adios 2012...

I know there are some people purely relieved to say goodbye to 2012. Many people use a new year to mark a fresh start and it's helpful to have a mile marker so to speak to give us a chance to really move past whatever might have held us back the year before.

I just re-read my "farewell 2012" blog and the things I learned in 2011... I spent a lot of time reminding myself and sometimes relearning in 2012. I think that's how it goes sometimes. At the same time I don't want to get caught up in wishing away an entire year or an experience because something went wrong. There were a lot of really good things that happened in 2012 and I'm choosing to focus on them as I step into 2013!

My highlights from 2012... in chronological order (I think!)...
1. took a trip to Funchester and hung out with friends before surprising MU women's basketball
2. surprised my mom making it home in time for her birthday dinner
3. flew to Baltimore and back to NC in a day to see the Ravens win a playoff game
4. Vonta Leach retweeted me (sometimes it's the little things :)
5. an awesome man at Snyder's encouragement
6. learned more about forgiveness
7. youth Sunday at Snyder
8. my neighbor and cousin cut my grass when my lawn mower broke
9. ate lunch in the lion's den three times in one day
10. Easter Jam
11. nerd herd reunion in Burlington
12. a day doing absolutely nothing but watching movies
13. Sugarland concert
14. solid night in Raleigh with friends
15. experienced Parker's for the first time
16. my great-aunt turned 104
17. experienced the Sandbar for the first time
18. new lighting in my kitchen
19. first trip to NYC
20. sweet speed boat ride in Charleston
21. friends who helped me survive no AC in NC summer heat
22. all-American 4th of July
23. fun parental visit
24. a new job
25. spent my 30th birthday with my second family
26. Pat Summitt autograph from amazing friends
27. tons of help prepping my house for sale and packing for the move
28. goodbye lunches/dinners
29. FaceTiming during FCA
30. reuniting with MD friends and fam
31. MU volleyball in DC
32. my parents celebrated 35th anniversary
33. Mississippi visit
34. survived Sandy with no damage
35. introduced Lindsey at HOF induction
36. MU women's basketball in PA
37. sometimes my little sister is stronger than me
38. Thanksiving with the family
39. Boy Meets World sequel is official :)
40. shopping with my sisters
41. praying in three languages
42. Christmas celebrations with family and friends

those highlights not limited to a specific day...
43. medical miracles
44. countless lunches and dinners with friends and family
45. dated an amazing guy
46. swimming/laying out at other people's pools
47. four of my friends had healthy babies
48. my mom's homemade meals
49. others keeping an eye on my house
50. NC visits
51. snail mail
52. free movies
53. playing soccer again
54. Orioles and Ravens games
55. family birthday dinners
56. sermons and tv shows to pass the time during the commute
57. video webcasting during games
58. high school friends' 30th birthday reunions
59. read more books
60. helped a friend or two

How can I regret or wish away 2012 when so many good things happened? Here's to hoping 2013 is even better!

Immanuel...

On the way to church tonight for the Christmas Eve service, I was struck by how many people are spending Christmas alone. While I don't think the purpose of Christmas is family, it is such a comfort to celebrate with family. It is one of two holidays I've managed to ensure I'm always with family (Thanksgiving being the other). I honestly can't fathom not being with people I love and care about during such an important day.

On top of that, being alone is probably one of my biggest fears. Now don't get me wrong, I love to spend time by myself. I've never been great at having roommates, and as much as I can be perceived as loud and outgoing, I can sink into my own head so easily and crave time to decompress by myself. However, it is a comfort to know I can always come home and be surrounded by family when I need them or just need to be around people. It is always reassuring to know I have friends who I could call and they would drop everything if I needed them. And I'm still praying I'll find a man who I can spend the rest of my life with... eventually.

All that to say, there are people not as fortunate. We think a lot about those less fortunate financially during the holidays. There are toy drives and adopt-a-family programs and tons of ways to support those who might be hungry or cold or going without toys this Christmas. I don't want to take anything away from them or what they might be going through. I just have really felt it pressed on my heart tonight to lift up those people who might be surrounded by material possessions, in a warm house, with the world at their fingertips... but alone. I'm praying everyone has someone they can spend Christmas with... and if I knew of someone who needed a place to go tomorrow I'd make room at our table.

Sometimes when someone complains about feeling alone, the easy "Sunday School" answer is to remind them we're never alone, because God is with us. It doesn't always feel like enough to know this being we can't see and can't always here is with us and it can feel like empty encouragement. Our church played a video tonight during the service, reminding us of the verse from Matthew 1:23... "'The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel' (which means 'God with us')."

Too often, I have sped right past that. There are so many names for God, it's easy to take them for granted. "God with us" just sat with me tonight and I was reminded... even when it feels empty or not enough... God is enough because he sent His son to be God with us. We are never alone... even when it's Christmas... even when we feel like we're alone... We are never alone.

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