fear...

I've been thinking a lot about fear. I don't think I get scared very easily. I'm not scared of dying... I'm not scared of bugs... I'm not scared of heights or small spaces... However, a few nights ago I was in a situation when I was really scared. I tried to remember the last time before that when I was scared and couldn't... but those feelings of fear came right back like they had never left. I realized very quickly, I am most scared when the people around me that I love and care about are in danger.

During the situation I had way too much time to react. My first response was I can fix this... a friend is in trouble, I can fix it. My second response... was uh oh, this isn't working, I failed... I better pray. Third... my prayer isn't working, I'm starting to freak out... At some point, I reconnected my head and my heart and I just kept praying over and over and then started reading scripture. Something... anything to replace the fear in my brain. I felt this constant tug to just keep reading, keep praying... to not give up on Him. Finally... the storm started to pass and our crisis was appearing less threatening.

What do you do when you're scared? We talked after FCA tonight about getting out of our comfort zone. It reminded me of fear... most of us don't want to step outside of our comfort zone because we're afraid of what's out there. We see a snake, or a dark alley and we run the other direction. We're always taught to run away from trouble... yet we need to remember to run to Him. Keep praying... keep reading... even when it looks like it's not working... He's listening. One step at a time. 

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 18-19