It was a well-known fact when I was growing up I had no problem crying. The problem was more like I couldn't stop... or maybe I just couldn't control it. I always cried at the most inopportune times and places... in the most embarrassing situations. Movies, tv shows, books, real life... nothing was safe.
Years later I'd like to think I'm better but not sure I've really convinced myself. It's a little more acceptable for females to cry, but not sure about 28-year old females... especially 28-year old females in professional settings.
On Sunday I went to church and saw a woman crying while we sang "Your Grace is Enough." A woman in my row squeezed out to the aisle to give the woman a tissue and a hug. I couldn't decide if I would have been embarrassed or grateful if I was the crying woman. At the end of the service they announced the tearful woman had just found out her second child had a second cancerous tumor while her youngest was still dealing with leukemia. Her story made me teary.
During the last song people had an opportunity to come forward to make a decision to join the church or to become a Christian or just ask for prayer. A young guy that looked high school age started the walk forward as soon as the song began and talked to the pastor. After speaking to the pastor he sat in the front row with a man from church to fill out a form as we continued to sing. Midway through the song, the kid's friend came forward to sit with him and put his arm around him. My eyes filled with tears again as I thought how blessed they were to have a friendship like that... to be there for each other... to support each other. Pastor Cook announced at the end of the song the guy was joining the church.
I don't know any of those people, but I think about how God is working in their lives... and how He's working in mine and I'm grateful... and I cry. Why do I cry so much? Who knows? But I'd like to believe when my heart overflows with gratitude and love, the overflow is expressed through my tears. I feel like I cry more now out of happiness but sometimes I still cry out of sadness. Everyone always says "everything happens for a reason." I try to embrace the theory but I don't always understand the reasons. When bad things happen I really struggle with the reasons.
I want to get better at trusting the reasons... better at trusting God's plan. In the same sense I need to figure out how to forgive. I always talk about trying not to hold grudges but I also don't want to be taken advantage of or walked all over. In our culture we judge our mistakes on a scale based on how bad it is... anywhere from a "whoops" to a "you're going to jail." I'm still sorting out what is ok and what's not... what's forgettable and what's not.
I read a cool blog last week that really made me think... praying for wisdom. If you get a chance, check out Carlos Whittaker's blog on "Christians and Their Molestation Problem"
p.s. Someone in Australia checked out my blog... shoutout to the outback!
Years later I'd like to think I'm better but not sure I've really convinced myself. It's a little more acceptable for females to cry, but not sure about 28-year old females... especially 28-year old females in professional settings.
On Sunday I went to church and saw a woman crying while we sang "Your Grace is Enough." A woman in my row squeezed out to the aisle to give the woman a tissue and a hug. I couldn't decide if I would have been embarrassed or grateful if I was the crying woman. At the end of the service they announced the tearful woman had just found out her second child had a second cancerous tumor while her youngest was still dealing with leukemia. Her story made me teary.
During the last song people had an opportunity to come forward to make a decision to join the church or to become a Christian or just ask for prayer. A young guy that looked high school age started the walk forward as soon as the song began and talked to the pastor. After speaking to the pastor he sat in the front row with a man from church to fill out a form as we continued to sing. Midway through the song, the kid's friend came forward to sit with him and put his arm around him. My eyes filled with tears again as I thought how blessed they were to have a friendship like that... to be there for each other... to support each other. Pastor Cook announced at the end of the song the guy was joining the church.
I don't know any of those people, but I think about how God is working in their lives... and how He's working in mine and I'm grateful... and I cry. Why do I cry so much? Who knows? But I'd like to believe when my heart overflows with gratitude and love, the overflow is expressed through my tears. I feel like I cry more now out of happiness but sometimes I still cry out of sadness. Everyone always says "everything happens for a reason." I try to embrace the theory but I don't always understand the reasons. When bad things happen I really struggle with the reasons.
I want to get better at trusting the reasons... better at trusting God's plan. In the same sense I need to figure out how to forgive. I always talk about trying not to hold grudges but I also don't want to be taken advantage of or walked all over. In our culture we judge our mistakes on a scale based on how bad it is... anywhere from a "whoops" to a "you're going to jail." I'm still sorting out what is ok and what's not... what's forgettable and what's not.
I read a cool blog last week that really made me think... praying for wisdom. If you get a chance, check out Carlos Whittaker's blog on "Christians and Their Molestation Problem"
p.s. Someone in Australia checked out my blog... shoutout to the outback!
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