a friend that sticks...

I like to think I can read people pretty well. As loud and talkative as I can be, I love to survey a room in silence. I want to know what makes you tick. I want to know why you do the things you do and who you're trying to impress. Usually it's because I'm selfish. I want to know if we could be friends or maybe even date. Sometimes I want to know if I can help you. 

When I worked at a college, every new group of students was a new group to get to know. I met so many people, and got to know some better than others. Sometimes I saw myself in the naive freshman or the kid who was surrounded by people, but looked lonely. Sometimes I saw a kid just looking for a friend or an answer or just someone to listen. Sometimes I saw someone hurting and I just wanted to take away the hurt. Sometimes I saw a student looking for answers and I just let them ask the questions. 

A few times I got hurt. Maybe I misread a person or misjudged their intentions. Maybe they changed or maybe I just messed up. I've learned it's risky to make friends with 18-22 year olds. There is so much growing up that happens then... especially when you're away from home and charged with figuring out who you are. It's not the same for everyone, but generally speaking... we change so much during college... hopefully for the better, but it's nearly inevitable. How do you move to a new place with new people and new experiences and not change? 

I wish I could draw a chart of college friendships. People show up and have limited standards for friendship at first... you just want someone to hang out with or eat lunch with so you don't look like a loner. If you're lucky... you and your roommate work out and tag team it. If you're not so lucky you hope the first person you risk friendship with isn't insane. I cringe when people proclaim new "best friends" every five minutes. There are of course exceptions to the rule. Sometimes the friendships last four years and more often than not even if you're  not "best friends" you're still friends or at least acquaintances. Occasionally you get to graduation and see your first friend walk across the stage and wonder what in the world you ever had in common with that stranger. 

My point? When you make a friend that sticks... be grateful. And when it doesn't stick, it's not always your fault. People change... and just like relationships, sometimes friendships end to make room for new ones.