it isn't a bunch of people standing around trying to be strong for everybody else. When they're thankful or happy, they're not taking anything away from that experience because they're dancing or they're singing, and there's real joy. In America, there are structures in place that keep us from actually experiencing the fullness of those emotions in life. You find in Africa they don't have much of a suicide rate-- it's extremely low. Compare that to the U.S., where we have these structures in place to keep us at a certain level of emotional status. And what are we doing with our emotions? We're killing ourselves. It's stuff like that that's definitely informed this record [Good Monsters].'"
I was just talking to one of my good friends a few weeks ago about expressing emotion and he was saying he felt like as a man he had to be strong and will not show emotion in public... anymore. I am known for being everyone's local flood and was trying to justify the value of letting it all out. Expressing emotions... good and bad... can be a healthy alternative to pretending that everything's okay when it's not. Pretending isn't being strong. I need authentic for my own sanity and encouragement... maybe I should move to Africa.
The summer feels so long ago... (well it is fall now) and living and working in Maryland feels like another life entirely. I want to remember the lessons from past experiences, but still move forward with the new knowledge applied to today. MethCo is definitely a different animal when you're on the other side of things... especially after a spending a few years away. I miss some of the things and people from my time as a student... but some things will never change... My whole student experience seems so much more valuable and worthwhile now that I can look back on it with some perspective.
Some random musings from another ccm issue compliments of jars of clay...
"'In Africa,' explains Haseltine, reflecting on the band's visit to the continent, 'People embody their experiences, their emotions. When there's a funeral, there's wailing, and it isn't a bunch of people standing around trying to be strong for everybody else. When they're thankful or happy, they're not taking anything away from that experience because they're dancing or they're singing, and there's real joy. In America, there are structures in place that keep us from actually experiencing the fullness of those emotions in life. You find in Africa they don't have much of a suicide rate-- it's extremely low. Compare that to the U.S., where we have these structures in place to keep us at a certain level of emotional status. And what are we doing with our emotions? We're killing ourselves. It's stuff like that that's definitely informed this record [Good Monsters].'"
I was just talking to one of my good friends a few weeks ago about expressing emotion and he was saying he felt like as a man he had to be strong and will not show emotion in public... anymore. I am known for being everyone's local flood and was trying to justify the value of letting it all out. Expressing emotions... good and bad... can be a healthy alternative to pretending that everything's okay when it's not. Pretending isn't being strong. I need authentic for my own sanity and encouragement... maybe I should move to Africa.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)