It's Christmas night and I'm exhausted, but I don't want the day to pass me by without really grasping the reality of it. Most of our holidays have become over commercialized... people more concerned with buying cards and gifts than appreciating the true meaning behind the holiday. Christmas is no different... we rush around to send Christmas cards, decorate the house, buy gifts, attend the Christmas parties, pretend to be Santa for the kids... it's every where.
The funny thing is, Christmas started in something resembling more like a stable when a virgin teenage girl had a baby. There was no Santa, no house decorations, no cards or reindeer. Some of our Christmas traditions started with thoughts of Christianity, but they've been so distorted some of us don't even know what Christmas really means. Christmas is the day we celebrate Jesus' birth. The part that is hard to understand (or maybe believe) is Jesus is God's son but came to earth with a greater plan that would ultimately be fulfilled through Easter. No one really expected God's son to come through a poor teenager in a barn, but humans screw up and God was gracious enough to send his Son to cover up for us... (an understatement). Either way I want to remember why I woke up at the butt crack of dawn to open presents and spent the day with family chaos rather than sitting in my office staring at a computer all day.
Discovering Christmas
A man hated church, but he loved ducks. But his ducks were really dumb ducks. They wouldn't go south when winter came. He fretted as each day got colder, and they weaker. He tried to put grain down leading into his barn, where they would be safe, but they wouldn't have any of it. He left the doors open at night, and put lights on inside, and they didn't even notice. It grew colder as the days went by, and the duck lover pondered and thought. He played music inside. He put Fox decoys all around outside. In frustration, he finally tried to herd them into his barn, but the more he waved and shouted, the more afraid the dumb ducks got, and fled further away from the warmth and the food their loving duck shepherd was offering them.
Our poor duck shepherd fell to his knees sobbing, knowing these ducks would soon die now, and nothing he could do would help them- nothing, because he was unfathomable to them, and they feared him. He thought, "If only I could be one of them, I could show them, communicate to them, and they would accept me, and not be afraid of me, and I could bring them to safety, warmth, shelter- to a place I myself have prepared for them. Just then he heard the bells for Christmas eve services, and realized for the first time what that babe in Bethlehem was all about...
Sidenote... babble about prayer...
I think about prayer a lot. Someone gets sick and we ask for prayer. Sometimes we pray for our food before we eat it. Occasionally we are hit with an emergency and throw up a prayer out of desperation. I'm not always sure how effective my prayers are, but I have to trust that they're being heard. Unfortunately the examples of prayer that we put out there aren't always good ones. In a lot of churches, prayer is a speech with a lot of churchy words like "redemption" and "wherefore shall" and "calvary" that are not found in our typical conversation. I think prayer is a way to communicate with God... so it doesn't have to be wordy or churchy or stiff... I don't think God's impressed by it. Prayer is like calling my best friend to talk... or maybe writing a letter is easier than talking... there are no rules... I just think it should be real...
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
graduation
I attended my 8th Methodist College/University graduation yesterday. As an employee at Methodist some might not find that very surprising, but I've only attended two as an employee. I was a student when I attended four of them (one being my own) and came back for two others. I've become quite the Methodist graduation connoisseur over the last six years.
In the beginning graduation was a bit more like a burden because I had finished my exams and was anxious to get home. Eventually my friends started graduating and it was nice to at least see them walk the stage. Unlike most bachelor's degrees, Methodist has a hooding ceremony. Graduates choose a "sponsor", ideally someone who has aided them during their college career, to walk across the stage with them and place the hood around their neck. During the three ceremonies I watched before my own, my favorite part was always seeing who people picked to hood them. Most people choose their mom or dad, so when it was my turn I had to be different. My aunt was a recent cancer survivor and I had grown particularly close to her during her treatments and asked her to be my sponsor. I think she thought I was an alcoholic (get it? sponsor for AA? ok never mind) but I assured her I just needed her to come to graduation. It was such a big deal to me and I hope my aunt felt the importance. I'm not sure Methodist does a very good job at explaining the significance to graduates who haven't attended a ceremony. Regardless, I will always cherish my own graduation and am grateful to my aunt for participating in the occasion!
Even after I graduated I still look forward to seeing everyone's sponsor. There are always oohs and aahs for the graduates who have their young children hood them or quiet chuckles when a 5 foot mom has to try to hood her 6'5 son (slight exaggeration). On Saturday the first graduate's sponsor was listed incorrectly... the sponsor was announced as the graduate's wife while an older man hooded him. Insert nervous laughter here. I was honored to be asked to hood a graduate but a bit nervous to be on the other end. I sat next to a guy hooding his brother. The graduate kept telling his brother he had written him down as his significant other. Lauren wanted to write down I was her lover. I would have loved to have seen the president's face after that one. Of course I think I surprised him enough being a hooder in my cap and gown as he tried to remember who I was. Good times.
Summary... hooding is a big deal to me. It's a big deal to see students walk the stage who wanted to quit but kept going. It's a big deal to be able to walk behind them and feel a part of the moment. And it's an even bigger deal that I did it in heels without falling! :)
In the beginning graduation was a bit more like a burden because I had finished my exams and was anxious to get home. Eventually my friends started graduating and it was nice to at least see them walk the stage. Unlike most bachelor's degrees, Methodist has a hooding ceremony. Graduates choose a "sponsor", ideally someone who has aided them during their college career, to walk across the stage with them and place the hood around their neck. During the three ceremonies I watched before my own, my favorite part was always seeing who people picked to hood them. Most people choose their mom or dad, so when it was my turn I had to be different. My aunt was a recent cancer survivor and I had grown particularly close to her during her treatments and asked her to be my sponsor. I think she thought I was an alcoholic (get it? sponsor for AA? ok never mind) but I assured her I just needed her to come to graduation. It was such a big deal to me and I hope my aunt felt the importance. I'm not sure Methodist does a very good job at explaining the significance to graduates who haven't attended a ceremony. Regardless, I will always cherish my own graduation and am grateful to my aunt for participating in the occasion!
Even after I graduated I still look forward to seeing everyone's sponsor. There are always oohs and aahs for the graduates who have their young children hood them or quiet chuckles when a 5 foot mom has to try to hood her 6'5 son (slight exaggeration). On Saturday the first graduate's sponsor was listed incorrectly... the sponsor was announced as the graduate's wife while an older man hooded him. Insert nervous laughter here. I was honored to be asked to hood a graduate but a bit nervous to be on the other end. I sat next to a guy hooding his brother. The graduate kept telling his brother he had written him down as his significant other. Lauren wanted to write down I was her lover. I would have loved to have seen the president's face after that one. Of course I think I surprised him enough being a hooder in my cap and gown as he tried to remember who I was. Good times.
Summary... hooding is a big deal to me. It's a big deal to see students walk the stage who wanted to quit but kept going. It's a big deal to be able to walk behind them and feel a part of the moment. And it's an even bigger deal that I did it in heels without falling! :)
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
slow as molasses...
I've been slacking... big time. I haven't done as well keeping in touch with my long distance friends. I haven't been running (ok when did I ever do that on a regular basis... but still). I haven't posted a blog in awhile either.
For some, blogs are stupid. For some, blogs are a way to eavesdrop on their myspace "friends'" lives. For some, blogs are a survey posting system or a lyrics proclaimer. For me, they have been a way to release... sometimes a way to share... but usually a way to get out what I can't get off my mind. Sometimes I delve too deep or sometimes maybe not deep enough.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. I had the opportunity to go home for a couple of days and I was determined to spend the time with my family. I did some Christmas shopping with my mom, had a movie night with my sister and hung out with the fam Thanksgiving day. I hadn't been home since the beginning of August so it was just comforting to be back on the shore. Sometimes I take home for granted but I'll always have a special place in my heart for the shore. My older brother and sister are crazy in their own ways but I'm so grateful for our relationships. As weird as our family is with siblings 22 years apart and a nephew older than his aunt... I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanksgiving always ends up being a bit of a tease because my trip home is so short making me anticipate Christmas even more. I can't wait to go home again in a couple of weeks and visit friends and family. Of course whenever you see people you haven't seen in awhile, and you're 25 years old, everyone's bound to ask about your marital prospects. It's always fun to explain you're still single, or maybe you have to explain what happened to the guy you were dating the last time you saw them. Every time I think I'm ok with being single, I have to re-convince myself when I explain it to everyone else.
I was talking to a friend last week about finding "the one." There are a lot of people that say you'll find him/her when you least expect it or when you stop looking. I do believe sometimes we try too hard or we settle for stupid relationships just to be in a relationship. On the other hand, if I just sit in my office 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the chances are slim that "the one" will waltz into my life. We say to let go of our problems and give them over to God, and I agree we shouldn't worry, but if I need a job, I still have to send out my resume, or make some connections to find a job opportunity. I'm not planning on sending my relationship resume to all the single guys in the world, but I am going to be satisfied with where I am in my life while still pursuing things/people that will enrich my life. I'm thankful for the people in my life and I'm praying that some day God will bless me with a husband that will only add to the blessings I already have. I just have to keep convincing myself! :)
Completely random sidenote... on the way home for thanksgiving, I was in my third accident in a year. Thankfully everyone was safe. You can't even really see a whole lot of damage from the exterior but a cute little neon slid right up underneath my car and managed to do almost $3,000 worth of damage. By the way, none of the accidents have been my fault. I think in the five and a half years I've owned the CRV, I've almost replaced the entire car. Have no fear, it's in the shop and should be fixed sometime before 2008. In the meantime, I'm hitch hiking around Fayetteville thanks to some great chauffeurs. I appreciate the help kids!
Okay one more random sidenote... sometimes people will surprise you. I'm sometimes afraid to completely trust people, but I want to give you a shot... at the same time I don't want to get hurt. I think I've learned not to cut someone out before you give them a chance. Sometimes living here hasn't always been dreamy, but "monarchs forever" has given me a new outlook on what can be in a group of friends. I'm "forever" grateful.
For some, blogs are stupid. For some, blogs are a way to eavesdrop on their myspace "friends'" lives. For some, blogs are a survey posting system or a lyrics proclaimer. For me, they have been a way to release... sometimes a way to share... but usually a way to get out what I can't get off my mind. Sometimes I delve too deep or sometimes maybe not deep enough.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, but I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. I had the opportunity to go home for a couple of days and I was determined to spend the time with my family. I did some Christmas shopping with my mom, had a movie night with my sister and hung out with the fam Thanksgiving day. I hadn't been home since the beginning of August so it was just comforting to be back on the shore. Sometimes I take home for granted but I'll always have a special place in my heart for the shore. My older brother and sister are crazy in their own ways but I'm so grateful for our relationships. As weird as our family is with siblings 22 years apart and a nephew older than his aunt... I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thanksgiving always ends up being a bit of a tease because my trip home is so short making me anticipate Christmas even more. I can't wait to go home again in a couple of weeks and visit friends and family. Of course whenever you see people you haven't seen in awhile, and you're 25 years old, everyone's bound to ask about your marital prospects. It's always fun to explain you're still single, or maybe you have to explain what happened to the guy you were dating the last time you saw them. Every time I think I'm ok with being single, I have to re-convince myself when I explain it to everyone else.
I was talking to a friend last week about finding "the one." There are a lot of people that say you'll find him/her when you least expect it or when you stop looking. I do believe sometimes we try too hard or we settle for stupid relationships just to be in a relationship. On the other hand, if I just sit in my office 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the chances are slim that "the one" will waltz into my life. We say to let go of our problems and give them over to God, and I agree we shouldn't worry, but if I need a job, I still have to send out my resume, or make some connections to find a job opportunity. I'm not planning on sending my relationship resume to all the single guys in the world, but I am going to be satisfied with where I am in my life while still pursuing things/people that will enrich my life. I'm thankful for the people in my life and I'm praying that some day God will bless me with a husband that will only add to the blessings I already have. I just have to keep convincing myself! :)
Completely random sidenote... on the way home for thanksgiving, I was in my third accident in a year. Thankfully everyone was safe. You can't even really see a whole lot of damage from the exterior but a cute little neon slid right up underneath my car and managed to do almost $3,000 worth of damage. By the way, none of the accidents have been my fault. I think in the five and a half years I've owned the CRV, I've almost replaced the entire car. Have no fear, it's in the shop and should be fixed sometime before 2008. In the meantime, I'm hitch hiking around Fayetteville thanks to some great chauffeurs. I appreciate the help kids!
Okay one more random sidenote... sometimes people will surprise you. I'm sometimes afraid to completely trust people, but I want to give you a shot... at the same time I don't want to get hurt. I think I've learned not to cut someone out before you give them a chance. Sometimes living here hasn't always been dreamy, but "monarchs forever" has given me a new outlook on what can be in a group of friends. I'm "forever" grateful.
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