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Tuesday, December 8, 2009

it's that time of year...

I had every intention of writing a Thanksgiving blog, but before I knew it, Thanksgiving was gone and I feel like I just keep playing catch up. I was so grateful to be able to go home for a couple of days over Thanksgiving. I hadn't been home since late July so it was a much needed visit. Tuesday night my parents took me to dinner and Wednesday my mom and I went Christmas shopping before I had dinner with my older sister and her family. We intended to have sibling movie night, but Kelsie couldn't make the trip and Adam was a no-show. Mindy and I were talking about Kelsie celebrating her first Thanksgiving married and Mindy and her husband were reminiscing about their first one. Evidently my mom was having a miscarriage and my parents dropped me off with Mindy and Jamie while they went to the hospital. I didn't remember hearing this story before and it broke my heart... broke my heart to think of my mom going through a miscarriage... and broke my heart to think that is the memory of Mindy and Jamie's first Thanksgiving as a married couple. There's no telling without the miscarriage, Kelsie may not be here and I'm so grateful for her but I've spent the last couple of weeks mourning my other sibling I never had the chance to meet. 

Since returning to North Carolina, I feel like things have been full speed ahead. Christmas is less than three weeks away. I taught the last class of my first semester teaching and will give my first final exam on Friday. I've been contemplating my future career steps and praying more and more for guidance. I recently spent a weekend in Newport News, Virginia celebrating one of my former college teammate's weddings. It was crazy reminiscing with people who were such an integral part of my life 6-9 years ago. 

I'm still in a place where every day I wake up and fall asleep remembering the same day the year before. I had such a strong support system.. fellowship, accountability.. I made the mistake of thinking it was forever. I'm still trying to adapt to change and be grateful for that period in my life while still looking expectantly at the coming days.

I'm trying to become a more consistent prayer. I was reading Lamentations 3... Jeremiah is talking about the struggles he went through during the destruction of Jerusalem. Lately I'm holding on to 3:21-24...
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'"

David Crowder's "All I Can Say" covered at The Ridge Fellowship in Leander, TX:



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