TMI...

I could go on and on about the positives of social media. I really believe in the benefits it provides personally and professionally, but I'm not oblivious to the negatives. We spend a lot of time in college athletics talking about social media and how to educate student-athletes (and sometimes staff) to use it successfully. I think one of the biggest questions to ask is always, "How much is too much?" There are no official rules and I'm sure there are people all over the spectrum in terms of what they deem acceptable, but I've been brainstorming a lot on how to find the balance, especially when writing a blog. People usually appreciate vulnerability. We want truth, but at some point there's a line that we cross that makes us feel like creepy voyeurists and we just run away with our eyes covered. 

Many people will use social media to gush about their current relationship. I think there is a time and place to share about your awesome relationship. Please compliment your significant other, celebrate those milestones and share those photos of your adventures through life together. On the other hand, I'm not quite sure your friends want to see a daily (let alone hourly) post about how you've been together for 22 days 14 hours 5 minutes, nor do most friends support daily selfies from bed… but if they're still following you, that's on them. :) 

The bigger problem comes when you break up. I have this thing where when I get dumped, I usually don't want the guy or anyone else to know he hurt me. I'm going to at least appear strong even if all I want to do is cry. I'm not sure the "fake it 'til you make it" approach is psychologically approved, but it feels safe at least from a public perspective. I'm definitely going to vent to my best friend and tell her how hurt I am, but I'm not always sure what the public venting accomplishes. If enough people like your status or favorite your tweet, will you feel better? Too often, we don't get the approval rating we want and we end up feeling even more lousy. I am not saying we should bottle up our feelings or stifle all emotion. I, of all people, believe in expressing ourselves, but I'm just not sure a public domain is always the best place to heal from a relationship. 

In most cases (not all), I think it's usually safe to share with a  friend or family member first. If I were in charge of social media law, I might even ask we put a moratorium on all social media sharing for a week after a breakup (or longer depending on how long the relationship was and/or how traumatic the breakup).  Take some time to heal and talk it through with your inner circle (or even journal!) before saying something you'll regret via social media. I'm much more patient with the sappy, but I am also a lot more hesitant to buy into the sappy if you were being all googly-eyed with a different person last month. 

Can we be genuine without drowning in the woe is me? Can we replace one post with an actual conversation this week? Can you find something positive to share?

chasing life...

I have a habit of watching tv shows aimed at a target audience 10-20 years younger than myself. I used to be able to blame it on working with college students, but I'm not sure I can even use that excuse anymore. 

If you haven't seen it, Chasing Life is a new show on ABC Family that follows April Carver as she is diagnosed with, and deals with leukemia. She spent most of the first eight episodes in denial, before she comes to a point of confrontation this week. April works for a Boston newspaper and the day before she starts chemo, she wrote a piece about a gubernatorial candidate walking out of a debate to check on his son who has brain cancer.

"As I watched Bruce Hendrie at the debate the other night, I didn't see a wealthy businessman or a candidate seeking office standing before me. I saw a father and I recognized that look in his eyes, that terrible fear because I've seen that same fear in my own mother's eyes, and my grandma's eyes, and my baby sister eyes, because I have cancer too.  And let me tell you, it’s a bitch. And it’s an equal opportunity offender. No amount of money in the world, no amount of privilege, can make you exempt. Look at Leo Hendrie. And when it chooses you, you’re suddenly thrust into a club that you didn’t ask to join. You’re shipped off to war even though you never enlisted in the army. But you have to put on your armour anyway, and know that if you’re lucky, you’ll discover new sides of yourself, Like a will you never knew you had. And you’ll get to see new sides of the people who matter the most to you in the world, as they rap you in their love and lend you their strength when yours is running low. And then you go off and you fight. You fight like hell. Because, really, what other choice do you have?" - April Carver

There's a lot I can pull out of this especially after knowing way too many people who have fought cancer (let's be honest.. knowing one person is one too many). It bothers me that it takes cancer (or other hard times) to see new sides of the people who matter the most to you in the world. Sometimes the bad comes out in people and you wish that it never came to this… but so often the bad… the cancer, the divorce, the death… brings out the best in the best people. I wish it didn't take the bad to bring out the good. 

I could never wish any of the bad on anyone… but I wonder what you might say… how you might act if a situation was more dire. 

Would you get over the grudge faster? Would you love bigger? Would you give more? Would you take a leap of faith sooner? 

Don't wait for the bad to be the best you can be.