strengthen my hands...

Recently... I've been struck by how empty or superficial faith can be. I'm a fighter. I'm a fixer. When something's broken I want to fix it. If my faith isn't "working" (in quotations to stress the irony of a faith "working" for me)... I want to fix it. Sometimes we're always looking to be fed, and we forget sometimes God has called us to feed. Don't get me wrong... I think we have to be fed to feed others, but it's not always about what we get... sometimes we're called to give.

Tonight our group watched the Shallow Small Group video. I had seen it before and I think it's ironically funny. And yet at some point tonight I became fearful the video was talking about us... and yet we didn't get a chance to dare I say "unpack" the video and be something deeper. I don't want my faith to be shallow or superficial and I don't want our ministry to either.

I keep asking myself what do you do if your faith is stagnant or superficial? What do you do if your church or your ministry is shallow or stuck? Do you quit? Do you find another faith or another church or another ministry? I can't quit. I believe I'm called to seek change before walking away. One of my favorite books is Nehemiah. He was leading the people to rebuild the wall and in chapter 4 they started to face opposition, but they prayed and Nehemiah said “Don’t be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes.” (Nehemiah 4:14). They faced more opposition in chapter 6 and Nehemiah said, "They were all trying to frighten us, thinking, 'Their hands will get too weak for the work, and it will not be completed.' But I prayed, 'Now strengthen my hands.'" (Nehemiah 6:9)

Don't get me wrong... there are some things that are not of God and we need to just flee (James 4:7)... to run away as fast as we can and drown ourselves in God.

Tonight I stumbled on a random message board where someone had posted this comment in response to the blog "15 Reasons I Left Church"... "I wonder how often #10 (I left the church because of my own selfishness and pride.) is the real reason people leave and the other fourteen are just ways to cover that up. I've seen it on message boards and thought it myself when my wife and I were looking for a new church when we moved. We have preferences as to types of music, preaching styles, standard attire, formality of the service, what kind of coffee they serve in the lobby, congregation size, appearance of the building, community prestige of the church, and all kinds of other stuff. I wonder how often our desire to be served and entertained are more of a determining factor than the willingness to serve others. That Bonhoeffer quote I mentioned in fragile's thread really hit me: 'The Church is only the Church when it exists for others.' Completely changed my attitude toward the church I am now attending. Instead of complaining about how I'm not getting anything out of it, I'm looking for ways to put my gifts and talents to use for the benefit of others."

This opens a whole new can of worms, but I had to read the blog. Most of the blogger's reasons I've heard before, but I think what really broke my heart were the 842 comments (in two weeks) people have left in response to the blog. People have bantered back and forth arguing for and against and essentially just beating each other up. Christians and non-Christians alike just showing hate... spewing words in cyberspace because it's safe to be unknown and rude. Is this what we have become? The comments themselves could probably be reason number 16.

All this babble to say... what is my response? Do I run? Do I stop reading blogs or going to church or serving in ministry? I can't. I just keep praying... Now strengthen my hands.